


Poster Boy

by starwrite_er



Series: Poster Boy [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pilot!Reader, Slow Burn, rivals to lovers?, set before and during TFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-14 02:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 51,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9153169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwrite_er/pseuds/starwrite_er
Summary: Poe Dameron. Best Pilot in the Resistance. Poster Boy for the Resistance. It's enough to make anyone kind of jealous. But, whoops, turns out he's more than just a good guy, and you might’ve stolen his role in a mission.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that page in the Star Wars Propaganda book

I remember how I stood in line with the numerous other recruits, dressed in the iconic orange coveralls, hands folded behind our backs. Finally, I had gathered the courage to join the Resistance, to fight, to _fly_. General Organa herself had looked each of us up and down, silently judging us, seeing for the first time what we could be capable of. Since then we’d come far. We’d long since completed training and began to make a name for ourselves at the main base.

"Did you guys seriously join because you thought some guy on a recruitment poster was hot?“ I shake my head at my friends in mock disappointment. Aside from me, my squadron consisted of a girl called Hyadum, a boy called Biham, another boy called Graves, a girl that goes by the name Jenn, and one more guy called Chertan.

"Why did you think I was so excited when we were assigned to D'Qar?” Hyadum waves the datapad displaying the infamous mockup poster with the words ‘Watching Over The Sky And The Stars’ emblazoned across the top, an attractive man posing heroically alongside some X-Wings beneath. “C'mon, you can’t tell us he’s not good looking.”

"What he _is_ is arrogant. I mean, ’ _best pilot in the resistance_ ’? Really?“ I roll my eyes, leaning back against my X-Wing. “I joined because flying X-Wing Starfighters is the most exciting, exhilarating experience I’ve ever had. Joining the Resistance gives me the chance to do that while also fighting for the freedom of people across galaxy.”

"And that’s why you’re the team leader,“ Chertan nudges me, and I smile at him, grateful. "Well, when Dameron isn’t calling the shots.” I glare at my teammate, no longer grateful.

"Red Squadron, Ivory Squadron, you’re up.“ I sigh, recognising the voice of the cocky pilot. Seems our time wasting is over. My teammates return to their own X-Wings as my BB unit rolls over to me.

"C'mon, ‘09. We’ve got a job to do.” I grin down at the grey and white BB droid, BB-09.

The Hoth system is home to a small Resistance outpost in addition to the old ruins of the Rebel Alliance’s Echo Base. Coming out of hyperspace gives us a full view of the icy planet and the small scale fight happening just outside. A small squadron of X-Wing Starfighters - the Azure Squadron, I think - that had been stationed at the Hoth outpost are already fighting.

"Alright, here we go. Lock S-Foils in attack position.“ Commander Dameron’s voice comes through the comms. It only takes a moment for the TIE Fighters to notice us.

"This is Azure Four, requesting backup! I’ve got a whole lot of TIEs on my tail here!” Calls out the voice of one of the pilots from Hoth.

"BB-09, lock onto Azure Four’s position.“ I shout back to my astromech droid before speaking into the mic. "This is Ivory One. I’m on my way.”

The TIE Fighters are nearly on top of the pilot. From behind, I surge forward, a rapid succession of shots fired destroying the four TIEs. I pull up sharply, avoiding Azure Four’s X-Wing, doing a loop so to quickly dive down again, taking out a TIE Fighter set to collide with Azure Four. '09 screeches from the back as I laugh in glee, zipping past the front of the Hoth based X-Wing, targeting a new cluster of TIEs.

"That was some fancy flying, Ivory One. Thanks for the save.“ My comrade’s voice says over the comms.

"Just doing what I can.” I reply, a grin on my face.

"The laughter as you shot those ships down _really_ made the moment.“ Jenn jokes. I roll my eyes, spotting her ship far away to my right.

"What can I say, Ivory Three? I love my job.” I state, still beaming at the thrill of the chase.

I watch as more TIE Fighters materialise in front of me, my breath hitching as an old Star Destroyer appears alongside them. I pull up, narrowly avoiding crashing into the ships.

Damn, they must _really_ want that outpost gone.

Why are they sending so much firepower, though?

"What’s the plan, Black Leader?“ I ask, voice clear, if not slightly strained, as I focus my efforts of making a dent in the opposing forces. Through the comms I hear the voices of all the pilots asking the same question.

"Y'know, I don’t think I want to be an X-Wing pilot anymore.” Hyadum says, and I can hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"Yeah, well that’s what happens when you sign up to a war effort because you thought a poster looked nice,“ I mutter. My eyes run over the old ship, reminding myself of how they were destroyed in the past. Why were the First Order using such old tech? I collect myself before speaking again. "Alright, listen up everyone. Ivory Two, Four, Five, make sure those TIE Fighters don’t get near that Star Destroyer. Ivory Three, Six, deal with those turbolasers. Azure Squadron, am I correct in thinking you still consist of six pilots?”

"Yes, Ivory Leader.“ Somebody on the Azure Squadron responds. I inhale deeply, firing at one of the spherical deflector generators, accepting how I’ve overstepped my boundaries, so far that the Azure Squadron think I’m a commanding officer. I swerve around the globes, taking out a few TIE Fighters on the way.

"I need Azure One and Two to deal with those deflector shield generator globes. Azure Three, Four, help my team with those armaments - focus on the ion cannons. Azure Five, Six, help keep those TIEs off our tails.” I instruct, fearing more for the punishment I’ll receive when we return than the Star Destroyer at that moment.

"Red Squadron, bring down those armaments. Take out any TIE that gets too close. Red Four, watch my back. Keep an eye out for Ivory _Leader_ , too.“ I wince internally as Commander Dameron emphasises my 'new’ callsign. I can’t quite tell if he’s amused or angry, and that really doesn’t help.

"This is Azure Two. One shield generator down!” I’m informed as I watch the left orb explode. As the remaining shield generator explodes, the black and orange of Commander Dameron’s X-Wing passes through the wreck and overhead my ship.

"This is Black Leader. The shield generators are down, _Ivory One_.“ I swear I hear one of my teammates snickering as Black Leader refers to me by my actual callname.

I swoop round the ship and into position. I push my X-Wing to it’s limit, constantly firing at the bridge of the Star Destroyer, finally hitting it with my X-Wing’s torpedoes. I quickly activate my shield as I fly through the flames of the bridge. I whoop and laugh as the enemy warship begins to sink towards the frozen wasteland that is Hoth, BB-09 whirring and beeping along with me. I turn in a wide arc, directing my fire power to the remaining TIE Fighters.

"You’re having the time of your life, Ivory One. I don’t think you even realise your mic is on.” I just laugh as Chertan teases me.

"Azure One, send a message down to Hoth informing them of this scrap,“ The Commander orders over the comms. My excitement dies down a little. "Not bad, Ivory One, but next time leave the commanding to me.”

"Right. Sorry, sir.“ I reply, _really_ not wanting to return to base after that. I hear my teammates snickering at my misfortune.

"Alright, team, let’s get back.” I hear Commander Dameron over the comms. I look out the window, watching as the Star Destroyer comes crashing down and the Azure squadron returns to Hoth.

"It was nice working with you.“ Azure One says over the comms. I just catch his words before making the jump to hyperspace.

"Red Flight, report in.” The Red Squadron responds to their commanding officer one by one, letting him know they’ve all arrived. “Ivory Flight, report in.”

"Ivory One, standing by.“ I say, my teammates following after me.

We touch down on the landing strip, a small crowd gathered to congratulate us. I pause for a moment, mentally preparing myself for whatever comes as a result of my actions. With a deep breath, I exit my X-Wing.

I’m met with the same cheering as my teammates. As I’m giving the crowd a sheepish smile and a small wave, the rest of my squadron surround me, slapping me on the back and praising my work. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Commander Dameron watching me, next to him General Organa.

"Lieutenant Y/N L/N, I’d like to have a word.” The General calls me over. I swallow thickly, nervous, not particularly helped by my friends whispering 'good luck’ to me.

"How can I help, General?“ I ask, clutching my helmet under my arm as I take my place to the right of General Organa.

"Usually somebody would be punished for disobeying the orders of their commanding officer and even giving orders of their own,” The General casts a sideways glance at Commander Dameron who is walking beside her on her left. “However, the orders you gave were more than suitable and the mission succeeded, so this time you’re off the hook. In fact, your actions may just earn you some recognition.”

I sigh in relief, thanking the General, a ghost of a smile slipping onto her face. We come to a stop outside the Command Centre, my superiors turning to face me.

"The mission will be discussed thoroughly. We may have more to tell you at a later date. You are dismissed, Lieutenant.“ General Organa tells me before entering the Command Centre.

"That was some sharp flying out there. You’re not a bad pilot.” Commander Dameron says after a moment, drawing my attention.

"Thank you, Commander,“ I flash a weak smile. "And, uh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken control the way I did.” _But you were taking too long, and my way worked_.

"You took down the Star Destroyer, so I’d say your plan was a success. Maybe next time don’t show me up like that in front of my squadron, though,“ He grins at me. "And just call me Poe.”

"Oh, right, okay. Thank you, Comman- uh, Poe,“ I fidget with my helmet awkwardly. "Sorry, I should probably be going.”

We quickly part ways, and I escape to the X-Wing hanger in which my ship can be found. I slump down, leaning against a crate as I process what just happened. I’m not getting kicked out for my little stunt back there. In fact, I might even be on my way to getting a _promotion_. Even Commander Dameron - Poe Dameron - isn’t as bad as I though. I laugh breathily, relieved and overjoyed but the result of today’s mission.


	2. II

I’m woken up by a banging on the door to my quarters. I refuse to get up, but the banging doesn’t cease, and it doesn’t take long for BB-09 to start beeping at me to answer it.

"Can I help you?“ I snap as I open the door, only to have a pile of clothing shoved into my arms. The abrupt action wakes me up fully.

"General needs you on the landing strip in 10. You’ll also need to hand in your old uniform at some point.” Commander Poe Dameron tells me.

"Oh, uh, thanks?“ I say, still moderately confused. The man goes to leave, stifling a yawn. "Hey, you okay? You look exhausted.”

"Not everyone gets dismissed as early as you do.“ He replies flatly, walking away. I frown, watching him go for a moment before returning to my room, closing the door behind me, deciding to dismiss his behaviour.

Why would I need a new uniform? All they’ve given me are two pairs of the same orange jumpsuit as I’ve always had to wear and a badge. My eyes widen at the sight of the badge, though, a small, giddy giggle escaping me.

"I think I got a promotion, ‘09!” I grin down at the BB unit whirring at my feet happily. Poe’s message makes a little more sense now, the realisation dawning on me. “Oh, Maker, I got a _promotion_.”

I quickly change, making myself as presentable as possible in the short amount of time I have. I jog lightly to the landing strip to meet with the General, BB-09 hot on my heels. As the high-ranked woman comes into sight, I slow down, running a hand through my hair, taking note of how the sun is only just peaking over the horizon.

"Our comrades from Hoth will be staying here as a result of the targeting from the First Order,“ General Organa informs me, watching a small fleet of ships landing. "Seeing as you played a vital part in the battle yesterday, and you are already familiar with some of the personnel stationed at Hoth, I need you here.”

I nod in understanding as those that were stationed on Hoth approach, also noticing Commander Dameron take his place on the other side of the General.

"It’s good to see you, Colonel Agthin.“ The General greets. It seems like the Hoth outpost was even smaller than I originally thought, seeing as the group here is so small.

"And you, General Organa. We thank you for your assistance yesterday,” The older man smiles, gesturing to who I assume are the Azure Squadron. “Had your pilots not come to our aid, I dread to think of the lives and vital data we would have lost.”

"Of course. This is Commander Dameron and Captain L/N,“ The General introduces us, and I stand to attention at the confirmation of my promotion, a hint of a smile tugging at my lips, though the Colonel’s words also strike an interest. What kind of vital data would be stored at a tiny outpost on Hoth? "You and your pilots may better recognise them as Black Leader and Ivory Leader, though.”

General Organa glances at me, a twinkle in her eyes and a ghost of a smile on her face. Ivory _Leader_?

"If you would follow Commander Dameron and I to the Command Room, bringing with you the data from Hoth,“ General Organa then turns to address me. "Captain L/N, show the Azure Squadron around - the necessary data has been sent to your datapad. You’ll be needing to get to know them.” The General winks inconspicuously at me.

"Yes, General Organa.“ I nod, smiling at the older woman before turning my attention to the six X-Wing pilots as the higher ranked officials take their leave. I pull out my datapad from one of my pockets, finding the message that had been sent to me with information regarding each pilot. I skim over it, surprised to find a small file on myself at the bottom. The file states my position as Captain and commanding officer of Ivory and Azure Squadrons, much to my delight, followed by some basic information and a small bio about me. I’ll read it later.

"So, Captain L/N, huh?” I look up from my datapad, finding one of the pilots grinning at me. “Hardly surprising. You always were top of the class in training.”

"Curint Raytreader. Been a while,“ I return the smile, my attention flickering around the pilots I shared training with. "C'mon, let’s get you all settled.”

"I’m just glad to finally be off of Hoth.“ A girl, Zebalea, says. I wonder if she and Curint are still going steady? Judging by their handholding and close proximity, I’d say it’s a safe guess that they are.

"Boy, did you complain.” I tease her as I lead the group to the X-Wing hanger.

"I had good reason - Hoth had nothing! D'Qar has nice weather, nice scenery, and not to mention nice _people_ ,“ I look back at Zebalea who has a mischievous smirk on her face. "Like, _damn_ , that Commander Dameron is _fine_.”

"Isn’t he the guy on the recruitment poster?“ Another girl, Kat, chimes in.

"Oh, Maker, don’t tell me you guys joined because of that poster too.” I roll my eyes exaggeratedly.

"Who didn’t?“ Curint chuckles - at least he’s honest. Doesn’t stop me from raising my hand. "Of course _you_ didn’t.”

"Is he single?“ A guy called Bryce asks, speeding up to walk beside me.

"Far as I know,” I shrug. Let them have their fun. “Well, this is the hanger, where you’ll find all your X-Wings. We’ll stop by the Command Centre, Food Hall, and Medbay before I show you your assigned rooms.”

"How come you haven’t made a move?“ Bryce prompts, a glint in his eyes. I raise an eyebrow at him, a silent question as to why he’s asking.

"Always seemed too arrogant to me,” I tell them. “I guess he isn’t as bad as I first thought, though, seeing as he could’ve probably gotten me kicked out or at least demoted for acting the way I did on the mission yesterday.”

"Well, thank the Maker you did act the way you did. You got us to take down a Star Destroyer. Thanks for saving me back there, too.“ Teditt pats my shoulder, and I realise he must be Azure Four from yesterday.

"Just doing my job,” I smile sheepishly. “Kinda.”

"You’re our commanding officer now. I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job of your job.“ Murphy speaks up, smiling reassuringly at me.

"Thanks. Well, next stop, the Food Hall,” I show them through the stoney corridors and into the large room full of tables. The smell of breakfast wafts through, and I realise I didn’t have the chance to eat before getting to work.

"Y/N, what are you doing here? You’re hardly ever up this early.“ Chertan saunters over, eating a piece of fruit.

"Duty calls,” I shrug, gesturing to the Azure Squadron. “In the form of someone hammering on my door at the crack of dawn.”

"That’s what that was about?“ Chertan laughs, taking another bite. He must’ve heard, seeing as he’s two rooms down from me. My teammate tosses me one of the fruits he was holding. "You want this more than I do, _Captain_.”

I catch the fruit, smiling in thanks as Chertan brushes past to leave. “Hey, if you see Biham and Graves, tell them I’ve noticed how quiet they’ve gotten? They need to actually be _sleeping_ when they’re sleeping together. Their exhaustion doesn’t help anyone.” Chertan laughs.

I quickly bring the Azure Squadron around the base and to the Medbay, making idle chitchat and answering their questions about the base and the people it’s home to.

"So, you are Chertan, hm?“ Zebalea pipes up as we leave the medical centre, grinning mischievously at me.

"What? Oh, no way. We aren’t a thing,” I laugh at Zebalea’s assumption. “Biham and Graves are, though. So are Jenn and Hyadum."

"There must be _someone_ you like.“ Zebalea pouts, and the rest of her group looks equally interested. Hoth was pretty small; I suppose they would grab at any gossip they got their hands on.

"Afraid not,” I tell her honestly, and she groans, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, here’s the Command Centre.”

I gesture to the open doorway with the faint blue glow. We stand at the top of the stairs leading to the room, vines crawling along the rough stone walls a contrast to the Medbay. Glancing down the steps, I catch the attention of General Organa who is discussing something with Poe just outside the room.

"Captain L/N, once you’re finished touring your new squadron, please report back to me. I have something I wish to discuss.“ The General calls to me, momentarily breaking her conversation with the Commander.

"Will do.” I reply before leading the group further below ground, down to their living quarters.

"What about Commander Dameron? You said he’s single and not as bad as you first thought.“ Zebalea prompts, clearly not letting go of the subject. I sigh.

” _Poster boy_ is just a Commander I happened to piss off on a mission yesterday; trust me, there is _no_ chemistry there,“ I tell her firmly, arriving at the squadron’s quarters. Zebalea drops the subject. "You should have information about your exact dorm on your datapads. If you need anything, just give me a shout.”

Once I’ve ensured they know where they’re staying, I briskly walk back to the Command Centre to speak with General Organa. My shoes make barely a sound as they pass over the stone floor of the underground Resistance base and I let go of my earlier conversation.

"General Organa, you wished to see me?“ I make my presence known, thankful that the meeting she was in is finished. The General beckons me over, turning her attention away from her work.

"As you have already noticed, you have been promoted. I wanted to just go over that with you,” The General begins. “Essentially, your new rank will require you to attend more meetings and go out on more missions. You also have the added responsibilities of being the commanding officer of the Ivory and Azure Squadrons when out in the field. All necessary information has been sent to your datapad."

"I understand. I won’t let you down.“ I nod firmly, a small smile gracing my lips.

"I know you won’t, but you seemed surprised when you found out about your promotion.” The older woman’s voice softens.

"Yeah, I, ah, I was actually expecting to be at least _de_ moted after my actions yesterday. I completely overstepped my boundaries, so I was a little surprised.“ I admit to the General, averting my gaze. She rests a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to meet her eyes.

"It was your quick thinking that took down that Star Destroyer, even if it was Poe’s job. You saved your comrades and faced the enemy with guile and bravery,” She reassures me. “Even Commander Dameron recognised it. That _is_ , after all, why _he_ was the one to suggest making you a commanding officer.”

"He… did?“ I take a moment to process what the General has told me. "I thought he hated me after I took his place as leader yesterday!”

General Organa laughs softly, smiling at me. “Go now. You have a lot to read through and I’m sure your friends are wondering where you are. I’ll be in contact soon regarding a mission.”

I thank her for her time before taking my leave, not quite able to stop the grin spreading across my face.


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small time jump of like. idk. a month? yeah that sounds right. because i couldnt think of anything other than this chapter ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"Approaching the First Order base now. We good on the other side, Black Leader?“ I speak into the commlink, the X-Wing I’m flying in heading straight towards a grey tower, the Azure Squadron in formation close behind me, keeping close to the tops of the tall evergreen trees.

"All clear over here.” Poe replies, approaching with the Blue Squadron the other side of the small First Order base.

The plan was to launch a small scale attack on the outpost as a distraction. Once we’d lured their troops a short way away, Poe was to then sneak into the base to try and locate some information regarding the recent attack on Hoth. I know that the Resistance believed the Hoth outpost to be small enough to go unnoticed, and that’s why they had been keeping some highly classified information there. What I’m not sure, though, is what that information is. We just needed to know how the First Order found out about this information so we could prevent it happening again.

"You all ready for this?“ I question my team as the enemy spots us. The fleet of TIE Fighters split up, going after either Poe’s Squadron or mine. A chorus of affirmations from my team come through the comms.

I do my job, destroying a number of TIE Fighters while keeping a close ear out for the signal to draw the enemy away from Poe. I’m flying towards the tower, two TIEs on my tail, when I get the first round of bad news.

"I’m smoking, but my droid should be able to deal with it.” The voice of Blue Two is slightly staticky. I frown, concerned, and so distracted I almost forget to pull up. In the nick of time, I swerve out of the way of the tall building, though the TIE Fighters aren’t as lucky, crashing into the steel walls in a burst of flames. Someone cries out, and I spot one of our pilot swoop in to take a shot from a TIE Fighter for their teammate. They smack into the same TIE and the two plummet into the forest.

"Blue Two is down.“ Blue Three says weakly. My stomach drops, leaving me with the feeling that this mission will not end the way planned. Instead, I shove the bad feeling aside.

"Black Leader, any chance of giving us the signal?” I ask, voice grim at the loss of a comrade, firing at a couple of TIEs that have gotten too close to Jessika.

"Soon,“ Poe replies. I spot his black and orange X-Wing take out a number of TIEs, leaving him flying in open space. "Now!”

Our forces move closer together and further away from Poe’s X-Wing, bringing with us the TIE Fighters following us. We all work together as quickly as possible to take out as many of the First Order ships while luring them to the other side of the building. I circle back around, my X-Wing dangerously close to the ground as I blast the stormtroopers below us, trying to gain their attention as Poe flies further into the forest. I glance up before regrouping, checking to see that Poe is still flying alone, the S-Foils of his ship no longer locked in attack position.

"Poe, watch out!“ I shout into my mic, a moment too late as a stray TIE Fighter clips the wings of his X-Wing in an attempt to stop him. The TIE spirals out of control, crashing into the dense greenery.

"Looks like I’m gonna have to do an emergency landing.” Poe’s voice is gruff. I watch in horror from the relative safety of my own X-Wing as his descends dangerously into the forest.

"Black Leader?“ I call frantically as his ship disappears, plumes of smoke marking it’s position. "Poe? Poe!”

"Ivory Leader, what should we do?“ Someone in my squadron asks, uncertainty lacing their voice. I swallow thickly and take a deep breath, calming myself.

"Keep drawing those TIE Fighters away from Dameron. We’ve still got a job to do,” I order, voice sounded harsher than I intended. “Get yourselves back home the moment I tell you. I’m not risking any more of you.”

Ensuring there are no enemies on my tail, I fly in a steep curve around Poe’s crash site, my ship almost brushing the tops of the trees, ignoring questioning voices of my comrades.

"I’m your commanding officer, so _trust me_ ,“ I tell them as I spot a small, well hidden clearing a suitable distance away from the tower. "Now get back home.”

I quickly manoeuvre my spacecraft into the clearing, seeing my pilots hesitantly leaving the planet, wishing me luck over the comms.

"BB-09, stay here. Only leave if someone aside from myself or Poe finds you.“ I order my astromech as I leap out of my X-Wing, stripping off my bulky pilot gear, keeping with me a knife and a blaster before running in the direction of Poe’s X-Wing, hoping I’ll feel warmer on this frigid moon after the exercise.

The smoke billowing from the broken Starfighter makes it easy for me to find the man, but deep down I know it also makes it easier for the enemy troops. "This is such bantha fodder,” I grumble to myself, finding a trail of broken trees. “Stupid pilot just couldn’t be an asshole like I thought, could he? If he was, I wouldn’t be so dead set on helping him.”

Upon finding the wreckage, I immediately trip over something, hissing as I hit the frozen ground. I move quickly to my feet, but the thing I fell over keeps bumping into the back of my legs, beeping frantically.

"Oh, Maker.“ I murmur as BB-8 leads me to the Commander I’m looking for. Poe’s dragged himself out of the ship, but his head’s bleeding and he’s prodding at his ankle, his jaw clenched. BB-8 nudges him so very softly and the man spots me.

"What are you doing here?” He asks, eyes betraying his surprise at my sudden appearance.

"I’m getting you home,“ I tell him, crouching at his side. "Can you walk?”

"Tried that. Didn’t last long.“ He laughs weakly, wiping blood from his forehead. I offer him my hand, pulling him to his feet, quickly moving to support him.

"Think you can hobble?” I ask, and he chuckles. “BB-8, keep up, okay?”

As we distance ourselves from crash site, I find myself biting my lip, trying to think if I have anything to get Poe temporarily patched up back at my ship. He doesn’t make a sound, but he’s limping and his breathing is laboured. I watch his expression closely. He’s wincing, but seems entirely focussed on getting to where I’m taking him, trying to stay strong. It’s… admirable.

"You like what you see?“ Poe catches me staring, making a weak attempt to lighten the mood. I roll my eyes, sighing.

"Stop walking for a moment,” I tell him, guiding him to a convenient tree stump and setting him down. “How hard did you hit your head? And where else are you injured?”

"It’s really not that bad. It’s just a couple scratches-“ Poe’s breath hitches. He manages to spin around before throwing up the contents of his stomach. I rush forward, rubbing his back, BB-8 beeping in concern.

"You were saying?” I say dryly. Poe laughs weakly, wiping his mouth. I sigh again as he sits up, pulling out my knife and cutting off a strip of fabric from one of the sleeves of my jumpsuit. I push back Poe’s hair, revealing the cut, gently wiping away the blood on his forehead before putting pressure on the wound. “Well, we know you have a concussion, Mr. ‘it’s-really-not-that-bad’. Quick question, how much do you weigh?”

"You can’t be serious…“ I meet Poe’s eyes, slightly closer than I realised. He trails off, seeing the intensity of my gaze. "You’re serious. Oh, my _knight in vibrant coveralls_.”

"You are in no shape to be up and about,“ I tell him sternly, but cracking a small smile at his sarcastic comment as BB-8 agrees with me. "And if I can carry my astromech, I can at least try to carry you.”

Any protest from Poe dies as he resigns to becoming a human rucksack, grumbling as he keeps the rag pushed to his head as I walk back to my ship, BB-8 by my side. “It’s not that far now,” I tell him, another thought coming to mind. “And I swear, if you throw up on me, I’m leaving your ass behind.”

"I make no promises, doll.“ Poe laughs drowsily. Yeah, he’s _definitely_ concussed.

We walk in silence, Poe resting his head on top of mine and no longer gripping my shoulders as hard, giving me reason to think he might be falling asleep. Just as I think he’s dozed off, Poe pipes up. "Why’d you come for me?”

The question takes me by surprise and I take a moment to answer. “Because you’re a good person, Poe. You’re a valuable member of the Resistance,” Seeing as the guy’s only kind of lucid, I try to keep things simple. “Besides, what would we all be without the best pilot in the Resistance?” He snorts.

"C'mon, everyone in the Starfighter Corps knows you don’t believe that,“ Poe says, and I feel the seed of guilt beginning to sprout. "Not sure what I did to earn your distaste, though.”

I don’t reply, suddenly feeling like a very bad person. Even BB-8 isn’t looking at me.

Why… why _do_ I dislike Poe?

"I think,“ I start, voice quiet. "I think that I thought you were just some cocky flyboy, and I couldn’t understand why everyone held you in such high regard. Hell, most of my friends joined the Resistance because of your poster. I suppose after you helped me get a promotion, even after ignoring you in battle, my opinion started to change, but,” I pause, swallowing thickly, cheeks burning from embarrassment. “I guess I was just a little… envious? And I, uh, I suppose I still kind of am.”

Poe doesn’t respond, and I don’t blame him. I hadn’t realised just how much of an asshole I’ve been since arriving at base. This past month, even though we’ve been working together more, I’ve barely made an attempt to talk to him outside of the battlefield.

After that horrendously deep conversation, I almost weep when we arrive at my X-Wing. My back was beginning to ache, and the silence was slightly painful. Slowly, I set Poe down, BB-8 and BB-09 circling around him happily. I clamber into the cockpit, checking behind the seat for where I store emergency supplies. I pull out a flask of water and a couple energy bars. I check the first aid kit, swearing under my breath when I find it’s nearly empty.

"Hey, '09, why do we have sick bags?“ I ask the grey and white droid, holding up the brown bags from the kit to see. The astromech droid replies with a beep that could only be described as the verbal version of a shrug. Oh well, at least they’re coming in handy. I turn my attention to the comms of my X-Wing.

"This is Ivory Leader, reporting to base, do you copy?” I speak into my mic. No answer. “This is Ivory Leader, reporting to base, _do you copy_?”

"Y/N? Oh, Maker, we thought you were dead!“ In the background I hear people’s small cheers and sighs of relief, a smile crossing my face.

"Nah, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Did my pilots make it back alright?” I ask, worried for the safety of my friends.

"Everyone made it except for you, Poe Dameron, and Tift Anchor.“ I’m informed.

"I’m with Dameron now. He’s pretty banged up and in serious need of medical attention, though,” I tell them, glancing down at the said pilot. My head snaps in the direction of an explosion in the distance. With a heavy heart, I recognise it as being where Blue Two’s ship went down. “I-I’m afraid Tift’s gone.”

"Damn…“ I hear the sigh of disappointment. "Can you make it back?”

"Should be able to, but not right away, I think. The First Order’s on high alert right now, and it’s not advisable to send someone to collect us,“ I say, gazing at the tower in the distance. "Have the medics ready at a moment’s notice, though. I’ll try to speak with you again soon.”

"Will do. Good luck, Captain L/N.“ With that, the line goes dead. I collect myself, gathering the resources from my ship.

"Hey, have these,” I drop down beside Poe, handing him the food, water and sick bags. “You should keep sipping the water, but only start eating once your stomach has settled.”

"Thanks,“ He accepts the rations, but quickly notices how I’ve kept nothing for myself. "What about you?”

"You need it more than I do. Besides, there’s still something I need to attend to.“ I tell him, shrugging. He stares at me, speechless.

I glance over my shoulder, in the direction of the First Order outpost. I bite my lip, torn between finishing the mission and getting Poe home safely.

"BB-8, '09, watch out for Poe,” I come to a decision, stripping myself of the very noticeable orange jumpsuit. Left in a tank top, leggings and boots, I grit my teeth as the cold bites as my bare arms, I hand Poe the bright article of clothing and my blaster. Frost crunches underfoot. “I’ll be back as soon as possible. You seem to have lost your blaster, and the coveralls are yours if you get cold or need to stop the bleeding or something.”

"Hey, Y/N,“ Poe stops me as I begin to jog off. "Thanks. For everything.”

"Just doing what I can for the best pilot in the Resistance.“ I flash him a smile before running in the direction of the tower.


	4. IV

My breath catches as another explosion goes off, this time in the direction of the wreckage of Poe's X-Wing. I pick up the pace, weaving between frost covered trees.

I slide to a stop and duck behind a crate, glancing around the corner at the numerous stormtroopers in the area. I creep around, doing my best to stay hidden as I survey the entrance. I move my hand to my hip only to find my holster empty. I look around for something else I could use, seeing as the knife probably won't be helpful against the armour of these brainwashed soldiers. I come to the realisation that I won't be able to complete Poe's mission if I try to fight my way through.

I snatch a thick rope from atop one of the crates littered around, spying a lone trooper by a convenient patch of foliage. Giving the troops a large berth, I slowly approach my chosen stormtrooper. Coming up from behind, stalking through the unkept bracken, I pause, listening and looking, uncoiling the rope. I stand, hooking the rope around the trooper's neck and pulling them down and out of view, choking the life out of them.

"Stop squirming and die like a soldier." I growl, tugging harder as their hands desperately pat the floor, searching for the weapon they dropped. Eventually they go limp, their silvery armour glinting in the slowly dying light. I look around, checking my surroundings for prying eyes before pulling the trooper out of sight.

I waste no time stripping the trooper of their iconic armour and their shirt. I spare the woman's once hidden face one look, her skin going cold and blue and her eyes bloodshot. I'll save the guilt for later.

Once I'm sure the body won't be found for a while, pushed out of the way and buried in the greenery, I stand straight, a new blaster in my hands and an expressionless mask covering my face.

"Captain Plasmium, both X-Wings have been destroyed. The first pilot has been confirmed dead, but the body of the second pilot was missing." A stormtrooper reports to me when I reveal myself.

"Search the are. Check on the other side of the outpost. They may have fled there." I say, voice as condescending as I can manage. "Report to me your findings later."

"Will do, Captain." They salute to me before jogging with their comrades in the opposite direction of where I had hidden my X-Wing, a breath of relief escaping me.

I enter the building, marching ahead, praying to whatever is watching over me to guide me on the right path. I'm instinctively taking turns through the maze of corridors when a stormtrooper approaches me.

"Captain, only one patient remains for physical examination in the medical bay before transfer." They tell me. I nod in acknowledgment, hopefully hiding how I have no idea what they're talking about.

"Who?" I question them.

"FN-2187." They say. I find myself frowning, though it's hidden by the helmet. That's not a name.

"Very well," I'm taken aback by information flickering to life on the inside of the helmet visor. I quickly take advantage, eyes skimming over the data. "Prepare your unit, FN-2180."

I begin walking again, now far more confused than I was before. What was that? The moment I had focused on the stormtrooper, I was given their profile on the First Order database. Maybe this is the stormtrooper equivalent of a datapad? Maybe it was a specific request from this 'Captain Plasmium'. Would make sense, since it doesn't really seem as though these uniforms have pockets.

I freeze as a familiar frantic beeping and the sound of heavy footsteps fill the silence. I turn, seeing my droid screeching as it approaches me at full speed, a number of stormtroopers hot on it's tail.

"Halt!" I order. The stormtroopers are confused, but obey nonetheless. I spurt the first story that comes to mind, hoping none of these troops can understand the BB-Unit. "This droid has been reprogrammed. There is no need to be chasing it down when there are more important matters to attend to."

The troopers stare at me. I can't see their faces, but I think they probably look dumbfounded. I'm scared for a moment, thinking for a moment that they do not believe me. "I _said_ , there are _more important matters to attend to_." I reiterate, voice harsh, hoping to convince them, though undeniably I'm on a slight power trip, the stormtroopers heeding my every beck and call. I look down at the droid figuratively cowering at my feet. Muttering, I speak to my friend. "Keep up, BB-09."

I turn on my heel, walking confidently down the hall, my astromech hesitantly following. I turn into one of the first rooms I find, my cover almost blown.

"I told you not to follow me!" I whisper angrily to my droid, pulling off the slightly metallic helmet once I'm sure the room is clear of any First Order personnel. I sigh, crouching down as BB-09 recognises me, beeping as it bumps into my shins affectionally. It realises what I said, and whirrs and whistles defensively.

I put back on the stormtrooper helmet as I stand up. Looking around the room again, I realise I'm in an infirmary. Huh. The Force really does work in mysterious ways.

"Sorry, Captain. The examiner had to get something. My physical examination has not yet been completed." An unrecognisable voice tells me. Looks like I'm not alone after all.

"FN-2187," I say, the helmet identifying the Stormtrooper. They nod. "I take it they should be back soon?" They nod again.

I decide to risk it. Opening drawers, I find various medical supplies. Ignoring the enemy behind me, I take only what I need, hiding bandages and an ankle support sock on my person.

"What are you doing?" The stormtrooper questions. I whip my head around, glaring at them though not saying a word. "S-sorry, Captain, but why do you need those?"

"A friend of mine is injured." I say, keeping details to a minimum.

"What happened?" The stormtrooper asks softly. Strange. I'd never imagined a _stormtrooper_ to have such compassion.

"He was in an accident, and that's all you need to know." I say firmly, bringing the conversation to a swift end. I pack up, ready to leave.

"They keep the disinfectant in the cabinet." He tells me after a moment of hesitant silence. I open up one of the cabinets and, sure enough, there are bottles of various disinfectants and pills. Swiftly, I stash away a bottle in BB-09's spare compartment while also taking a pack of nausea meds. I'm at the door when he speaks up again.

"I hope he heals well." I'm shocked by a strange feeling of _purity_ coming from this soldier. He's not even a solider - his profile says he works sanitation. I pause, trusting my instincts.

"I feel as though there is greatness in your future, so if you favour your life, keep your head down and obey your orders. But... thank you, FN-2187," I'm surprised by my own voice, not expecting to say something like that. I turn my head to look at the young man, taking a risk before getting out of dodge. "May the force be with you."

I walk briskly along the corridors, twisting and turning before I find where I had come from. Checking nobody is around me, I quickly duck down in the patch of bracken from before, met by the frozen face of the real Captain Plasmium. I quickly replace her uniform, taking the stolen supplies with me, but not before I tear off the helmet, looking inside to find, as I suspected, a small tablet connected to the helmet visor.

"Hey, '09, I need you to get a read on the data from this helmet. Extract anything about Hoth or any upcoming attacks on the Resistance, okay?" I tell my droid, my voice low. I tear the datapad from inside the silvery helmet. BB-09 quickly sets to work. I wait anxiously in the cold, not longer protected by the stormtrooper garb, the light from the bloodied orange sunset setting the clouds on fire, my main source of light fast fading. Seconds turn into minutes. Each minute seems to drag on longer. I can hear my heart pound as I hear footsteps coming from the main entrance. BB-09 gives me a signal telling me that it's done.

As we escape into the forest surrounding the First Order outpost, the sun has dipped below the horizon, taking with it the last of the light. A stormtrooper shouts and takes a shot in the dark, but it only manages to brush my side, burning through my shirt and singeing the flesh beneath. An inevitable cry of pain escapes me, but I push on.

I run, sharp branches scratching my skin, prodding painfully at the blaster wound, my medical supplies safe in my grip. BB-09 follows, utilising all it's functions to keep up and navigate the troublesome terrain.

"Poe! Poe, where are you?" I whisper as loudly as I dare as I stumble into the clearing that hides my X-Wing. He sticks his head up out of the cockpit, BB-8 nestled impossibly in the small space behind the seat. For now, I ignore the burning question of just how they managed to get in there, instead practically vaulting in once retrieving the disinfectant from my droid. I shove Poe over to make space for myself, the fit being uncomfortably tight.

Rather carelessly, and without warning, I splash disinfectant on the gash on Poe's forehead. He hisses, face scrunched up in displeasure and the cut begins to bleed again, but he doesn't complain as I hastily dress the wound and force him to put the support sock on his swollen ankle. He doesn't hesitate to take the nausea pills from me, either. I manage to pull out my empty first aid kit and tuck the remaining supplies inside, short on time as I hear the alarms still ringing in the distance, hyperaware of how Poe is drifting off again.

The whole time I'm anxiously glancing in the direction of the tower, concerned by the faint sounds First Order activity. I look back, ensuring I have BB-09 in the back of the X-Wing before I shove on another helmet. This one is comfortable though, this one feels like home, and feels so unlike the sterile stormtrooper helmet.

Frantically, I prepare the X-Wing for a rushed takeoff, my heart in my mouth as I see lights peeking through the depths of the forest, as I hear voices shouting to one another. Concealed by the darkness, my X-Wing takes off into the frigid night, leaving behind us the numerous stormtroopers scouring the moon for us. It's a small miracle that no enemy ship followed us.

"We're almost home." I murmur to Poe as my ship makes the jump into hyperspace.

The adrenaline is wearing off now, and I take deep breaths to help myself ignore the burning pain from the blaster, choosing to watch the stars rush by us. As we approach D'Qar, I find myself going over the events that just occurred. I'm not trained in reconnaissance missions - I'm just a regular pilot - but I'd say that that would've been considered a success by even a professional. A proud smile curls across my face at the thought.

"This is Ivory Leader, preparing for landing. You might want to get that medical team ready." I say into my mic, not waiting to see if anyone heard.

I touchdown as a group of medics rush out of the base, carrying a stretcher and being followed by a small number of curious onlookers. I pull myself out of the aircraft, slowly helping Poe out too. His arm slung around my shoulder as he leans on me for support, we stumble towards help. Poe is taken from me by one of the medics, being replaced by Jessika at my side, a soft smile of disbelief on her face.

"We thought you were gone." She says, giving me a quick hug. I wince as she makes contact with the abrasion on my side, but I hug her back anyway.

"It did seem that way for a minute, didn't it?" I give her a lopsided smile. She looks me up and down, an eyebrow quirked at my ragged appearance. I point my thumb over my shoulder. "Uh, help me get BB-8 out of the X-Wing?"

Together we make quick work of it, but even with the extra help I feel like I'm about to pass out. Maker, when was the last time I'd got some rest?

"Hey, Y/N?" Jessika says quietly. "Thanks for getting him back. Poe's a good friend of ours, and our squadron wouldn't be the same without him."

"It's no problem, really." I reply honestly, basically dead on my feet at this point. "Thanks for helping me with the droid, by the way. I think I should get going now, though. I need to deliver some information to General Organa, not to mention I need to get _this_ " I gesture to blaster wound. "sorted out."

"Blast it, Y/N! Why didn't you go with Poe?" Jessika looks over the wound, her brow furrowed in worry.

"He's in worse shape than I am, and I still have a job to do." I tell my fellow pilot. The BB-units take this as the cue to join me as I begin the walk towards to Command Centre. I look like hell, and I get my fair share of shocked looks in passing.

"General Organa, could I have a moment?" I call out, leaning against the doorframe. I'm probably interrupting a small meeting.

"Captain Y/N? Shouldn't you be in the medical bay?" The General Organa questions my appearance, concern etched on her features.

"Probably, but I have information regarding the mission," I tell her, flashing a smile. I nod at my droid. "Go ahead, '09."

The grey and white BB-unit rolls forward, connecting to one of the computer systems. A stream of data appears on the holopad, and I catch glimpses of codewords and names of various planets. The high ranked officials no longer look mildly frustrated by my interruption, nor do they look concerned by my appearance. Instead they're looking upon the information stolen from the First Order with awe.

"How did you get this?" The General asks, not looking away from the holopad.

"I broke into the First Order outpost. I'd killed one of the stormtroopers and taken their uniform, and it turned out that the holopad attached to the inside of the helmet belonged to someone by the name of 'Captain Plasmium'," I give the short version of the story. "Figured since Poe was in no condition to complete the mission, I might as well. I couldn't just let Tift die in vain."

"Thank you. This information truly is invaluable," General Organa smiles at me kindly. "Now go and get yourself checked over at the Medbay. I can't have one of the the Resistance's best members immobile for long."

I grin at her words. BB-09 lets out a string of beeps, talking with the General in detail about the outpost. I leave the astromech to it's own devices. I reach the top of the stairs that lead to the control room to find BB-8 and Jessika ready to whisk me away for medical attention, quickly leading me through the mostly-sleeping base to where I need to be.

I'm out like a light the moment I'm set down on one of the cots.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are gonna be slow over the next couple weeks. I'm weighed down with exams lol sorry guys

The process of waking up is slow, very slow. Not yet with the energy to open my eyes and vanquish any wandering thoughts, I instead curl in on myself further, the warmth of the sheets comforting, my mind barely noticing the beeps of machines and quiet murmurs in the room. My breathing is slow.

The urge to try and fall back asleep is strong. I wriggle, repositioning myself on the hard bed when I am reminded of the blaster wound I suffered. Almost unmoving, I crack open my eyes, glancing down hopelessly in the direction of my torso as I gingerly brush my fingers over the bandages. If I press hard enough, I can almost feel the raw, charred skin dashed across the side of my ribs.

The voices quieten and I hear footsteps leading away from my bedside. I take a minute, mentally preparing myself to actually move and face the day. I roll onto my other side to see Poe in the cot besides mine.

"Morning." I mumble, eyes still half lidded from sleep, drooping and fluttering shut.

"Afternoon, actually," He tells me, a small chuckle following his words. I hum in acknowledgment, a ghost of a smile touching my lips and my eyes shutting again, not quite willing to leave the depths of sleep. "It's good to see you up."

"How're you feeling?" I murmur, forcing my eyes open more, my head resting on my arm like a pillow.

"I'm fine. I woke up about half an hour ago. Doctors insist on making me stay for today, though," Poe tells me, sitting propped up against some actual pillows. "You didn't tell me you got shot. How are you?"

"It's barely a scratch." I notice him shaking his head at me lightly.

"General Organa came to see you, wanted to thank you for getting the information and getting us back alive," Poe nods towards to orange jumpsuit on the table besides my bed. "She also dropped off a new uniform, since yours was ruined."

I offer him a small smile before sighing and settling back down in the bed. I deserve the sleep.

"You ever gonna get up?" Poe grins at me, a brow quirked.

"'M comfy." I mumble, voice muffled by my arm. I open my eyes a touch and grin back at him. He laughs.

A few minutes pass in comfortable silence. I'm drifting off again, but much to my dismay, a small thought begins to nag at the back of my mind.

"Y'know, nobody has to know that it was me doing the saving," I speak up, quickly catching Poe's attention. I'm almost bitter at myself for suggesting this. "We could pretend it was you. I know how much your reputation matters." Poe stares at me, slightly slack-jawed. He regains himself, and moves his attention elsewhere.

"Thanks." Is his one word reply. I hum in response, closing my eyes again. My return to sleep is cut short by my stomach rumbling.

I huff as I throw off my covers and sit up, swinging my legs off the side of the bed. I barely notice that I'm only in my leggings from yesterday and my sports bra, my torso mostly covered by bandages. I quickly pull on my uniform and shoes as a doctor notices me.

"You want anything?" I ask Poe over my shoulder as the doctor grants me permission to leave.

"Nah. There probably isn't much left anyway." He says, and a glance at the clock tells me lunch was a couple hours ago. Oh well.

Aside from a handle of people conversing in their free time, the Food Hall is empty. One of the many chefs sees me as I approach the counter.

"You wouldn't happen to have any left overs, would you?" I ask, smiling sheepishly as I ignore the gnawing hunger. They sigh, but bring out a bowl of some kind of cooked grain with a russet coloured curried sauce on top and a small roll of bread.

"I'm afraid that's all that's left." They tell me.

"Thank you, but could I get another bowl and spoon?" I ask. They seem curious, but don't ask questions as they give the objects to me. I quickly split the curried grain into equal portions. Flashing the chef a smile, I leave. "Thanks."

Much to my relief, I don't bump into anyone I know on the trip. I enter the Medbay to find Poe bickering with one of the nurses, trying to weasel his way into being discharged.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I brought food." I speak up. The nurse shoots me a thankful look and hurries off. Poe eyes the bowls, and I hear his stomach grumble. I laugh, handing him one of the dishes and the loaf of bread.

"Thanks, but what about you?" He says, trying to give me back the bread.

"Your injuries are worse than mine. Keep it." I refuse.

"You haven't eaten since we left for the mission. You deserve the bread." Poe argues.

"I have food now though! You need it more than me." I retort.

The bickering goes back and forth, both of us taking bites of the cooked grain while the other is speaking, until somebody takes the bread from Poe's hand and tears it in two.

"I could hear you two from down the hall." Jessika rolls her eyes at us, handing us each a piece of the loaf. I pout as I stare at my piece of bread, deliberating whether or not to just throw it at Poe. Eventually, I swallow my pride along with the food.

"Thanks for helping me last night." I tell Jessika, referencing how she helped me with BB-8 and got me to the Medbay.

"No problem," She says, shrugging. "How are you two feeling?"

"Fine." Poe and I say in unison. Jess raises her brows, stifling her laughter.

"Good. The General has a message for you." Right on cue, General Organa walks in. Jess nods at the older woman before taking her leave.

"Firstly, thank you both for your deeds yesterday. We will still need your reports on the event, but for now your droids have informed us of your actions," A subtle smirk crosses the woman's face. "Thanks to the risks you took, we now know where the First Order are planning their next attack."

Poe and I exchange a look, sitting up a little straighter, our empty bowls set aside. The General looks me in the eye, with what seems to be a hint of pity.

"You're familiar with the planet Pamarthe?" General Organa says, directed at Poe. My breath catches, and I quickly avert my gaze from both my higher ups.

"Yeah. We've got a few pilots from there, right?" Poe nods, a frown appearing on his face.

"The information that Y/N stole from the First Order tells us that that is where they are planning their next attack, set for a weeks' time." General Organa informs us, glancing in my direction. I swallow thickly.

"I'll go," I volunteer, standing up. "I know the other Pamarthen pilots will want to go, too."

"Thank you, Captain L/N. I was hoping you would volunteer," General Organa smiles at me. "I want you to gather a small group of volunteers to go to Pamarthe tomorrow. We do not know if the First Order will change their plans, so it would be best to be prepared."

"Yes, General. We'll leave first thing in the morning, once I've finished my report for the last mission." I tell her.

"It would be best for you to also send daily updates on the situation there. Another squadron will join you closer to the attack date," General Organa informs me. The older woman smiles softly at me, putting a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. Sometimes I forget the stories telling of the planet Alderaan. "May the force be with you, Y/N."

She leaves. I take a deep breath before I too leave, knowing I have to do my duty, a seed of courage blooming inside me.

The following morning, I arrive shortly before the rest of the pilots I'm taking with me to Pamarthe. As BB-09 beeps at me reassuringly, I call the attention of my comrades, standing on a small crate and shouting out to them. There's only six of us, but six is all we need to keep our people safe while staying on the lowdown.

"I just quickly want to thank you all for volunteering on such short notice," I call out, beginning my mini-speech. "This is the first time most of us are returning after many years, and I understand that it isn't on the best terms. We may be going back, but don't let your guard down. Know where your teammates are, where your blasters are, where your _ships_ are relative to you at all times, because these are what will help us defend our home planet, and I trust that if anyone can defend our homes, it's you. This being said, I do want you all to enjoy the time we have on Pamarthe. You all deserve it."

The small crowd disperses, whooping as they pump themselves up for the mission at hand, clapping each other on the back, saluting back at me. I hop down for the crate, smiling at the actions of my pilots, when somebody catches my eyes.

"Shouldn't you be in the Medbay?" I grin, walking over to them, my helmet propped up between my arm and my hip.

"They just let me go. Figured I'd see you off." Poe chuckles, smiling down at me.

"Thanks. Don't want you pushing yourself too far though," I joke, noticing how the man is avoiding putting weight on his bad ankle. BB-8 beeps and whistles to me, and I squat down to it's level. "And _thank you too_ , buddy. Make sure Poe doesn't get into any more trouble for me, won't you?" The droid whirrs, amused but agreeable.

"Hey, if you need any help out there, give me a shout. I've got your back." Poe grabs my arm as I turn to leave, his voice showing how serious he is.

"I know you do," I smile softly at him. "And I hope you know it goes both ways."

"Yeah. You've proven that," Poe laughs breathily. "Good luck out there. I'll see you soon."

"See you around, Dameron." I say, walking away as he lets go of my wrist, stepping out into the early morning light. I beckon for BB-09 to follow me before waving goodbye over my shoulder to the pilot.

"So, what was that?" I'm asked by one of my pilots over the comms once we're up in the air.

"What was what?" I reply.

"That _moment_ with _Poe_ down there." I can practically hear the grin in their voice. I laugh.

"Nothing. He was just sending us off." I tell them.

"And by ' _us_ ', you mean ' _you_ '?" Another cuts in, giggling. I sigh, shaking my head at the comments of my team fondly.

"Just focus on the mission at hand, guys." I say, a smile on my face. The lightness in my voice is enough to tell them I'm not angry, though.

"Everyone ready?" I ask into my mic, the pilots responding affirmative. "Good. Preparing for the jump to hyperspace."


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a bit carried away and stuff i guess lol ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"It's still peaceful here. There's been no sign of First Order activity since we arrived, but with the attack scheduled for tomorrow, I'm worried," I tell the General through the holopad. "The locals seem to have gotten used to us being here, though. I've told you how they were kind of suspicious of us at first, but I think now all of the pilots have reunited with their families, people trust us."

"Stay on high alert, Captain. There's no knowing what the First Order may do," The woman tells me. I nod, preparing to shut off the connection. "But, Y/N, have you met with your family?"

I'm taken aback by the question and look away as I try to answer. "I-I..." I sigh, guilty. "No. I haven't. I've... tried to avoid them these past couple days."

"Take my advice and find them before the battle. You never know when they might be gone." General Organa's words are heavy and hold hidden truths. I tell her I will, and with that end the message.

I step out of the Resistance tent pitched on a small hill overlooking the village we're staying in on Pamarthe. An old friend of me notices me finally emerge and makes her way over.

"We still in the clear?" Niyele asks, hand on her hips.

"It looks like it. The rest of the Resistance is ready at a moments notice, though." I tell her. She sighs, running a hand through her dark, curly hair. We walk down the hill in silence, the weight of the upcoming attack on our minds.

It was nice being back after so long. I didn't realise that I actually missed the dark rocks and crashing waves of Pamarthe. I'm not surprised my parents settled down here after moving around so much.

"Y/N! I sailed around the island by myself!" I turn as the little girl shouts, hurtling towards me. Keipii almost crashes right into me, catching herself.

"All by yourself? You really are brave!" The Pamarthen girl grins, her eyes twinkling as she bounces on the balls of her feet, her mass of wavy black hair windswept. I crouch down to her level and poke her playfully in her belly, making her giggle. "We'll make a fine pilot of you yet."

"I _did_ have a _little_ bit of help from my dad..." She admits, rocking back and forth and she tries to hide her embarrassed blush.

"Everyone needs help sometimes. That's why we fly in squadrons, after all." I smile at her reassuringly, standing back up. I spot Chertan talking with his parents and wave at him. He spots me and ends the conversation, jogging over.

"What are you doing?" Niyele whispers angrily at me, frantically pulling her hair back into a bun on the top of her head. I roll my eyes at her. She sees my smirk and glares. "What?"

"Any updates, Captain?" Chertan asks me, not paying attention to my friend.

"No, but I want everyone on high alert. I'm happy they're enjoying themselves, but break's over and I want everyone to be able to take off the second we need them," I tell my teammate, who nods in acknowledgment. I cast a sideways look at Niyele before continuing. "Go tell everyone else, and take Niyele with you. She needs to make more friends anyway, and I have something I need to attend to."

Chertan shrugs and gestures for Niyele to follow him. She trails behind, glancing back at me, her dark skin tinted red. I smile after them, before turning and walking in the other direction, the seven-year-old at my heels.

"Niyele likes him. She's so _obvious_ ," Keipii pouts, seemingly unamused. I snort at the girl's bluntness. "She's not even gonna see him again unless she joins the Resistance like the rest of us."

"Oh? And when are you joining?" I raise an eyebrow at the young girl.

"The moment I'm able to!" She grins, before looking at her feet shyly. "I wanna be like you..."

"I have a feeling you'll be better than I've ever been." I smile fondly at Keipii.

"But you've been around the galaxy countless times! You lived on Coruscant before coming here, so you're a top pilot, too, _and_ you're a Captain in the Resistance!" The tanned girl groans, throwing her head back as she talks.

"I mean, you're not wrong, but how do you even know that? We only met a week ago." I laugh, mildly confused. She avoids my gaze.

"Uhh... where are we going?" Kaipii changes the subject quickly, looking around our surroundings.

"Well, I'm going to see my parents. _You_ , young missus, are going home for now." I tell her, leaning over to get to her height. She pouts at this, but her disappointment dissolves as I boop her nose. The Pamarthen girl giggles before agreeing to go home. I watch her run off just to make sure she's okay before continuing on to my parent's house. As I walk, I notice my pilots have changed into their flight suits as I had ordered. Good.

I walk slowly, trying to figure out what I'll say to my parents after all this time. My father will understand. He might even defend me. My mother, on the other hand... Maker, I'd rather take on a fleet of TIE Fighters that deal with her lecturing.

My stomach drops as I hear a familiar whirring high above me, followed by an explosion in the distance. Oh, _God_.

They're early.

I should have kept my damn mouth shut.

I sprint to my X-Wing, all prior thoughts thrown aside. I run faster as BB-09 finds me, my fellow pilots all doing the same mad dash as I am.

"This is Ivory Leader, do you read me?" I speak over the comms as I take to the air. Damn it. I knew I had a bad feeling about this.

"What's happening over there?" Someone back at base quickly responds, concern lacing their voice.

"It looks like the First Order likes to be early." I growl, already chasing TIE Fighters.

"Sending backup now." They inform me. It's a relieving piece of news, but we're not in the clear yet.

"How's everyone holding up?" I ask my ragtag squadron of Pamarthens. Everyone answers with 'okay' and 'fine'. "Keep them off the village. Reinforcements will be here soon."

I push aside the unusual nerves, instead focussing on destroying as many TIE Fighters as possible. I capture the attention of as many enemy pilots as possible, luring them into the trap.

"Captain, you've got five TIEs on you." One of the pilots tells me nervously.

"I know; that's the _plan_." I reply shortly. With TIEs following close behind, I nosedive towards the crashing waters of the Pamarthen ocean. I take a deep breath and hold it as the rough waves come ever closer, eyes half lidded as I trust my instincts, blocking out the fearful calls of my teammates. At the last possible moment, I straighten out, the bottom of the wings almost clipping the salty waters below. I loop back up as the TIE Fighters fail to change direction in time, resulting in them plummeting beneath the waves and crashing against the jagged black rocks below. The fifth TIE realises what is happening and narrowly avoids the fate that the others had, but I'm behind them and shooting before they can do anything.

"Well, I'll be damned." I can almost hear Chertan shaking his head at the risk I took as those who saw whoop. A proud smile curls across my face.

Some flyboy in his TIE starts to follow me, quickly receiving backup from one of the others in the fleet as I draw them into the ever erupting geyser field just outside the village. I weave the X-Wing in between the spouts of water, not wasting time as I gracefully exit the rocky field, leaving the wrecks of the two TIEs to be tossed through the air on the powerful jets of water.

"How nice of you to join the party." I grin, spotting our reinforcements speeding across the water.

"Better late than never, right?" Poe replies, his black and orange X-Wing soaring past and truly showing off just _who_ he is.

I find myself flying close by to the man as we keep an eye out for each other, making quick work of any Fighters that we can't shake off ourselves. Of course, I do plenty of the work myself.

"Oh, _shit_ ," I say aloud as two First Order Assault Landers come into sight, protected by a number of TIE Fighters. "The villagers won't be able to protect themselves against all those Stormtroopers. We _cannot_ let them reach the ground."

On my command, half of our forces focussing their fire on the TIEs, shooting at the Assault Landers through chinks in the armour when possible.

In a wordless agreement, I fire my missiles at the closer Assault Lander the moment the number of escorts thin out. My missiles hit the general area in which the ship's engine is located, whilst Poe's hits the bottom of the front of the ship. The grey First Order transport ship smokes, falling out of the sky and hitting the black rocks below, bursting into angry flames.

The other Lander takes advantage of the destruction and our momentary distraction, landing just inside the village. Soldiers clad in white armour rush out and take cover, preparing for attack. A few brave villagers reveal themselves, valiantly fighting against the Troopers. They're trying their damnedest, but it's not a fair fight.

"Let's even the odds a little," I murmur, taking down another TIE as I begin to descend. I speak up. "Someone cover me for a moment."

"Hey, what are you doin-" I don't hear the end of Poe's sentence as the second my X-Wing has touched down, I leap out, helmet cast aside, blaster in hand as I swerve around the corner and into the thick of the land based fight.

There's fire and death on the wind. Loose hair whips around my face as bodies fall all around me. I spare a glance to the sky, watching the black and orange X-Wing twirling through the air, shooting down any TIE that dares come close.

Two Stormtroopers crumple to the ground, dead by my hand as I duck behind the cover where the other Pamarthen fighters are.

"Get the younglings and elderly out of here. Anyone who is willing to fight can join me." I order them. Two women and one of the men nod, running in the direction of the larger family homes. The other five watch me, readying their weapons. I look over to the other side of the street to see another four villagers waiting my order. A hum alerts to another Assault Lander setting down. How many of these faceless soldiers are left?

The wreckage of a TIE Fighter crashes in the street, skidding by the alley I'm hiding in. I take that as our cue, stepping out and opening fire.

Hiding behind fallen rubble from the buildings that lined the street, myself and the villagers do our best to hold off the oncoming attackers. I shoot at a couple of Troopers before ducking back down, back against the stone and breathing heavy. Starfighters watch over us from the air.

"Heads up!" I yell, spotting a slightly charred Trooper - must have dragged itself from the TIE wreckage - sneaking up behind one of the men. I fire before the Stormtrooper can do any damage. The man look in my direction and nods in thanks. My heart almost stops as I look him in the eyes.

"Go! I can hold them off!" I shout over the noise of the battle. A young couple beside me exchange a look, debating whether or not to stay. I make the choice for them, shoving them away from the fight, urging them to run. I watch the remaining three follow soon after them.

I volt over my cover, approaching the two Landers. A Stormtrooper grabs me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides as they wrap their arms around my torso. One of his comrades comes over to shoot me, but he comes to close. I kick him back with both my feet as I'm held up by the one behind me. He trips backwards and I slam my foot into the knee of the Trooper holding me. I hear the snap above the noise of the fighting. He cries out and falls, and I'm quick to shoot them both while they're down. I duck into another alley, realising that the Stormtrooper numbers have thinned out considerably. Though, I suppose the same could be said for my side.

The orange jumpsuit just makes me stick out like a sore thumb, but I can't ditch it completely. I quickly unzip it, shrugging it off my shoulders and tying the sleeves around my waist, leaving my arms freer to move. I glance down at the corpse closest to me and spot a belt of small bombs adorning the white armour. I snatch one and peer around the corner to check my target.

I run out into the middle of the street and as close as I deem safe to the nearest Assault Lander as possible. I activate the bomb and lob it into the open carrier ship, quickly turning to fire at the three troopers just in the entrance of the other ship. I see one of them wearing another of the ammunition belts, and I make sure to hit it.

I crouch, covering my face with my arms as the ships explode. Scrap metal and fire rains down around me, roaring. Hesitant, I stand slowly, facing the flaming wrecks. Holy _shit_.

I make the mistake of thinking all the Stormtroopers in this area are gone, as I come face to face with a white-and-black-clad hand when I turn around. I stumble, lip split, and trip over rubble, falling back and slamming against the hard, rocky ground. The Stormtrooper pins my hands above my head with one hand and holds a blaster to my temple with the other, preventing my movement by straddling me.

"And here I thought all Stormtroopers were supposed to shoot first, ask question later," I spit my words, glaring daggers at solider. The metallic taste of blood drips into my mouth. "At least buy me dinner first."

Someone shoots the Stormtrooper, but only hits one of his arms. Suddenly able to move my limbs again, I slam my head against his helmet, taking him by surprise. I seize the opportunity to shove the Trooper off me, ignoring my throbbing skull. Without my blaster, I improvise, slamming my boot against the soldier's barely exposed neck. The _crack_ is all I need to hear.

And then there was silence. Silence. The only sound I hear is the sound of my breathing and the crackling flames.

"I told you to go." I say, picking my discarded and scratched blaster.

"I didn't go far." A man says to me. I sigh, forcing myself to look at him. I go to speak, but the words catch in my throat and I struggle to get them out.

"Thank you, dad." I smile weakly. He mirrors my look as we stand amongst the smouldering rubble off the ruined street, the sudden silence almost deafening.

A blaster bolt whizzes by me and I hear a muffle groan behind me. I barely have time to look back and see the First Order soldier fall before I'm practically tackled by someone in an orange pilot suit.

"The hell were you thinking?" Poe grips my shoulders, leaning down slightly to look at me at eye level. His brows are furrowed and his stare is intense. His gaze flickers across my face, from my cut lip to my aching forehead. I wince as he brushes the pad of his thumb over a cut I wasn't even aware I had. He speaks more softly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"It's nothing." I tell him, shrugging him off and dismissing my injuries. I begin to walk away when I spot villagers and pilots peering around the corners of buildings. I hesitate, looking back at my father for guidance.

"You put on quite a show." It's Poe who speaks instead, explaining their presence.

"Everyone else is at the east road out of here." My dad tells me. The adrenaline is wearing off and I'm made aware of the aching and stinging all over my body. I swallow thickly, taking a deep breath, preparing to face the distraught villagers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poe dameron is Not That Tall but i am so y'all are just gonna have to pretend he's like. taller.


	7. VII

In front of me is all that remains. Looking around, it doesn’t seem like we lost too many people, but the crying younglings and shattered fighters all huddled together tell a different story. I arrive, and the figures are whispered in my ear. 3 pilots dead. 11 villagers dead. Many injured. I ignore the ache in my chest for now, hurting for the people I knew but are now gone.

I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the glass of over of the X-Wings. My clothes are dirty, the orange of my overalls stained with soot. My tied back hair is messy and loose. My arms are littered with scratches and bruises. Blood is dried on my lip, dribbling down my chin. I’m losing blood from a cut on my forehead, trickling down the side of my face. There’s a small bump forming from where I head-butted the Stormtrooper. I look war-torn.

"We don’t have any reason to think that the First Order will continue this attack, but we should still keep this quick.“ Poe murmurs to me, leaning forward. He stands just behind me and too my left, with my father next to him and to my right.

"Captain, what should we do?” One of my pilots speaks up, catching the attention of everyone in the area. I look back at Poe, but instead of taking charge he nods for me to answer.

"I’m sorry for what has happened to you, but you are not yet safe,“ I begin. Some people weep. A few glare at me, blaming me for the chaos. "You have some options. We can relocate you elsewhere on the planet. We could relocate you to another planet entirely. Or, if you so wish after today’s fight, you could come with us and join the Resistance. It is entirely your choice, however, and whatever you decide to do, even if it’s not what I’ve mentioned, we will do our best to support you.”

"There are carrier ships on their way now. We’ll be leaving first thing in the morning,“ Poe adds. "I need all the pilots in the command tent now. Anyone interested in joining the rebellion is welcome to come with.”

Poe rests his hand just below my shoulder blades as he guides me away from the crowd, almost as though he’s fearful I’m going to break. Someone cries out my name, and I turn to see Keipii tear through the crowd of people. I fall to my knees and open my arms as she throws herself at me, sobbing. I rub her back as she clings to me and people watch with pity in their eyes.

"C'mon, I need to go.“ I murmur, but the youngling shows no signs of letting go. Sighing, I stand up, hoisting her up and carrying her with me despite my tired muscles. I notice most of the pilots and villagers that fought have left, but Poe stands waiting for me, mildly confused by the occurrence.

I almost laugh at the sight of the Resistance tents still standing, bitter at the thought that they survived while the village did not. In silence, I walk onwards between Poe and my father, Keipii propped up on hip as she rests her head on my shoulder, her arms wrapped around my neck.

"Let’s get that check out.” Poe looks at the cut on my forehead, guiding me to a seat by the table. I sit as Poe pulls up another two chairs, putting on opposite me and one next to me. I set the newly-orphaned girl down on the one next to me, but she continues to grip my hand. People slowly trickle into the tent as Poe attends to my injuries, almost mirroring my actions from a week ago.

"Excuse me, but I want to thank the pilot that saved the lives of my husband and daughter.“ Someone says as they enter. I sigh, standing up as Poe finishes bandaging the small cut.

"Do you have any way of knowing who you’re looking for?” I ask, leaning on the large table in the center of the tent. I look up, freezing as I recognise the woman that spoke.

"They were in the black and orange ship. Who are they?“ They tell me, not breaking eye contact.

"Commander Dameron. Best pilot in the Resistance.” I tell her. Poe takes his place besides me and introduces himself.

"Thank you. My daughter doesn’t realise that her place is not here, and I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to her,“ The woman tells him before turning her attention back to me. "Y/N, please… _come back_. You should be with your family at home, not risking your life like _this_. You don’t belong in a war.”

"Unfortunately, that’s not your choice to make, _mother_.“ I glare at her.

"You could have died out there! You shouldn’t be fighting like this, it’s not right!” She protests. The people gathered in the tent watch, shocked and made slightly uncomfortable by the family argument.

"I’d rather die fighting than sit back as the First Order seizes control of the galaxy through mindless slaughter.“ I snap, quickly losing my patience.

"I am your mother, and you should listen to me. If we all just stopped fighting, there wouldn’t be anymore death. You had to be _saved_ out there, so stop being stubborn and just come _home_. I just want you safe.” My mother pleads with me. I narrow my eyes, shaking my head.

"My home hasn’t been with you for a long time,“ I tell her bitterly. "I haven’t called this place ‘home’ since I joined the Resistance.”

The silence is tense and uncomfortable as I stare down my mother. She looks shocked, speechless.

It’s Poe who speaks up first.

"With all due respect, ma'am, your daughter didn’t _need_ saving out there,“ I take a small step back as Poe addresses my mother, and I notice Poe subtly position himself in front of me, even if it’s just a bit, almost protective. "She was handling herself just fine out there. I didn’t save her. In fact, she’s saved me more times than I’ve even had the chance to help her out. She’s proven herself capable of doing recon work under harsh conditions, and she’s possibly the best pilot we’ve got. There’s a good reason General Organa considers her one of the Resistance’s most valuable members.”

I stare at Poe, my mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. I regain my composure as Poe straightens up, folding his arms.

"If you have nothing useful to tell us, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,“ He tells the woman. Poe exchanges a look with my dad, who then escorts my mother out of the tent. There’s a moment of silence when Poe scans the room, checking to see if everyone’s present before continuing. "Red Squadron, you’ll escort anyone that wants to go stay on Pamarthe to the town two settlements over. Blue and Azure Squadrons, you’re with me. We’ll be taking anyone who wants to leave the planet. The Ivory Squadron will be taking any recruits back to base. You’ll be led by Y/N.”

"What about us?“ One of the villagers asks.

"You’re all interested in the Resistance, right?” Poe questions. The Pamarthen villagers around the tent nod. “Then you’ll be heading with Y/N back to base. That’s all for now. Get ready to go tomorrow morning. You’re dismissed.”

Everyone filters out of the makeshift command room. I roll my eyes as some of my closer friends giggle at me, whispering as they go. Keipii takes my hand, looking curiously at Poe. Once everyone has gone, she pats his arm to get his attention.

"Y/N said that you’re the best pilot, but then you said she was. Why?“ She ask him. Poe raises a brow, chuckling.

"Well, she could give me a run for my money, doncha think?” He grins at the little girl, crouching down to her height. She nods, returning the smile.

"Keipii, where did you cut yourself?“ I frown, noticing the blood on her clothes. She drops her gaze to the floor.

"It’s not my blood.” She murmurs. I sigh, picking her back up.

"You’re a tough kid. You’ll make your family proud.“ Poe offers, patting her on the back.

"C'mon, we still need to find who’s staying on Pamarthe. Is there anyone you think you can stay with?” I ask Keipii as I leave the tent.

"What? I’m going with you! You can’t make me stay here!“ Keipii pushes herself away from me furiously, hurt showing in her eyes.

"Keipii, a Resistance base is no place for a youngling. You can’t. I’m sorry.” I tell her, taken aback by her outburst.

"I told you I want to join! I have nobody left here!“ She shouts at me, tearing up.

"Keipii, please,” I say softly, reaching out for her. She shoves me away, running down the hill as her tears begin to spill. Shocked, I don’t chase after her, instead sitting down where I stand to try and process what just happened.

BB-09 rolls over to me, beeping angrily about how I left them in the X-Wing. “I didn’t leave you. You could have just followed me, you know,” I say almost monotonously, staring in the direction Keipii ran off in. Concerned by my behaviour, '09 inquires why I’m like this. I sigh. “I’m just… a little overwhelmed.”

"She’s just feeling lost right now. She’ll come round,“ A familiar voice says. I look up to see Poe looking down at me. BB-8 whistles in agreement as the man takes a seat next to me on the hill. "She’s just lost her parents. She’s scared and she trusts you. She’ll understand.”

"Maybe.“ I mumble, watch the sun begin to set.

"Speaking of parents, how come your mom acted like that?” Poe asks me, and I actually laugh.

"I’m not actually from Pamarthe, I just lived here for a couple years before joining the Resistance,“ I explain. "My dad’s from Coruscant, where I was born. It can get pretty rowdy there, so he understands my actions. My mother, though… She’s from Naboo. She get’s pretty paranoid, and thus takes that whole 'peaceful’ stereotype to another level.” I turn my head and smile at Poe. “So, thanks for sticking up for me back there. I know it wasn’t pleasant.”

"No problem. My parents were both in the Rebellion, and I grew up on Yavin 4, so I guess I forget what it can look like to outsiders.“ Poe tells me. I hum in agreement. I suppose it could look unreasonable to those who haven’t experienced what the First Order does.

We sit in a peaceful silence, just watching the sun set over the horizon, the sky slowly fading from blue, to orange, to red, to indigo.

"Come on, we’ve got a little girl to find,” Poe stands up, offering me his hand. I accept it, and he pulls me to my feet. He grins cheekily at me. “Besides, you should probably get your X-Wing from the obscure place you left it.”


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA GIRL'S JUST FINISHED HER EXAMS SO Y'KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS AND ALSO IT'S COLD AS ALL HELL ATM (you know what's unnecessary? Waking up to -5 degrees celsius) BUT THE SUNRISES HAVE BEEN P LIT LMAO. anyway this is the most 'meh' chapter so far tbh sorry about that but i just kinda wanted to move stuff along and so we just have to trudge through the boring stuff. sorry.

The sun spills over the horizon, casting an orange glow over the villagers waiting to board the carrier ships, a chill in the air as we avoid thinking of yesterday's losses.

"Those who wish to stay here on Pamarthe, please join the Red Squadron over there. Those who are leaving the planet report to Commander Dameron. Anyone wishing to join the Resistance will be with me." I order. The villagers shuffle around, sorting themselves into small groups. As the handful of people staying on Pamarthe begin to board the ship, I feel a tug on my uniform. Looking down I see Keipii.

"Will I see you again?" The young girl asks, frowning. I crouch down to her height, smiling softly.

"Of course. I'm sorry you have to stay here, but it's for the best, and I promise I'll visit often." I tell her. She nods, hesitating before throwing her arms around me. I return the embrace, and watch the Pamarthen girl head towards one of the carrier ships when we separate, her bag of belongings secure on her back. I turn, someone calling my name behind me.

"I'm joining the Resistance. Not as a soldier or anything," Niyele tells me, puffing her cheeks out slightly in determination. "But I'm still joining. I'm going to be a medic."

"That's great! It'll be nice to see you around base," I say, having taken a moment to recover from the slightly surprising news. She grins at me and I look over her shoulder to see the small crowd. "These my recruits?"

"Yeah, but it looks like everyone still here is coming with us." I raise a brow at Poe's words, Niyele scurrying away when she catches sight of him.

"What d'you mean?" I ask, looking at the number of villagers gathered. I glance in the direction of the carriers. Those who wish to relocate elsewhere on Pamarthe are few in numbers and all fit on one carrier with no hassle, and I watch as they take to the air, guarded by the Red Squadron.

"They all either wanted to be in the Resistance or be near it," Poe explains, eyes on the ships flying away. He pauses. "Your parents wanted to be close to you."

My gaze flickers to Poe as I take a moment to think about it. He catches my eye and flashes me a smile before turning his attention back to the crowd.

Though it takes a little longer to load all of the villagers onto the remaining carriers, we're soon making the jump to hyperspace, arriving in the Ileenium system. Our fleet of ships in tight formation quickly approach the green planet of D'Qar, easily avoiding the planetary ring that circles it.

The base is teeming with personnel as we touch down, all eager to see the result of the mission. Amongst them is General Organa, and I smile and salute at her when she looks in my direction. While the pilots all greet the crowd that has gathered, the survivors from Pamarthe are lead away by some higher ranked officials that had been informed of the situation. With my helmet under my arm and BB-09 by my side, I jog over to General Organa. My teammates notice my actions and follow suit.

"It's good to see you all. You did well out there." The General tells us, her hands clasped behind her back.

"Just doing our job," I reply, shrugging with a smile on my face. "I'll have the report ready by this evening, General."

"That's good to hear, Commander L/N," The General returns my smile, a twinkle in her eye as she sees my mouth fall open in surprise. "And with this promotion, I think you deserve a break. You've been constantly working despite your injuries."

"I-I don't need a break, ma'am, really. Pamarthe was pretty much a vacation, right? I'm sure there's somebody else that would deserve the break." I stumble over my words, completely taken aback by the sudden promotion. Not only is it a promotion, but I've just completely _skipped_ an _entire rank_. It wasn't even that long ago I was promoted to _Captain_.

"It was your squadron's idea, actually. They agreed to split your work amongst them," My teammates in the Ivory squadron laugh, beaming as I stare at them in shock. I guess they wanted a distraction from those we lost yesterday, and thought this was the best way to do it. Once they settle, General Organa continues, looking at something behind me, confusion on her face. "Who's that?"

"Who's wh-" I begin, turning around to see what she's looking at. Out of my X-Wing is climbing a youngling. The girl freezes when she realises all eyes are on her, and so she waves sheepishly.

Poe starts howling with laughter.

"What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay on Pamarthe!" I demand an answer. Keipii averts her eyes, suddenly finding her shoes very interesting. Poe is almost doubled over, finding the whole thing hilarious. I glare at him out of the corner of my eye, paying no mind to the curious murmurs that have broken out. " _How_ did you even manage to smuggle yourself in there?"

"I got Niyele to distract you and then hid behind your seat. BB-09 helped me up." The Pamarthen girl admits. I narrow my eyes at the droid who is quick to remove itself from the situation, whistling as it refuses to look at me.

"And what were you to do if I crashed?" I question, completely ignoring everyone else at this point.

"You're probably the best pilot in the Resistance. You _wouldn't_." Keipii argues, crossing her arms proudly. I shake my head, exasperated and frustrated.

"A Resistance base is no place for a child. I've told you this!" My voice raises at the end, but the girl doesn't flinch.

"So what? My parents are now _dead_ because of the First Order! You're the person I trust the most to protect me!" She shouts at me, now angry and ready to defend herself, her eyes glazing over with unshed tears. I find I don't have the words to respond to this, guilt lacing my conscience. When she sees I'm not replying, and that a hush has fallen over the crowd, she continues to speak, taking rushed steps towards me. "So whether you like it or not, I'm _staying_."

Keipii clings to me, and I return the gesture as I address the General. "I'm sorry about this, ma'am. She hung around with me a lot this past week, and after what happened to her parents, I guess she thought it was best to stay with me," I explain to the General and our audience. I continue with a heavy heart. "I'll... I'll take her back as soon as possible." General Organa regards me silently for a moment, her expression not giving anything away.

"Well, you heard the girl. Whether you like it or not, she's staying." The General cracks a smile, and once again, I'm speechless. Keipii quickly releases me, darting over to my higher-up and taking her hands.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! My name is Keipii, and I promise when I'm old enough, I'll help the Resistance, too! I'll be the best pilot, just like Y/N!" The young girl says excitedly. When she recognises the woman, she gasps, cutting herself off. "Wow, you're _the_ Leia Organa, aren't you? I've heard stories about you."

"Yes, I am," General Organa laughs as everyone watches, dumbfounded. "So, you want to be a pilot? Just like Commander L/N?" Keipii nods vigorously.

"Yes, and I _know_ she's the best pilot because I saw her do all sorts of impossible-looking stuff when she was fighting, and she's the best commander because she joined the people of my village fighting on the ground," I smile sheepishly as Keipii rambles on, singing my praise. "Plus, Poe said she was the best pilot yesterday, and he's also a commander and a pilot, so he _must_ be right."

"I said she could give me a run for my money." Poe corrects, but his chuckle shows he's mostly joking around.

"Oh, don't be so cocky, poster boy." I say, elbowing him gently.

"Poster boy?" He repeats, amused. I roll my eyes while my friends snicker.

"Poe, since Y/N needs to also look after this young lady now, you'll be taking some of her workload while we get this settled," General Organa says, watching us fondly. "Y/N, you'll be taking a short holiday with Keipii in two days time. That's all for now. You're dismissed." The woman nods decisively, taking her leave.

Poe speaks up once the General is out of earshot. "Why do I get your work?"

"Wow, complaining already? And after you made yourself sound so capable as 'the best pilot in the Resistance'." I tease.

"I am capable." He shrugs. I roll my eyes at him again, those who are lingering around snickering at the exchange.

We just stand around in silence for a few minutes as everyone leaves us, watching Keipii take in all the sights of the base, a welcome distraction from prior events.

"Really though, you deserve this break." Poe speaks up eventually, and I look at him curiously.

"Just don't strain yourself while I'm gone." I say, referring to the injuries he received last week. He laughs lightly.

"I could say the same for you." He grins at me, reminding me of the scrapes I got yesterday.

"Touché." I reply, smiling. We fall back into the silence, but for now it's a comfortable one, the stress of the days gone by at the back of our minds.


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is 'good-naturedly' a word.
> 
> ALSO I HIT FUCKING POST LIMIT ON TUMBLR SO SORRY EVERYONE WHO READS THIS EXCLUSIVELY ON MY TUMBLR GFDI YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW

"Hey, have you seen Keipii? She wasn't in her room this morning." I ask people in passing. After a while of wandering the halls of the base and receiving nothing but shakes of heads, somebody points me in the direction of the Food Hall. Of course.

I jog lightly towards the room, slightly antsy. General Organa had requested to see me before we left, and we're beginning to run late. I pause in the doorway of the Food Hall, looking around the room in search of the young girl. Small groups of people are still littered around the room, sitting at tables and chatting with other late risers. I spot the Pamarthen girl talking animatedly with a group of pilots. I pause for a moment, watching as she drags Poe, Jess, and a few of my other friends into her dramatic retelling of whatever it is.

"There you are! I've been looking for you," I say, approaching the table. Poe turns and shushes me, nodding inconspicuously at Keipii.

"And then after they destroyed the bad guy ship, she landed to help out on the ground! I got caught up in, uh, other things, but the other villagers told me about how she fought alongside them, and that she was the support they needed," Keipii finishes her story, standing on the bench with her hands proudly on her hips and still facing away from me. I raise an eyebrow at Poe, who chuckles and whispers something to the little girl. Keipii whips around, her eyes wide when she sees me. "Oh, uh, hi?"

"Sounded like quite the story you were telling there." I say, grinning as she timidly rubs her arm, caught in the act.

"It-it was about you." She admits, looking away.

"I kinda figured," I reply, ruffling her hair. "C'mon, it's time to go. The General wants to see us before we leave."

"I left my stuff by your bag. Did you see it?" Keipii asks, jumping down from the bench.

"Yeah, it's all packed." I answer, before quickly addressing my friends still at the table. "Thanks for looking out for her."

"It's no problem. She's fun to look after." Jess tells me, waving it off.

"Well, I guess I should see my favourite pilot off." Poe says, getting up from his seat. I quirk a brow.

" _You're_ your favourite pilot." I say, my arms crossed as I look at him in slight disbelief. He shrugs.

"I don't know, Keipii seems to have taken that place." Poe grins at me slightly lopsidedly before catching up with the aforementioned girl. I roll my eyes as I follow them to the hangar.

"Commander Y/L/N, I take it you're ready to go?" General Organa calls to me once we reach the hangar. Poe looks at me over his shoulder before guiding Keipii to my X-Wing, giving me a moment to talk with the General.

"Yes," I reply. "And I promise we'll only be gone a week, maximum." To this, the General raises her brows.

"You'll be gone a week, _minimum_. You may not be her biological mother, but you're Keipii's guardian now. You need time to bond," General Organa tells me, stern. It's a reminder of her past. "Besides, there's an event I want you and Keipii to attend while you are away. I feel as though you follow the Resistance with almost blind faith, and while I know that you know why you are here, Keipii has not been exposed to the stories of the Rebellion the way you have. This festival of sorts will be of benefit to you both."

"That's why you were so insistent on us going to Yavin 4?" I question. Beforehand, General Organa had been rather vague as to why she wanted us to go to this moon in particular.

"That, and I had a _feeling_ ," The General smiles at me, subtly reminding me of just who she is descended from, of just how force-sensitive she really is. The woman nods in the direction of my X-Wing. "You'll be staying with an old friend of the Rebellion while you're there. Now, go. Those two are waiting for you."

I thank her for her time, turning and making my way over to my ship. I walk slowly, a fond smile slipping onto my face as I watch Poe help Keipii up into the X-Wing. Even when she almost kicks him in the face, he laughs good-naturedly. Once she's in, she pokes her head over the side and sticks her tongue out, giggling at him.

"You ready to go?" I ask the young girl.

"Yep. See you soon, Poe!" Keipii grins down at Poe and waves before ducking back down in the ship.

"See you soon, kiddo," Poe smiles in her direction before turning to me with a mischievous look on his face. "You need a leg up too?"

"Oh, _har har_." I roll my eyes once again, softly punching Poe's arm.

"Just joking." He laughs. I shove him lightly before hoisting myself up into the cockpit of the X-Wing.

"I know. See you in a week, _poster boy_." I drawl, my elbow propped up on the edge of the ship, resting my head in my palm.

"Is that a thing now?" Poe jokes about the new nickname, but I just simply smile in response. "I'll take that as a yes, then. See you soon, Y/N."

From the back, BB-09 loudly whirrs and beeps for us to _hurry up_. With our bags stashed behind the seat and Keipii beside me in the confined space, I wave goodbye before taking to the skies.

During the Galactic Civil War, Yavin 4 was home to the Rebel Alliance headquarters. These headquarters were based in the Great Temple of Massassi, built by a race called the Massassi, a species that had been extinct for a long time before the war. After the Battle of Yavin, however, the headquarters were moved to Hoth. Once the war had finished, however, a small colony was formed on Yavin 4, many of the settlers being former Rebel Alliance members or Alderaanian survivors. This is the brief history lesson I give Keipii on the way to our destination.

I follow the coordinates given to me, leading us to a small town located in one of the many forests that cover the planet. When I set the X-Wing down in the allocated landing space, a few curious locals venture out to see what's happening. I suppose a relatively small community like this wouldn't get much traffic.

"Who are you?" A kid asks, his dark eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N. I'm a pilot in the Resistance." I introduce myself. At this, the boy perks up considerably, apparently trusting my occupation.

"And what brings a young X-Wing pilot such as yourself to a settlement like ours?" A middle aged woman inquires, approaching us.

"I was sent here by General Organa. I'm looking for a man named Kes? She didn't tell me his surname, though..." I trail off as the woman's eyes widen at either my explaination, the sudden appearance of Keipii, or both.

"Oh! I know who you're talking about. This must be a grandchild he didn't know about, which would make you his daughter-in-law, no? Funny, I would have expected you to share his surname, or at least for his son to _tell_ us about something like this." The woman smiles brightly at Keipii and I as she ponders my choice of name and my relationship with _whoever_ Kes’s son is.

"What? No, no, I don't - _we_ don't even know who Kes _is_ ," I stumble over my words slightly, thoroughly confused. "The General just sent us here for some time off, saying we'd be staying with 'an old friend of the Rebellion'. Sorry if I caused any confusion. Keipii's parent's aren't exactly even- uh," I quickly cut myself off from talking about the sore topic. "And, um, I-I'm not dating or married to anyone."

The woman regards my rambling with amusement, trying to conceal her laughter. I quieten down, kind of embarrassed. BB-09, now stopped at my feet, laughs at me through various beeps.

"Please, I'm sorry for making such assumptions. We have quite a tight-knit community here, so I jumped to conclusions. Besides, the girl has a, ah, _similar_ appearance to Kes's son." The older woman apologises, smiling softly at me.

"No, it's fine, really. I, uh, I'm sure it was probably a reasonable assumption to make. I mean, I have no idea who Kes or his son is, but I'm sure... you're right?" I laugh awkwardly, not sure what direction I wanted my sentence to go.

"Seeing as you came here in an X-Wing, you probably do know him, but I'll save you the embarrassment," The woman says, a twinkle in her eye as I smile sheepishly, Keipii laughing alongside '09 as they watch the situation unfold. "My name's Tia. Come, I'll take you to Kes's place."

We walk in silence for a few minutes as I take in the scenery. Yavin 4 is the fourth moon of the giant gas planet Yavin, and I can see why it's so often called the Jungle Moon.

"For an ace pilot and a commander, that wasn't very smooth." Keipii teases me, my droid beeping in agreement.

"Thanks for the moral support." I say sarcastically. The girl's giggles don't cease.

"You're a commander and a pilot?" Tia asks, glancing back at me. "Yes, I'm sure you know Kes's son."

"I can't know unless you give me a name." I grumble under my breath, the names of my coworkers flashing through my mind. I internally hit myself for not remembering where any of them comes from.

"That would ruin all the fun, though." Tia grins back at me, stopping at a house at the edge of the settlement at knocking on the door. A man with tanned skin and dark hair opens the door, smiling when he sees my temporary escort.

"Tia, what bring you here?" He asks, catching sight of me, Keipii, and BB-09 standing behind the woman. "Oh. I assume you're the people that Leia told me about. Please, come in."

I thank Tia as I walk past, entering the small home. I feel almost like I'm intruding. My host and Tia chat for a moment before she leaves and the man, Kes, I'm assuming, turns to me.

"You must be Y/N Y/L/N. I'm Kes," He holds out his hand to shake, smiling warmly - almost familiarly - at me. I return the smile, firmly shaking his hand as I introduce myself and my companions. Kes continues. "I'd tell you my full name, but the Princess - your General - told me not to."

Huh. I wonder why.


	10. X

The rest of the day is simply spent settling in by Keipii and I. BB-09 quickly makes itself comfortable at a charging station. When Kes mentions a spare room, I'm quick to force Keipii to take it while I take the couch. She protests at first, but as soon as she sees the decor of the old children's room, she agrees.

Looks like whoever the room used to belong to really loved the idea of piloting.

"My wife and I fought in the Rebellion. She was a pilot, and our son must have just inherited that." Kes tells me when I bring up the room. I guess that also explains how he knew General Organa. Leia to him, I suppose. Maybe I could do some digging on that, figure out what the 'feeling' the General had means.

The second day, I begin my self-set assignment.

"You mentioned you fought in the Rebellion. That's how you know General Organa, right?" I ask nonchalantly as we leave the small house, taking a quick walk around the Yavin 4 forest.

"My wife worked closely with her on a mission to Naboo. She almost died that day," Kes sounds bittersweet about it all. "She also went with Luke Skywalker on her final mission; got given a tree as thanks." Something about the man's expression tells me that tree is something a bit more special than that.

"She went on missions with the General and Luke Skywalker?" I exclaim, prior goals out of mind. "Woah, I could only imagine what that would be like."

"Well, she came close to death both times." Kes chuckles.

"Comes with the job though, doesn't it?" I say. Kes nods, a vague smile on his face. Keipii takes this chance to steal the conversation away.

The third day I have slightly better luck.

"So, what's it like being a Commander under Princess Leia? I was a Sergeant, and my wife was Lieutenant Shara Bey. We didn't rank as high as you." Kes asks me one morning, watching me over the rim of the mug he's drinking from. Shara Bey, huh? I'll have to look her up later.

"Oh, I mean, being a Commander isn't too different from being a regular solider, I guess. People listen to you, though," I laugh. "General Organa is a good boss. She's been in this game for a long time, and she knows just how to play it. It certainly helps minimise casualties, and I have no doubt she'd go out to fight alongside us if she was still as young as she used to be. She also understands our personal struggles, which is a plus. I'm grateful for someone like her."

"I'd have to agree with you," Kes takes another sip of his drink. "What's the base like nowadays?"

"I'm not sure what it was like when you were still serving, but it's probably similar. Y'know, a never-emptied control room, an always occupied Medbay, countless droids roaming the halls. Soldiers congratulating one another on a victory or consoling someone about a loss. The never ending bragging from the pilots," I grin as the last sentence passes my lips. "It's usually Poe that wins these bragging matches, but I'd say I rival his achievements."

"Arguing over who’s the better pilot is, like, a _thing_ around base," Keipii speaks up as she enters the kitchen, rubbing early morning sleep from her eyes. "I've only been there two days and I've heard a _bazillion_ people talking about it."

"And what do you have to say?" Kes asks the girl, an amused smile on his face and a mischievous look in his eyes. It's a strangely familiar expression.

"Y/N, _duh_ ," I grin proudly at Keipii's declaration. "But Poe is pretty awesome too. He's really fun to play with."

"Poe's a Commander. He's also considered the best pilot in the Resistance, but, I mean, that's up in the air." I explain, but a feeling in the pit of my stomach is telling me that I don't need to explain this.

 _But he's an attractive, talented,_ arrogant _pilot nonetheless_ , I think, taking a sip from the mug in my hand. Huh, I've never put it that way before.

Keipii laughs, distracting me from my thoughts.

"What?" I ask as the girl snorts at me.

"I've never heard you call him _attractive_ before." Keipii giggles. I take a breath. Did I say that aloud?

"Well, it's not like he _isn't_ ," I save myself, downing the small remainder of my drink, ignoring the eyes of Kes and Keipii. "It's kind of unfair, to be honest."

That night, I'm quick to tap into the Resistance database through my datapad once my temporary housemates have gone to bed. _Shara Bey_. Fortunately enough, there's a file on her. I skim read over it, paying minimum attention to her mission history.

 _Aha_ , family details. I go to expand this area of information. Kes's name flickers on the datapad, and I barely get the chance to catch a glimpse before a message appears, telling me that access has been (temporarily) denied.

Still, I could have sworn I saw that Kes's surname is...

Never mind. If this is how General Organa wants to play it, then I might as well play along. Or at least, that's what I tell myself as I banish my suspicions to the back of my mind.

I spend the fourth day in town, Kes having offered to take Keipii and BB-09 off my hands for the day. It's a quaint little village with a small market place at it's centre. It's here I run into Tia again.

"It's nice to see you again. How long did you say you were staying for?" Tia asks, taking a place beside me as we walk through the busy town centre.

"I'm not sure. The General wanted me to stay at least until after a festival, I think she said it was?" I reply.

"Oh, yes. In three days we're celebrating the end of the first Galactic Civil War," Tia explains. That clears some things up at least. "It's quite enjoyable, really. People take turns telling stories of their adventures over the years, and the younger children are told about the Rebel Alliance and, since it's formation, the Resistance. In the evening, we hold a small party. You should attend; I'm sure your daughter would enjoy it."

"Thanks. General Organa didn't really explain what it was about," I tell the woman, before addressing the topic of my 'daughter'. Again. "Uh, Keipii isn't my daughter though. I'm just her, uh, carer?"

"Right, sorry. I forgot for a moment," Tia looks at me from the corner of her eye. "It's an easy mistake to make, though. It's a small settlement, and there _have_ been rumours."

"What kind of rumours?" I ask, frowning. Despite my question, I can _feel_ the answer in my heart.

"Well, people assumed she was your daughter right from the get go. When everyone found out you were staying with Kes, well, it was only natural we assumed Keipii was his granddaughter," Tia keeps her head facing forward, though she continues to watch me. I'm quiet, thoughts racing, but any obvious reasoning pushed far away. "I take it he still hasn't told you who his son is?"

The look on my face must be all she needs, because the older woman sighs.

"Well then. It's not my place to ruin this little game the Princess and Kes have going, but..." Tia trails off, readjusting her grip on the woven basket she carries. She inhales before audibly exhaling. "Tell me about your friends back home."

"Oh, uh, well, we have the pilots in my squadron. Hyadum, Jenn, Chertan. They, and myself, are all that remain of the Ivory Squadron. The other two, Biham and Graves, died a few days ago," My tones is bitter, thinking of the friends I lost on Pamarthe. "But at least they got to go out together, y'know? Biham and Graves loved each other, they relied on each other, and not everyone has the chance to die at the same time as their loved ones. I mostly feel bad because I'd been distant from them for a bit before they died," I swallow thickly, moving on. "Hyadum and Jenn have kind of been dancing around their feelings for each other for a while. The loss of our friends has brought them together, though, which is a silver lining, I suppose."

"Recently an old friend of mine, Niyele, joined the Resistance as a medic. She's sweet and bashful, but I suppose she also has quite a rebellious, unpredictable side, too. She's got a pretty obvious thing for Chertan," I chuckle, thinking of how she's doing back at the base. "There's also the other pilots. The Azure squadron joined us at the main base recently, which was a nice surprise, since I went through training with them. I'm pretty close with Jessika. She's in the Red Squadron and a pretty good pilot, too. Snap's okay, but I'm not overly close with him. Actually, come to think of it, I'm good with most of the pilots, I'm just not particularly close with anyone in the squadrons that Poe is in charge of."

"Oh, right, I almost forgot about him," I laugh sheepishly. "Poe's a Commander for the Resistance, and he's also a damn good pilot. I know Keipii brags about my skills, and I certainly won't _deny_ everything she says, but honestly? Poe probably is the better of the two of us, which is completely unfair, considering he's also popular and charismatic, he's smart, and he's _disgustingly_ good-looking." I pout, kicking a small rock to emphasise my rant, though I'm still careful not to kick it at anyone. I glance at Tia, who's watching me with raised brows and an expression of disbelief.

"You certainly sound a bit envious, but it also sounds like you admire him," Tia remarks. I narrow my eyes at her, unsure as to how to take that comment. "Oh, don't look at me like that," My gaze lingers for a second longer before I drag my suspicions away. A moment of silence passes. "Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I know you know of Kes's son is, and I know in my heart that _you_ know who it is."

I swallow thickly. I know she's right, but like hell am I going to admit that.

"So, why are you envious of this Poe fellow?" Tia questions. I could almost swear she sounds teasing.

"I just told you, didn't I?" I reply dryly. She laughs.

"I suppose. But still, we don't have much in terms of gossip here," The older woman's eyes twinkle. She suddenly stops walking. I realise we've stopped just up the road from Kes's house. I hadn’t even noticed we were going in this direction. "Ah, here we are! Well, it was nice talking to you. I'll see you at the festival, I assume? I do hope you tell the children some of your own stories."

"Oh, uh, yes, of course. I wouldn't miss it," I smile at Tia. "And thank you. I enjoyed our talk."

"As did I. I hope you take my words on board. See you soon," Tia grins at me, winking before briskly walking away. "Though I have reason to believe you'll see Kes's son sooner. My credits are on _tomorrow_."

Truth be told, the conversation leaves me with a feeling just as stubborn as I am. It refuses to leave, just the way as I refuse to admit who Kes's son is.


	11. XI

"Wake up, we have a guest coming over soon." Someone pokes my cheek, trying to get me to get up. I groan and roll over, nestling myself as far into the back of the sofa as possible. Keipii, however, is relentless.

"Fine. Give me a minute." I mumble, my eyes still squeezed shut as I pull my blanket up over my head. I hear her walk away, and slowly will myself to leave my cocoon of blankets and pillows.

I nip into the 'fresher, changing out of my sleepwear and into something more appropriate for walking around town. Kes's attention flickers to me as I join him and Keipii for breakfast in the kitchen.

"My son will staying with us for the next couple of days." The man says, taking another sip from his mug of caf. I falter momentarily, remembering what Tia had said to me yesterday.

"Oh, uh, that's nice. I look forward to meeting him." I say, forcing a smile as I drag my hand through my hair. Once again, I find myself pushing any potentially embarrassing deductions to the back of my mind.

We sit eating in silence when a knock on the door interrupts us. "I'll get it!" Keipii chirps, running over to open the door.

"Keipii, don't open the door to strangers." I call to her, but she's already gone. I sigh, getting up from the table and following the girl.

"Kei! What are you doing here?" The guest greets.

I stop.

I evaluate the situation.

I regret many of the things I have said.

"Poe!" Keipii hugs the kneeling pilot as I wallow in self-pity, my mind flashing back to everything I have mentioned about the man these past couple days. I had a _feeling_ Poe was Kes's son, but I clearly didn't want to _acknowledge_ that feeling.

I bottle up the scream of frustrated embarrassment that's building.

It just _had_ to be Poe, didn't it?

"Poe," I speak up, kind of wanting the ground to open up beneath me right now. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Y/N, so this is where the General sent you," Poe replies, doing a double take when he sees me. "Huh, I don't think I've ever seen you with your hair down. It looks good."

"Oh, uh, thanks," I shrug, toying with a lock of hair now that he's mentioned it. "I mean, I only just really woke up, and I'm on vacation, so there wasn't really a need for me to tie it up."

"You should wear it down more often." He tells me, flashing a charming smile. Before any more words can be exchanged, however, Kes joins us.

"It's been a while." The man says, embracing his son. Now that I've accepted it, I can see some resemblances. Same dark eyes. Same tan skin. Same dark hair, though Kes's is littered with silver strands. I bite the inside of my cheek as my gaze darts to Keipii. Tia had said that she shares some similarities with...

I shake my head, ignoring the thought.

"Oh, I said I'd visit Tia today," I speak up, the lie passing easily over my tongue. "It'd also give you two some time to catch up." I just want to complain to the woman, really. She seems like she'd laugh at the situation, but not in a _particularly_ cruel way.

"Aw, I wanted to play with Poe." Keipii pouts, crossing her arms indignantly. Poe laughs, ruffling the girl's hair.

"Why don't we visit the town while your mo- while Y/N visits her friend, hey?" Poe suggests. Keipii seems happy with this suggestion, happy enough to not notice Poe's stumble. I smile thankfully at him, choosing to ignore how he almost called me Keipii's mother.

It's something that's been happening a lot recently, isn't it?

I bid the Damerons a thank you and say a quick goodbye. I walk away normally from the house, but the moment it's out of sight I break into a sprint towards the market place, slowing down only when I literally run into the woman I'm looking for.

"Goodness, what's got you in such a rush?" Tia questions, frowning at me in concern. I gesture back towards to Dameron household, making a series of undecipherable sounds as I struggle to swallow my pride and tell her quite what's happened. It barely takes a moment for the older woman to realise what's happened as she bursts into hearty laughter. I rub my face with my palm, exasperated. "Right, come on. Let's talk this through somewhere more private."

Her house, it turns out, isn't far, and the motherly figure has quickly ushered me in and fixed me a drink, making me take a seat at the kitchen table.

"I take it you've met Kes's son?" Tia eyes me over the rim of her glass.

"I described Kes's son to Kes as being an 'attractive, talented, arrogant pilot'." I state, almost numb to the embarrassment at this point. Tia snorts at my misfortune, and I groan loudly, hitting my head against the table.

"I assume you don't want me to mention your little rant about Poe to him?" Tia says, a twinkle in her eyes. She's clearly enjoying this too much. I shoot her a warning look. "Alright, alright. I won't say a word."

"I think I could scream for a solid ten minutes and it still wouldn't be enough to get rid of this feeling." I grumble, leaning far back in my chair.

"On the bright side, Kes approves of you, should anything ever happen," I narrow my eyes at Tia's words, not liking what she's implying. "He's probably overjoyed, actually. After all, he was the one that convinced his wife to settle down with him here and leave the days of fighting for the Rebellion behind."

This little tidbit of information has peaked my curiosity, but I remind silent, mulling this whole thing over as I sip my drink.

"Anything else on your mind?" Tia inquires after a minute.

"Does it really look like I'm Keipii's mother?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I'm honestly surprised by myself. I falter, trying to continue. "Because- because a number of people now have made that mistake."

The small smile Tia gives me looks almost as though she pities me. She takes a moment to respond.

"Dear, I think you know the answer to that." Is all the woman has to say. I hesitate, deciding whether or not to tell her about Keipii's real parents.

Well, I suppose while I'm here, Tia's guidance is the closest to General Organa's as I'm gonna get.

"Her real parent's died just a week ago. She sort of followed me back. It's more like she adopted me than the other way around, really," I laugh dryly. "General Organa said that I'm her guardian now, but I have _no idea_ what I'm doing."

"I'm old enough to have seen my children grow up and leave, so trust in what I am going to say," Tia smiles softly at me. "I've seen how that little girl looks at you. She admires you greatly, and you both get along superbly. Every parent at some point has felt what you feel now, but I can almost guarantee that Keipii thinks the world of you, and I must say, I would have thought you knew better than I did when I was in your position." Tia rests her hand on mine reassuringly, like a mother would an older child. I find myself momentarily speechless.

"Thank you." I tell her honestly, this conversation about everything going on lifting a weight off my shoulders, even if the woman did pretty much nothing to console me about the whole Poe-is-Kes's-son thing. A smile slips onto the older woman's face, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Besides, I'm sure Poe would be happy to help you in taking care of her." Tia takes a sip from her mug, stifling a laugh as I groan.

"Thanks for hearing me out." I tell the woman, standing to leave, my drink finished.

"Anytime," Tia smiles at me, joining me. "I'll walk you back to town."

We walk in a comfortable silence, all words having already been said. The market today is busier than I've seen it so far during my stay, which reminds me of the upcoming festival. Already banners and bunting are being hung up, the residents of the town seeming even more cheerful than usual. Arriving at the market place, I take in the sight of many busy stalls, the members of this close knit community happily chatting to one another as they browse the variety of wares.

It's curious how easily I pick out Keipii's excited squeal from amongst the many other voices. I catch sight of her not far away in the bustling street, perched atop Poe's shoulders as they laugh at something together. Poe is preoccupied making smalltalk with one of the stall owners, but Keipii spots me in the crowd and waves vigorously before tapping the top of Poe's head, getting his attention. At some point, a fond smile has slipped onto my face at their interactions.

I push down the new, unfamiliar feeling I've gotten, quickly bidding goodbye to Tia, who regards me with a seemingly-knowing smile, before I head over to where my, uh... my _friends_ are.

Of course I didn't almost refer to them as my family. I mean, it's just a little girl and my comrade, right?

Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so /it/ begins


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so domestic and quaint omg

I awaken to the sound of muffled laughter in the kitchen. Every few moments, a giggle will be too much to contain, and it's always followed by a chuckle and a shushing sound. I haven't even opened my eyes yet and there is already a smile on my face.

"You'll wake her up." I recognise Poe's voice drifting from the kitchen. I can easily visualise the grin on his face.

" _You'll_ wake her up!" Keipii replies. Her voice is hushed but you can still hear the happiness in it. I stretch out as I stand, seeing the empty couch opposite mine where Poe had slept as I pad softly towards the adjacent room.

"Or maybe you _both'll_ wake me up," I speak up, leaning on the doorframe. Their heads whip towards me, caught red handed. Keipii smiles sheepishly at me, hiding something behind her back, glancing at Poe who is stood by the cooking unit. My nose catches up with my mind. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"We were making you breakfast." Poe explains, smiling at me as though it was the most expected thing in the galaxy. Keipii reveals the plate of food she had hidden behind her back.

"Why? Not that I'm complaining, but how come?" I question. I'm rather flattered, really, if not a bit curious.

"You deserve a break." Kei chirps in reply.

"I've already had almost a week long break." I say jokingly.

"Can't we do something nice for our favourite pilot?" Poe asks, feigning innocence.

"Aw, and all this time I though _you_ were your favourite pilot." I say sweetly, placing my hand over my heart as I play along.

"I thought _I_ was your favourite pilot." Keipii pouts, narrowing her eyes at Poe. The expression is enough to make me laugh.

"You're not a pilot yet. You're my favourite pilot-in-training." Poe reassures the young girl, ruffling her hair. I watch, a smile still on my face as Tia's words echo in my mind.

_"The girl has a similar appearance to Kes's son."_

Once again, I push those thoughts away.

I really need to get back to work. This vacation is messing with my mind.

"You're cooking?" Kes yawns as he walks in, watching the scene with slight amusement.

"Morning, Dad." Poe welcomes his father. The older man takes a seat at the table, Keipii taking this as the cue to sit down. Poe nudges me, a non-verbal suggestion for me to join everyone at the table. Poe takes a seat beside me once breakfast is served.

"So, the festival's tomorrow. Got any plans?" Kes asks. I assume this question is directed at Poe, seeing as I still don't know much about the tradition.

"Just the usual. The kids would probably like it if Y/N told a few stories, too," Poe answers, gaze flickering towards me momentarily. "We should go down to town and help set up."

Once we've agreed on a course of action for the day, we finish anything we've left to do in the house. When everyone's ready, dressed and fed, we stroll into the town centre. Kes leaves us, saying he had promised to help a friend out, leaving Poe, Kei, and myself to walk around the open air market, our BB units rolling around our feet.

The streets are still rather empty this early in the morning. I catch sight of an older woman struggling with a few crates, trying to balance them whilst also trying to look over the top, and I waste no time in deciding to help her. "Hey, I'll be right back." I mention to Poe. He nods at me in acknowledgment before returning to his conversation with Keipii.

Seeing as Keipii is engrossed in whatever story she's telling Poe, swinging their entwined hands, I'm reassured that he won't lose her. With this thought, I jog away from them and over to the woman. "Let me help you with that." I say, lifting two of the three boxes off of her pile.

"Oh, thank you. I could hardly see where I was going," I return the smile the rather short woman gives me. I follow her to her stall and set the boxes down on the counter. The women sets to rifling through the crate she was carrying, pulling out a simple necklace. She takes my hand and places the item of jewellery in my palm. "Here, for your troubles."

"Oh, no, I couldn't take this. I barely did anything for it." I protest, trying to hand the woman back her necklace.

"Then I'm sure you'll help me more in the future. I have a feeling you'll be coming here more often." The lady pushes my hand away as she gives me her cryptic message. I frown, trying to figure out just what she meant. Is _everyone_ on Yavin 4 like this?

"I almost forgot to mention, I'm Ana. You're Poe's girl, aren't you?" Ana says.

"I'm- what?" I fumble, taken slightly aback and still confused by her prior words. "Sorry, Poe and I aren't together. My name's Y/N."

"Oh? Well, whatever you say," The older woman winks at me before giving me a friendly shove in Poe and Keipii's direction. "Now go. They're waiting for you."

As I catch up with the pair, I study the necklace. It's a simple metal, and I find myself laughing when I realise the charm is a tiny X-Wing. I look up to the sky as I fasten the necklace around my neck, the blue obscured by the red planet of Yavin. I'm almost surprised when I see a Resistance carrier ship descending.

"Looks like everyone else has arrived." I turn my head, finding Poe standing beside me.

"Who is 'everyone else'?" I ask, noticing our astromech droids speeding off in the direction of where the ship landed.

"You didn't think I'm the only member of the Resistance from Yavin 4, did you?" Poe grins cheekily at me, nodding in the direction of the ship. "C'mon, let's go welcome them home."

A small crowd of relatives and close friends is gathered around the ship when we arrive. I recognise the handful of people that exit this ship from around the base, but don't feel as though I know them well enough to strike up a conversation. Poe on other hand, while I hang back, is already laughing with them. Keipii hesitates for a moment before joining Poe, who beckons me over.

Introductions are made and I'm quickly included in the conversation. Stella is a mechanic. Glynn is a nurse. Vera is a chef. There are others, too, but they live on different parts of the moon. It's impressive how quickly civilisation on Yavin 4 grew after the end of the war.

It's late evening when we return to the house. With the sun almost set, I step outside. The air is cooler now as I sit peacefully by a tree by the Dameron household. It's strange, though. This tree is so unlike the Massassi trees that cover so much of the moon.

"Interesting choice." I spin around as someone's voice interrupts the quiet.

"Huh?" It's piqued my curiosity.

"That tree was a gift to my mother from Luke Skywalker," Poe elaborates, sitting down next to me. "It's force sensitive."

"I had no idea. I've just been coming here the past couple of days because I liked it." I say, regarding the tree with a newfound awe.

"Maybe _you're_ force sensitive. You got something to tell me?" Poe jokes, lying back on the grass, his hands behind his head.

"Don't be ridiculous." I laugh, smacking him lightly. Poe laughs, and I smile.  
Despite how it's now dark, we stay here in comfortable silence. Poe sits up, biting his lip contemplatively.

"Hey, I wanna show you something," Poe stands, offering me his hand and pulling me to my feet. "You have you close your eyes, though." I raise a brow, but accept his offer anyway.

After a few minutes of Poe guiding me through the forest surrounding his home, I speak up. "Okay, where are you taking me, Dameron?"

"You'll see." Poe chuckles as I stumble over a fallen branch.

"Well, you're hands are still covering my eyes, so I'm not seeing _anything_ at the moment, Poster Boy." I retort. I hear him laugh.

We don't walk for much longer before we come to a stop. "Okay, you can open your eyes now." Poe murmurs, removing his hands. My eyes flutter open and I gasp at what I see.

Poe has taken me to a small clearing in the forest, bioluminescent orchids native to this moon decorating the area. I clasp my hands together, not quite able to find the words as I drink in the soft light of the flowers.

"What do you think?" Poe asks, watching me eagerly.

"It's beautiful." I whisper. I kneel on the forest floor, completely in awe of the native flora.

"I found this place when I was a kid. Thought you'd like it." The pilot says, sitting beside me. My eyes dart toward him, heart fluttering as he watches me with a soft smile and kind eyes. He doesn't say anything more, letting me take it all in peacefully.

We murmur to each other idly in the quiet of the night, just enjoying the moment. At some point, Poe gave me his jacket, claiming I had been shivering. The lightness I feel in my soul brings me to realise that there had always been some kind of _block_ between Poe and I, preventing us from becoming anything more than friendly coworkers. We'd already been a lot, but our friendship needed something without the strain of work, and this little vacation has already done so much to clear it all up. I have a sneaking suspicion that this was Leia's plan all along. For this, I find I'm grateful.

"Has Keipii spoken to you about what happened on Pamarthe?" Under the effect of the late night and Poe's presence, I open up about something that had been on my mind for a while. "I'm worried about her. She acts like everything is alright, but she was there when her parents _died_."

We're both laying side by side, gazing up at the stars, bathed in the light of the orchids. Poe takes my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Yeah, she talked to me about it the other day," Poe admits. "She said she didn't want to disappoint you."

"What?" I prop myself up on my elbows, frowning at Poe's words. Poe sighs, sitting up.

"She thinks that you'd be disappointed in her if you found out that she's been having nightmares about it," Poe tells me, looking at me sympathetically. "I tried telling her that you wouldn't be, but..." I swallow thickly as Poe trails off.

I sit hunched over, biting my lip. Poe shuffles closer to me and puts an arm around me, a silent reminder reassuring me that he's there.

"C'mon, let's get back. It's late." Poe helps me to my feet, leading me back to the house. We walk in silence as I sift through my thoughts. I'm upset that Keipii thought that of me, but part of me is glad that she could at least trust Poe with it.

"How am I supposed to be a good guardian if she thinks that I'm that kind of person?" I mumble as we walk in. I glance down the corridor and notice Keipii peering at us from her temporary bedroom. When she realises we've spotted her, she disappears back inside. I exchanged a look with Poe.

"You'll know what to do. You always do." Poe tells me. I nods softly, before walking to Keipii's room.

The room is dark, but I can see Keipii huddled beneath the covers on the bed. "Kei? I know you're awake," I whisper, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I just want to talk."

"Can't. 'M sleeping." Keipii's voice is muffled, and I laugh softly at the way she sounds just like me when I was stuck in the medbay.

"That's okay. We can talk whenever you need to, about whatever you need to. You know you can always talk to me, right?" I tell her. She looks over her shoulder at me, but doesn't say a word. I smile reassuringly at her. She hesitates, before tugging me down and hugging me tightly. "You can talk to me about anything at all, because wether you like it or not, I'm staying." My words are an echo of her's when she followed me to D'Qar.

I can feel her crying softly as she clings to me. I readjust the covers so it covers the both of us, since it looks like I'm sleeping here tonight. Returning the embrace, I rub her back, whispering to her words of comfort as she cries out all her tears, and even when she does cry out all her tears, she does not let go of me.

Eventually, her breathing evens out as she drifts off to sleep. I daren't move, and soon fine that I'm falling asleep too. My eyelids are heavy and I'm dropping off when someone else slips into the bed on the other side of Keipii. I blearily crack open an eye when they put their arms around Keipii and I, pulling us closer to them. In my half conscious state, I think nothing of it when I recognise the person as Poe in the dark, simply moving in closer, Keipii readjusting herself to hold onto the both of us.

I find my last thought before falling asleep is me questioning what my parents think of him.


	13. XIII

I'm barely conscious, only vaguely aware of the bedroom door shutting quietly, of Keipii's shift in position, of Poe's soft snores. The bed is small, and the three of us are close together. Sleep has not yet left me.

"Ma, are you up?" Keipii pokes me. Still not quite ready to mentally process anything, I scrunch up my face and just barely groan. "It's the festival today."

"That's nice, sweetheart." I mumble, my eyes still closed. Keipii huffs at my lack of a response, and I feel her turn over.

"Poe, are you up?" Keipii whispers, and I assume she's poking Poe now. I hear him hum in reply.

I'm brought swiftly to my senses as my mind catches up with me.

Oh, Light, I'm sharing a bed with _Poe_.

I'm certainly awake now, but I'm still reluctant to open my eyes.

Wait, did Keipii call me ' _Ma_ '?

My eyes snap open. No, no, she must have just slipped up. There's no way she thinks of me like that.

"Poe, the festival's today." Keipii continues to whisper, excitement creeping into her voice. In the dim lighting, I see Poe prop his elbow up, resting his head on his knuckles.

"So it is, kiddo. You ready for it?" Poe's voice is still laden with sleep as he smiles down at Keipii. She nods her head.

"When are we going?" The girl asks. I roll onto my back, stretching out to grab my datapad. A quick glance at the time tells me it's later than I initially thought.

"The stalls open this morning. The story telling is in the afternoon." Poe reminds the young girl.

"Just a couple more hours, little nebula." I tell Keipii, the nickname rolling off my tongue, surprising myself. Keipii hums, pouting to herself as she thinks.

"I'm going to have breakfast." She declares, sitting up. She clambers over me and dashes out of the room. I smile after her, shaking my head softly.

"Morning." Poe says, flashing me his signature smile, his voice still gruff with sleep.

"Fancy seeing you here." I joke. He laughs, his head falling back down on the pillow. Thank the stars this isn't awkward.

"Could be worse," Poe grins at me. I narrow my eyes at him, suspicious, but unable to wipe the smile off my face. "I mean, we could both be naked."

I snort with laughter, the dark masking my warm cheeks as I hit the man playfully as he laughs along with me. We stop abruptly, maintaining eye contact for a moment before we both burst out into hearty laughter again.

We die down, and I sigh happily. Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, I pause, mentally prepping myself to get up.

Ugh, I'd much rather stay here.

I hear the bed creak behind me, indicating Poe following my actions. Reluctantly, I stand and stretch. I pad out of the room and down the corridor, rubbing my face.

"Hurry up! I wanna go!" Keipii insists, bouncing on the balls of her feet as I sit down.

"Well, good morning to you too, Kei," I say with raised brows. I notice Kes sitting opposite me, grinning wickedly. "Morning, Kes."

He returns the greeting, chuckling to himself. I frown slightly as I absentmindedly eat the breakfast set out for us, confused. I realise I'm still in my pyjamas, but...

"Anyone seen my jacket-" I look up as Poe walks around the corner, BB-8 hot on his heels. My eyes widen and I quickly divert my attention, ignoring the uncommon fluttering of my heart. "Oh. Never mind."

Where is that man's _shirt_?

And when does he find the time to work out?

"Oh, uh, right. Sorry." Glancing down, I realise I'm still wearing his jacket from after last night. So _that's_ why Kes was looking at me like that. I shrug off the leather garment and pass it to Poe.

"Keep it. You look good." Poe waves me off as he slips on the shirt in his hands. Keipii giggles.

"No, no, really. It's yours. I need to still get changed anyway." I insist. Not really sure what my reasoning there was, but whatever; I don't want to steal his clothes. I'm pretty sure everyone on this moon thinks we're dating - married, even - and I don't particularly need this adding to it.

I smile genuinely at Poe, prompting him to take the jacket from me. Slowly, he does. I watch indirectly as he puts it on. It looks better on him anyway.

Besides, I don't particularly need it in the warm weather Yavin weather as we walk around the town.

The small, open air market is busier than I'd seen it before. The buzz of happy people chatting and the squeals of excited children fill the air. Coins clink and the people sing. Bunting is strung from the buildings, small flags depicting the Rebel Alliance hanging from counters of numerous stalls. For such a small community, it's surprising to see such a large gathering of people. I catch glimpses of friends I've made here; Tia, Ana, Stella, Glynn, Vera, Kes. I realise Poe's leading us to the small fountain in the centre of the town. This must be where the storytelling is happening.

It seems my hunch is correct, because the moment it hits midday, people start streaming in and creating a circle around where an older man has taken a seat on the stone, small children weaselling through the crowd and taking front row seats. Poe had explained to me on the way here that at the core of this celebration, people would share stories of their experiences and hardships, both as a way to prove to themselves that they are strong enough to carry on, but also, through the memorial of lost loved ones, a reminder to the younger generations - the generations that have not experienced what we have - of the death and destruction cruelty and war brings.

The eldest, those who served in the Rebellion, take turns first. Of these folk, Kes goes last, telling the children the story of how three people saved Naboo from the destructive weather of the Empire. How just one of these women, Shara Bey, had real experience. How the other two women understood the risk, but how they, Princess Leia of Alderaan and Queen Soruna of Naboo, still stepped up to protect the people of the peaceful planet. I smile, recognising the story from my mother. She had, after all, lived on Naboo at the time. So had I, though I was too young to remember the specific details. Just the howling wind tearing up the ground and the plentiful 'thank you's to our saviours.

"What's got you grinning?" Poe nudges me, pulling my attention from the story. I shake my head, still smiling.

"Nothing. It's just that the story your father is telling is one that inspired me to become a pilot. I lived through it, after all." I flash him a smile. Poe quirks a brow, seeming surprised. Huh, I suppose I forgot to mention my own experiences with the Rebellion.

Kes finishes his story, the tanned man smiling as the children clap. He gets up and walks over to where Poe and I stand, putting his hand on his son's shoulder as he nods to him. Looks like it's Poe's turn now.

"Ten credits says he tells the story about that mission to the First Order outpost from a few weeks ago first." Vera murmurs to me and her friends as Poe jogs up the the fountain.

"No way. My money's on the Pamarthe mission." Stella interjects. Are they seriously betting on Poe's story?

"Guys, he might be a cocky pilot, but he's smart enough to start a story from the beginning," A sly grin slips onto Glynn's face. "I bet twenty credits he's gonna start with the Star Destroyer story."

"What are you talking about?" I whisper to them.

"Oh, you haven't been on base for, like, two weeks!" Stella laughs quietly. "Geez, he's practically been gushing about your missions nonstop. I could probably recite them."

"Stella, shush!" Vera lightly punches her friend. I raise my brows.

"What? She asked!" Stella defends herself. I shake my head at them, rolling my eyes before I turn my attention to Poe's story.

"What's the biggest thing you've blown up?" A little boy eagerly asks Poe, stars in his eyes as he looks up at his idol. Poe laughs good-naturedly at the question.

"A few months ago, I was on a mission to help the Resistance base on Hoth. My pilots were all fighting hard, but the TIE Fighters just kept coming," Poe starts. Glynn lets out a shout of laughter as he wins the little bet, cackling as Stella and Vera hand over their credits. Poe ignores him and continues. "Working well as a team is important; you've gotta have each other's backs. We were doing well until an old Star Destroyer arrived."

The children gasp, leaning in. Keipii giggles, clearly already knowing this story, glancing back at me. "It's important that you can make the best decision for the most people. I was so surprised, I couldn't speak, but luckily one of my pilots quickly took charge, even though she was only a Lieutenant at the time." Poe keeps slipping in subtle life-lessons. Even the adults are intrigued by Poe's story. He grins at me, gesturing for me to join him. When I try to refuse the offer, Keipii jumps to her feet and drags me over.

"Were you the Lieutenant? What was it like seeing the Star Destroyer?" One kid asks. I recognise him as the one that asked who I was when I first arrived on Yavin 4.

"Yes, but I'm a Commander now," I begin to answer the kid's question. "And it was scary, seeing a ship like that for the first time. The space was empty, and suddenly one of the biggest ships I'd ever seen appeared."

"Was it even bigger than this?" The boy stretches his arms out as far as he can.

"Even bigger than that!" I tell him. He watches me with wide eyes, slack-jawed. "But I'd heard stories of these ships, and I knew how to beat them, so when Poster Boy over here took to long to tell us what to do, I stepped up."

"Imagine my surprise when the girl that had been laughing through the comms started calling out orders better than I could have given," Poe says. The adults smile. "The squadron from Hoth thought she was a commanding officer."

"Yeah, that was the moment I realised I might have made a _tiny_ mistake. I genuinely feared for what would happen when I got back to base." I admit, remembering how I had basically accepted my fate then and there. The small crowd laughs.

"You got a promotion, though." Poe reminds me.

"Which, by the way, confused me to no end. After you had scolded me in front of the other pilots, I wasn't exactly expecting you to vouch for me." I tell him.

"Good thing I did. You might not have saved my life if I didn't." Poe jokes, and suddenly everyone is enraptured in the tale. Honestly, I had kind of forgotten about that.

"Okay, I might not have liked you, but I wasn't just going to let you _die_ ," I defend myself. "That would mean the mission would have failed." Poe looks at me in mock hurt as a few people chuckle.

"You saved _Poe_?" A little girl leans closer, looking at me in awe.

"And finished the mission this laserbrain couldn't." I tell her, pointing my thumb at Poe.

"What happened?" I realise it's Kes that's asked this.

"I was supposed to get information from one of the First Order bases, slip away while the pilots distracted the enemy. Didn't go that way, though. Lost a pilot, and I got hit shortly after." Poe takes over from me, speaking directly to his father. "For some reason, Y/N gave the order for the pilots to retreat, but she didn't go with them. Instead, she showed up at my crash site."

"You had a concussion and your leg wasn't in great shape. I had to practically carry you back to my ship." I speak up. BB-8 bumps my leg softly, chirping out another thank you for helping Poe.

"It's all a bit hazy, but I remember you helping me as I threw up, then you did carry me to the X-Wing. You then gave me all the supplies you had that could help me before running off to do my job for me." Poe speaks, gratitude showing clearly on his face. Kes smiles at me too, thankful. He must have not known about this.

"How did you finish the mission?" Somebody questions. I guess Poe really is the town hero.

"I took out a Stormtrooper, used their armour to disguise myself. Didn't realise it belonged to a Captain stationed at that base until a couple of Bucketheads came up to me and started asking for instructions," I sum up the odd experience. My dear astromech beeps, wanting to be praised for their role in the mission. "Then BB-09 rolled up, despite me telling them to stay by the ship. We found a medbay and took some stuff to help Poe. When we got out, I got '09 to download the information stored on a device in the helmet, then we got the hell out of there."

"You missed out the part where you got shot." Poe notes. My hand ghosts over the tender scar beneath my clothes.

"It was nothing, really." I wave it off. A little boy watches me closely.

"Can I see the scar?" I laugh at the kid's eagerness. After a moment of deliberation, I hitch up my shirt, showing the audience the raised, red flesh. It's healed pretty quickly, thanks to the skilled medics, but it still hurts when poked and prodded. Glynn gives a low whistle, his arms crossed.

"I remember you two coming in, actually. Poe showed up on a stretcher, battered to hell, but alive, thanks to you," He says. He must have been on duty that night. He shakes his head at me, chuckling. "You showed up almost an hour, scratched up and your clothes torn in places. You put on a pretty impressive show of determination to continue before you passed out from exhaustion and pain. Jess was pretty pissed off that you sorted out your X-Wing and delivered your droid to the General before of going straight to the medbay."

I laugh sheepishly, paying no mind to the raised brows of the friends who didn't know about that.

"She also helped save the people from my village!" Keipii chirps, enjoying all of this. "We lost some people, but if she and her pilots weren't there, I don't think any of us would have made it." All the adults, myself included, are surprised by Keipii's input, and the look of realisation flickers across their faces.

"You're coming back soon, right?" One of the younger kids asks, tugging on my pant leg. Oh, right. We're all headed back to base tomorrow.

"I want to hear more of your and Poe's stories!" The children agree.

"I've _heard_ all of the old people's stories. Your stories are _interesting_." One of the older kids states, pouting. I laugh, exchanging a look with Poe.

"Well, _obviously_ we're coming back. We're going to live here when the war is over." Keipii announces with utmost confidence.

"Woah, woah, woah, when did we decide this?" I rein in the girl. She looks at me, surprised I'd argue with this. Our audience watches, amused.

"Just now, duh." She says as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"I love it here too, Kei, but don't you think that's a bit presumptuous?" I say. I catch sight of Tia pretty much weeping with laughter at the situation I've found myself in.

"We can just stay with Grandpa until we build a house, can't we?" Well, I think it's been made clear that Keipii doesn't understand how this all works. Wait, did she just say...

"Grandpa?" I repeat. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Poe biting his lip to keep himself from laughing.

"Yeah. Grandpa Kes." Keipii elaborates. It's this that sends Poe, along with many of the others that I've made friends with here, into hysterics.

"You can stay with me whenever, kiddo." Kes grins at me. I sigh, exasperated.

"My mother is going to be so upset when she finds out I've chosen Yavin over Naboo." I say to myself, clapping my hands together.

Oh well. At least the civilians are entertained by this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING THIS STORY: if you regularly check the description, you'll see that 'Poster Boy' has now become a series. Second in that series is a companion fic, from Poe's POV, called 'Poster Girl'. That's all.


	14. XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: tfw u knew how u wanted a chapter to go but u take like two weeks writing it whoops

"We'll visit again soon, I swear." I laugh as I reassure Tia of the future. The woman pats my shoulder and ruffles Keipii's hair before saying farewell.

"I wanna ride with Poe on the way home," Keipii tells me, her small hand in mine. I raise my brows, but accept the young girl's request. Her eyes scan the small crowd that has gathered to say goodbye to us, landing on Poe and his father. She makes haste in running towards them. "Grandpa! There you are!"

I drag my hand over my face at the nickname Keipii has decided on for Kes. Wallowing in embarrassment, I glance over at the Dameron family, seeing Poe laughing in my direction. I smile sheepishly, walking towards them as I catch his eye.

"I hope you don't mind Keipii going with you," I say to Poe, before quickly addressing Kes. "And I'm so sorry about the nickname Keipii's given you."

"No worries; she's practically part of the family." I laugh as Kes winks at me, ignoring any underlying meaning to his words. Keipii sticks out her tongue at me, to which I respond by doing the same.

"We should get going." Poe says, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"It was wonderful meeting you, Kes. We'll visit again soon," I promise the man. "Keipii wants to stay here, after all."

"Our home is always open to you." Kes gives me a quick hug as we part ways.

"Be good for Poe, okay?" I tell Keipii, crouching down to her height. She rolls her eyes, but agrees. I peck her forehead before straightening back up. Taking a few steps backwards towards my X-Wing, I call out to the three. "See you back on base!"

With BB-09 already situated in the ship, I quickly climb up into the cockpit, spotting Poe departing from his father and helping Keipii into his own ship. Waving a final farewell to the citizens of Yavin 4, I take to the air, soaring out of the moon's atmosphere, the red, giant gaseous planet of Yavin on the horizon.

The flight is comfortably quiet as I trust Poe with my apparently-adoptive-daughter. I make the jump to hyperspace with practised ease. The blur of starlight brightens the viewports before fading away, revealing the hidden planet of D'Qar. I begin my descent, reassuring the communications officers as I enter the planet's airspace, Poe and the others not far behind me.

Touching down on the familiar duracrete feels like home. I jump down from my Starfighter as our friends jog to meet us. We shout our hellos over the soft roar of starship engines.

"You're back!" Niyele calls to me, pushing her hair back and out of her face. She glances around, brow slightly furrowed. "Where's Keipii?"

"Oh, she got a lift back from Poe." I tell her, pointing over at the black and orange X-Wing. I observe for a moment, watching as Keipii fearlessly leaps from the cockpit into Poe's arms. He spins her around before putting her down. I can hear her giggles from here.

"You all certainly get along." Niyele grins slyly at me, to which '09 beeps an agreement. I roll my eyes at her words.

"If that's how you want to play it, how's things going between you and Chertan?" I match her teasing expression. She opens her mouth to reply, but stops as a cheerful voice cuts through the air.

"Grandma Leia! We're back!" I whip my head around to see Keipii running towards the General.

"Keipii, stop calling everyone your grandparent!" I shout to her, exasperated. Even from this small distance, I can see her scrunch up her face at me as the General laughs.

"Kes said I could call him Grandpa, and the General says I can call her Grandma!" Kei yells back at me. For her small stature, she certainly has a set of lungs on her. At least it's a source of entertainment for the onlookers.

"Who's Kes?" Niyele asks from beside me.

"Poe's dad," I say, waving the topic away. "Sorry, do you think we could finish this later? I have a little girl to deal with." Amused, my Pamarthen friend let's me go.

"How did you like Yavin?" Leia - I mean, General Organa - asks me as I approach with my astromech hot on my heels, a twinkle in the woman's eye.

"It was wonderful, thanks. Kei's convinced we're going to live there once the war is over," I smile back at the older woman, who stands hand in hand with Keipii. "You wouldn't have perhaps been trying anything when you happened to have us stay with the Dameron family, would you?"

"Why, I have no idea what you're talking about," Leia grins mischievously at me, before calling over her most daring pilot. "Commander Dameron, the new recruits will be coming in this evening, and details regarding a mission have been sent to you."

"Yes, General," Poe nods, turning to head off but pausing, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Hey, I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

"See you 'round, poster boy." I wave a lazy goodbye to him as he jogs off.

"Commander Y/L/N, we may have a mission for you in the coming days. For now, though, your pilots are waiting in the food hall." General Organa smiles at me, prompting me to join my friends as she gives Keipii a little push in my direction.

We'd left Yavin 4 in the morning, and arriving on D'Qar, I'm unsurprised to see the lazier and more relaxed members of the Resistance enjoying a fairly late breakfast. At a table near the middle of the room, but not too far from the kitchens, is sat a group of my fellow X-Wing pilots. At this table, Snap is the first to notice me.

"Y/N!" Snap hollers my name across the hall, causing people to turn their heads towards me. When I'm close enough to our table, he throws me a piece of fruit. I easily catch it, instinctively handing to Keipii to eat as we take our seats. The pilot grins at me. "You're just in time, we're making a bet."

"What kind of bet?" I ask, raising my brows.

"Wait, first of all, where's Poe?" Jess asks, glancing around the room.

"He just got assigned a mission, I think, so he's probably in the Command Centre," I tell her. "Why do you ask?"

"Because the bet is about him." Jess says, allowing Snap to continue.

"Whoever can get that jacket Poe loves gets 15 credits from every person that agrees to the bet." Snap tells me. I look around the table, seeing a good number of grinning faces. I hear Keipii giggling quietly beside me.

Oh, I am going to _destroy_ the competition.

"You're on, but," A smirk slips onto my face. "The prize is doubled if the winner manages to permanently keep the jacket."

"You're confident, aren't you?" Zebalea studies me, cutting it out when Curint nudges her.

"And the game is temporarily suspended when he's on missions." Chertan pipes up.

"Sounds good to me." Hyadum says, Jenn nodding in agreement.

"Then it's a deal." Bryce grins, putting his hand in the middle of the group. We stack our hands on top of one another, there being too many of us to shake on it. We get a few strange looks as we whoop, but the people in the room brush it off easily.

"So, how was your vacation?" Zebalea questions, leaning forward, her elbows propped up on the table.

"Oh, it was amazing. I met so many great people, the planet was beautiful, and we even got to take part in a festival." I tell my friends, smiling.

"Where was it that you went?" Hyadum asks.

"Yavin 4! Grandma, I mean, General Organa, had us stay with Kes. We're going to live there when the war is over." Keipii announces. Instantly recognising the name, Jessika and Snap's faces light up in utter glee.

"Holy shit, did she seriously?" Snap laughs loudly. Jess punches his arm, scolding him for swearing in front of Keipii.

"Yeah, the General refused to mention a surname, too." I tell the group.

"Wait, who's Kes?" Chertan asks me, confused. I shake my head.

"Kes Dameron, Poe's dad." I explain. Snap howls with laughter.

"Oh, wow, that's priceless." Jenn says as she chuckles.

"Well, for what it's worth, Kes was a nice man." I shrug, telling the truth.

"Yeah! Grandpa said we can stay on Yavin whenever we want." Keipii pipes up, speaking through a mouthful of food. I sigh, exasperated as my friends snort with laughter.

"Grandpa?" Curint repeats, biting his lip to try and hold back his laughter.

"You gonna call everyone your grandparent now?" I question Kei. She shakes her head simply.

"No, just Kes and Leia." Kei says before taking another bite.

"One big, happy family." Zebalea teases us. I roll my eyes at the joking, ignoring the obvious set up that was our little vacation.


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: wow, it's been a damn long time you guys. Thanks for sticking around, and not, the long awaited next chapter of Poster Boy! also sidenote: it's been a while so idk if u have time but maybe it'd be worth rereading the fic so far bc i know i've forgotten shit and im the damn author yknow
> 
> A/N: oh my god im out of practise

I'd always assumed that, for me, routine would simply always consist of missions and training. It was what it was like for the longest time, yet here I am, the familiarity of such a routine fading oh so fast.

When I haven't been checking on the construction of the new D'Qar village for the Parmarthens, or ignoring Snap's confidence with our bet, it seems I've been playing a constant game of hide and seek with Keipii. Fortunately enough for me, she's predictable enough for me to expect to find her near Poe at any given time.

"You'll depart for Coruscant, accompanied by the medic-in-training Niyele, in three days. As usual, the mission specifics have been sent to your datapad. You're dismissed." I am instructed. I make a swift exit, making my way to where Poe has been training some new recruits the past couple of days. I know Keipii has been engrossed in watching the process.

On my way to the training room, Niyele catches up with me. The primary reason for her coming with me was to get her accustomed to different planets and their cultures, seeing as she had never really left Pamarthe before the battle. Still, even in the short while she'd been at base, she's already showing great potential in her chosen profession, so having her with me in case of the mission going south was reassuring.

"So, Coruscant, right? Anything I should know?" She questions, walking alongside me.

"The deeper you go, the worse it gets," I put plainly. "We've staying in the mid-to-top area, in close proximity to where our target is staying. We should be fine, but it's still a rowdy place, and stormtroopers will be on patrol, so don't wander off. You don't have the training that I have."

"Sounds good to me. We won't be travelling in the X-Wing though, will we?" Niyele asks. It's her first mission, so I suppose her curiosity is unsurprising.

"Nah, it'd be a dead giveaway to our identity. We'd be dead before we got out of the ship." I tell her. She hums in response, taking a moment to think.

"A few years ago, if you had told me I'd be going on a recon mission for the Resistance with you, I would have never believed it," Niyele laughs softly. "But here we are."

"Yeah," I agree. "It's still surreal that you're here, to be honest."

"Honestly, I'm still shocked that I plucked up the courage to actually _do something_ ," She pauses, mulling over her words. "I mean, we've been friends for so long. You were always so committed to the idea you'd join the Resistance and help save the galaxy, while I was committed to, well, just about the _opposite_ of that."

I laugh. "You were so terrified by just the idea of conflict. You still wanted to help people, though," I smile, thinking back to years past. "You've made the right choice. As a medic, you'll save lives, and in turn help us to save the lives of others across the galaxy." Our walk comes to a temporary stop. "It's nice to have you here. I'm proud of you." I tell her reassuringly.

"Thanks. It really means a lot," Niyele returns my smile before checking her datapad. "Well, it looks like I've got places to be. I look forward to working with you, Commander."

I grin back at her, waving goodbye to her as she jogs off down an adjoining corridor. With my close friend off doing other things, I continue my search for Keipii.

As I continue my stroll down the halls of the base, I hear the laughter of the recruits before I even arrive at the room. I crack open the door, peering in curiously.

"Well, I was gonna ask if Keipii was with you, but I think I have some different questions to ask now," I say, taking in the sight of a seemingly-flustered Poe Dameron. I raise a brow. "Seriously, what did I miss?"

"Mom! Yeah, I'm here, is it dinner yet?" Keipii suddenly appears in front of me, speaking quickly, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, cheeks red. She seems antsy, as though she'd just made a mistake, and I know it's not because she called me 'mom' - she's been doing that almost since we got back to D'Qar two weeks ago. I regard her with suspicion for a moment, but quickly brush it off.

"Uh, yeah - hey, is that Poe's jacket?" I realise. The girl glances down at her attire, noticing the extra item of clothing.

"I was cold and he said I could wear it." Kei defends herself, arms crossed and the sleeves of the much-too-large jacket rolled up to better suit her small stature. I roll my eyes, waving goodbye to the recruits as we take our leave.

I'm stopped by Poe before I can even make it a few paces away from the door. "Hey! Uh, yeah, hey," It takes him a moment to meet my eye. Weird, he's never like this. "I've got a recon mission tomorrow, and I'm leaving early." He says, quickly snapping back to his usual self.

"How early is early? And for how long?" I ask him, biting my cheek.

"A-few-hours-before-dawn early. I won't see you for a couple days." He says. I frown. My mission is in just three days - our missions may overlap.

"Promise us you'll make it back safe though, okay? I've got a recon mission of my own in three days. I'd rather not come back to find you in the medbay." I reply. He chuckles, agreeing.

He grins at Keipii, kneeling down to her level. "That jacket looks good on you. Might need to do a bit more growing first, though," He says, to which the young girl smiles bashfully. He presses a kiss to the top of her head as he murmurs a quick goodbye. The small, sweet action triggers a feeling of happiness deep inside me as a smile. He stands, facing me again.

"I'll see you both soon," He says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Okay?"

The shock from his action renders me speechless as I nod in agreement. "See you soon, Poster Boy." I smile, finding my voice. He disappears back inside the training room, but my feet are rooted to the spot as I process what just happened.

My face is flushed and my heart is fluttering, and I can't seem to stop the grin that's made it's way onto my face as Keipii drags me to the Dining Hall.

I try to distract myself from my newly realised fondness by thinking about how Snap is going to react to someone who wasn't even in on the bet winning.

The following morning, I find myself sitting in the hangar, leaning back against some crates with Keipii beside me as we wait for Poe to show up. Sure, sleep was sacrificed, but isn't it worth it?

It's BB-8 who notices our presence and alerts us to Poe's arrival. A string of gleeful beeps and whirrs causes the man to spin around, wide-eyed at the sight of Keipii and I. My own droid chirps in conversation with BB-8 while the little girl, despite her exhaustion, runs and leaps into Poe's arms. I smile at the scene as she happily chatters away to him and he reassures her that he'll quickly return. Keipii slips off the jacket she had taken from him yesterday, returning it for the time being before taking a step back.

And so comes my turn to say goodbye. I walk into Poe's open arms, no words quite needed as we settle into a warm embrace.

After a minute, I pull back a bit so to look Poe in the face. "You're the best pilot in the Resistance, so it's not like you need it but," I start, pausing my words to take a moment to kiss his cheek. "Good luck out there, Poster Boy."

With that, Keipii and I stand to the side, BB-09 at our feet as we watch Poe leave the planet. We watch until we see his distant jump to hyperspace.

As we return to our room, Keipii yawns before mumbling a confession to me. "I called him dad accidentally yesterday when he was training the recruits."

I trip over both my words and my feet at this.


	16. XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *coughing* this update is long overdue holy shit sorry but hey the last jedi is coming out next month so I shld probs get around to finishing this lol *coughing*
> 
> A/N: was kind of imaging the outfit the reader wears in coruscant to be like what Nadine Ross wears to the Rossi Estate auction in Uncharted 4, but, like, more nightclub-esque?

Three days after Keipii apparently referred to Poe as ‘dad’, I find myself up early, preparing to leave on a mission of my own. Keipii insisted on seeing me off, resulting in Jessika being woken up at a painful hour to watch over her, at least until Poe arrived back on base later that day.

“Ready to go?” I ask Niyele.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She replies. I smile at her reassuringly, reminded that this is her first mission.

With my old friend by my side, we depart from D’Qar, following through with our plans for Coruscant. It was nothing too hard: Niyele would be gaining ‘field experience’ by sticking by me while I dealt with extracting information from a First Order official stationed on the highly industrialised and urban planet.

“So, how’re you feeling about your first mission?” I ask my old friend.

“Uh, nervous? Almost apprehensive?” She tries, shrugging. “I don’t know. It’s kind of surreal that I’m doing this, to be honest.”

“And to think, just a few short weeks ago you would have never considered joining the Resistance,” I crack a smile in her direction as I continue to pilot the low-profile ship. “Don’t worry about it though, just stick by me and use your common sense and you’ll be fine.”

“So no wandering around the cityscape?” Niyele tries to joke, but I shoot her a look.

“Listen, I don’t want to put you off, but I’m being dead serious when I say you need to stay by me at all times,” I tell her, the tone of my voice humourless. “Coruscant is crawling with criminals; one foot out of line and you won’t even make it back to base.”

My warning quiets Niyele, at least for a moment.

“I mean, that’s funny though, because aren’t _we_ technically criminals?” My friend speaks up, taking me by surprise.

“What?” Is all I can manage to say in response.

“The mere existence of the Resistance goes against a couple laws, not to mention the individual charges that could be given,” Niyele pauses, glancing over at me before she continues. “Destruction of property, theft, kidnapping, illegal dealings, _murder_... and that’s just to list a few.”

I swallow thickly, completely caught off guard by her words. I frown, knowing that, really, she _isn’t wrong_.

A strong feeling of guilt twists in my gut at the thought, and I find myself rationalising it the best I can - the First Order is doing worse to more.

The silence that settles over us for the rest of the journey isn’t an entirely comfortable one, at least until we arrive at our destination.

Despite it’s rough reputation, it’s hard to deny how impressive the ecumenopolis is. A historical centre of galactic politics, there’s a lot to Coruscant, from the neon lights glowing from the deeper levels, to the glinting metal buildings that pierce the troposphere, reserved for only the highest ranked in the galaxy. We’re here with a purpose, though. We don’t have time for sightseeing.

“Intel has told us that there’s a club not far from here that this First Order guy will be at tonight,” I refresh Niyele’s memory of the details. “The place is likely going to swarming with guards, so we needs to be as inconspicuous as possible.”

Niyele hums in acknowledgment, drinking in the sights around us. Right - she’d never left Pamarthe before the incident a couple weeks ago. This is all brand new to her.

Upon our arrival, we step out of the small ship and venture into our temporary quarters. It’s nothing too fancy, just a simple grey room with a single, long window giving us a good view of the surrounding city. If all were to go well, the mission would be done with by the following morning.

In the bag I carry in with me is a top and trousers more suited to a nightclub setting. I slip into the change of clothes as the time of the mission draws closer, the more dressy outfit feeling foreign compared to my usual attire.

As the mission is simply to extract information from a specified member of the First Order, I’m not sure of what I’m looking for him to say - intel just said that, as rumour has it, he has some info that the Resistance would be interested in. So, to avoid me missing anything, a holocam is hidden in a necklace I’ve been told to wear, and an audio recorder concealed by the fabric of my shirt. Set for the mission, I flick the devices on, and leave the quarters with Niyele, also dressed for the occasion.

Galactic City is illuminated more by artificial lights than perhaps even the sun it orbits as it struggles to pierce the braze, and as night falls, the synthetic glow keeps the ecumenopolis as bright as it would be during the day. The high level club our mission dictates we must visit seems to be no exception to this, the surrounding neon signs bathing us in bold colours. On a planet so far from it’s sun, I’d find myself cold if it weren’t for the industrial heat.

The haze inside is intoxicating, strobe lights flashing throughout the room. The hum of music and the buzz of conversation is almost deafening as we push through the crowd. Amongst the numerous bodies, I spot my target sitting at the cantina. Glancing back over my shoulder, I nod at Niyele, and we go our separate ways. I approach Captain Stit of the First Order.

“Must say, I do love a man in a uniform.” I speak up, leaning against the bar counter and flashing a smile at the man. He gives me a look up and down.

“And who might you be?” He questions, still somewhat on guard, but, judging by his near empty glass, he’ll be tipsy soon.

“You can call me Aubramay,” I give a name that isn’t mine, offering another charming smile as I take the seat next to him. Pretending to only just notice the rank insignia on his uniform and feigning curiosity, I reach out and brush my fingers over the band on his sleeve. “Oh, this looks official. What does it mean?”

Stit sits up a little straighter. “I’m Captain Stit of the First Order,” Pride oozes from his words as he brags. “It’s one of the highest ranks you can achieve - I did a lot to get there.”

“Really? What sort of stuff do you do?” I inquire, tilting my head a bit, acting oblivious to his overselling of his rank.

“Captain, I-“ Some buckethead interrupts our conversation, much to my annoyance.

“What? Can’t you see I’m busy here?” Stit gestures at me to the trooper that must be accompanying him.

“Sorry, Captain, but I have just received word that-.” The stormtrooper states looks in my direction and pauses before lowering their voice to relay to Stit what I assume was classified information. They exchange a few more words, and then the trooper is off again, the Captain downing the rest of his drink.

Across the room, I catch Niyele’s eye. She shoots me a reassuring look as First Order Captain returns his attention to me.

“It must be hard, organising an entire force of soldiers.” I muse sympathetically. Stit nods in agreement.

“It is, but that’s not all there is to my job,” He says and leans in slightly. I can smell the alcohol on his breath. “Can you keep a secret?”

“I’d love to.” I reply, a sly smile slipping onto my face. He glances around, checking for eavesdroppers, oblivious to the wire I have on.

“I’ve recently been working on a top priority project, planning a mission to go ahead in a couple months, probably sooner,” He says lowly, an attempt to impress me. I raise a brow, my interest piqued. “We’ve been tracking down this old, Jedi-sympathiser that the higher-ups think has something the First Order wants. We reckon the scumbag’s somewhere in the Western Reaches of the galaxy’s Inner Rim.”

“Well, I must say, the galaxy has some nicer places to go into hiding than _there_.” I remark, to which Stit laughs. His cooperation has been useful, but Light, I’d hate to have someone so easily manipulated holding my secrets.

The stormtrooper from earlier returns, once again interrupting us. “Captain, we have received a call from base. Your presence has been sent for.”

Stit takes a deep breath, glaring daggers at the soldier. There’s a pause before he addresses me. “I’m going to have to cut this short, but it’s been good.” The First Order official gives me what I’m sure is meant to be a charming smile, but his morals make me sick.

“I’ve enjoyed myself; I hope I see you around again.” I give him a wink. He leaves, and I watch him go, waiting until he’s out of sight before I get out of the club.

I scan the crowd for Niyele as I push my way towards the door, but can’t spot her in amongst the bodies in the low-light. I bite my cheek, stepping outside, trying to come to a decision.

“You looking for your friend?” A bouncer at the door notices my search. I smile sheepishly and reply affirmatively. He gestures down the street. “I saw her leave a couple minutes ago, headed in that direction.”

Well, cheers to him for remembering her face.

I thank the bouncer before setting off to find my friend and partner on this mission, angry that she ignored my earlier warning about the dangers of Coruscant. At least she seems to be going towards the location at which we’re staying here.

After walking for a few minutes with no sign of Niyele, I’m getting anxious. Every dark alley and every shady person puts me on edge, the small blaster hidden in the waistband of my trousers my only comfort in this unfamiliar setting.

When I finally catch sight of my friend, I’m initially met with relief as I see she’s fine, but as I take my first step into the alleyway, I quickly become confused, catching the words being exchanged.

“Niyele? What’s going on?” My question is naive and desperate to remain oblivious as I break into the conversation between my old friend and a stormtrooper. She whips around, her wide, guilty eyes proving she’s been caught in the act of doing something wrong. “Were you- were your really about to-“

“Halt!” The stormtrooper commands, raising their blaster at me. I already have my weapon ready though, and the white-clad soldier hits the ground, dead, barely a moment later.

“You weren’t suppose to see this.” Is all Niyele says.

“Weren’t supposed to see _what_? You selling us out to the enemy?” I spit my words, my chest tight as the pain of her actions takes hold. “How could you _do_ something like that?”

“How could I _not_?” Niyele retorts, any guilt in her expression vanishing, replaced with anger, her voice rising. “It’s because of you and the rest of the Resistance that my village - my _home_ \- was _obliterated_!”

I stare at her in stunned silence, the venom in her words stinging.

“You think... you think it was our fault?” I can barely whisper my words, her glare steely. I swallow thickly, my throat constricting and my stomach twisting. “We did everything we could to stop the First Order, and that’s what you have to say?”

“Your presence only encouraged them! If it weren’t for you, my family wouldn’t be _dead_!” She shouts back at me, her fists clenched tight.

“We all lost people that day,” My voice rises at her accusation. “Yet you would betray _everyone_ that survived by giving away the location of our base. _Why_?”

“It’s a small price to pay to ensure the Resistance doesn’t ruin the lives of anyone else.” She justifies her actions, not a trace of regret in her voice.

I take a shaky breath, unshed tears blurring my vision. She was one of my oldest friends, but she’d leave us all for dead.

Seconds of silence in our argument tick by. The sound of shouts in the distance urges me to do something.

“At least they died protecting the people they cared for,” I speak up, meeting Niyele’s eye. “You... you just died a traitor.”

“Wha-“

 _Thump_.

She doesn’t even finish her sentence, hitting the ground before she gets the chance, dead by my hand. The blaster, still raised in her direction, feels foreign and suddenly _so wrong_.

It clatters to the floor, and I crumple to my knees alongside it. I scrunch my eyes close, burying my face in my hands, but the imagine of Niyele’s lifeless body is seared into my memory.

_Niyele is dead. She betrayed us. I killed her._

_She’s dead. She betrayed us. I killed her._

_She’s dead. She betrayed us. I killed her._


	17. XVII

Numb. I felt numb. Impervious to all as the scene played over and over and over in my mind. The ceaseless sounds of Coruscant become nothing but white noise. Somewhere along the line, I switched off the camera and audio transmitter. My mind blank, I only vaguely know where my feet were taking me.

Her betrayal is eating me from the inside out.

The accommodation is in sight when someone grabs my arm. Acting out of instinct, I turn, breaking out of their hold, blaster in hand, but it’s not an enemy that I come face to face with.

“Woah, hey, it’s just me,” Poe says, cautious of my unexpected reaction. His voice is soft. “It’s just me.”

I immediately bring myself towards him, letting out the tears that I’d pushed back the entirety of the journey. I’m held close to him, his arms wrapped securely around me. His presence is like a safety blanket as he murmurs reassurances.

“C’mon, we’ve already got all your stuff on the ship.” He tells me, guiding me away. The carrier ship isn’t necessarily the most inconspicuous choice, but it isn’t overtly obvious either, so it’s good enough for now.

Once inside, Poe calls out to the pilot to go, never once breaking contact with me. We take a seat as the spacecraft takes to the air, leaving Coruscant behind. I lean into Poe, his arm wrapped around me, rubbing my arm soothingly as we sit in silence.

It’ll take a lot to convince me to return there.

My gaze falls on the bag I brought with me to the industrial planet, and I part from Poe for just a minute, moving into a more private area of the ship to change into something more comfortable.

When I return, I’m wearing clothes that are void of Coruscant’s culture, and I’m quick to return to my place by Poe’s side.

“Nobody holds what happened against you.” Poe speaks up eventually.

“Someone will.” I reply, my voice quiet, helpless. Everyone in the Command Centre would be aware of what had happened, having seen the footage and heard the audio.

“You made a tough decision, one that kept everyone at home safe.” Poe says, his tone firm but soft, squeezing my arm reassuringly.

Up front, communication between the pilot and base alert me to our arrival on D’Qar. We’re cleared for landing, and a minute later we’ve touched down on the familiar duracrete.

I peer out of the ship, finding a few familiar faces waiting for us. Upon seeing a particular friend of mine, one that was close with Niyele, I clench my jaw and hang my head, addressing Poe. “I can’t face them right now; I can’t face _Chertan_ right now.”

Poe drapes something - his jacket - over me and places a hand on my shoulder, using his other hand to gently move me so to look at him. “I’ve got this, okay?” He presses a kiss to the top of my head and disappears out of the ship.

I pull the jacket closer around me, waiting for him to return as I’m left alone with the crushing feeling of hopelessness. Night has fallen across D’Qar, and the low chatter from just outside the ship is all that disturbs the silence of the hanger.

The light footsteps of the ship’s pilot approach from behind me. “How you holding up?” The familiar voice of Jessika Pava asks. I shrug, wordless. She gives me a pat on the back, not saying anything that could be stepping over the line.

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” I say, giving a dry laugh.

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for.” She replies, cracking a smile.

“Thanks for flying out there for me,” I tell her, genuine in my words. “I know it’s not the most desirable thing to do at this time of night.”

“I don’t know what happened to you or Niyele on Coruscant,” She responds, pausing momentarily as I frown at the mention of my old friend. “But Poe was frantic and looking for someone to help collect you. You’re a good friend and pilot, it’s the least I could do.”

“Thanks, really.” I offer a weak smile, pulling the jacket closer to me. A knock on the metal of the ship alerts us to Poe’s presence.

“I got everyone to leave,” Poe tells me, and I’m grateful. “Well, almost everyone-“

“ _Ma_!” Keipii bursts into the ship, arms open as she hurtles towards me. I drop to my knees, welcoming her embrace.

“She was adamant on seeing you.” Poe explains as the little girl clings to me. Jessika smiles at us, taking her leave.

“Pa left really suddenly to get you and I was _scared_ ,” Keipii looks me in the eye with a deep intensity, and I watch as something clicks in her mind. “Where’s Niyele?”

I exchange a look with Poe, my mouth dry. I fumble over my words as I try to answer the girl. “I’ll explain in the morning, okay?”

It’s an answer she’s unsatisfied with, but she picks up on my unwillingness to talk about it and let’s it go.

The rest of the night is restless for me. Poe is reluctant to leave me after such a traumatic experience, but I find myself insisting. Keipii falls asleep fast enough, curled into my side. On the other hand, I lay awake as my thoughts continuously come back to Coruscant.

A knock on the door breaks the silence. Between the weary feeling of my eyes and the headache, I know that sleep didn’t find me. With a sigh, I pad over to the door.

“Morning. Can I come in?” Poe asks, a tray of food in hand. I give him a look, but step aside so he can enter. He places the tray on a low table and explains. “I didn’t think you’d want to deal with everyone, so I brought breakfast.”

“Oh, thank you.” I smile. A groan from the bed signals Keipii’s waking up. She blinks slowly, still laden with sleep, until she recognises Poe’s presence, a grin breaking out across her face.

“Mornin’, Pa.” She greets cheerfully.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Poe replies. I watch the interaction fondly, my mind drifting.

“Hey, if you see the General, tell her I’ll be by later today about the mission.” I ask Poe as he and Keipii make a move to leave for the dining hall.

“You don’t need to rush into anything you don’t feel up to, y’know?” Poe responds.

“That’s not how a war works.” I retort, but my smile lets him know I’m grateful for his concern.

“Alright, whatever you say,” He plants a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

With that, he’s racing down the corridor, Keipii hot on his heels, both laughing gleefully.

The rest of the day, the feeling of numbness returns. I barely taste the breakfast I was brought, but make an effort to eat it, for Poe and Keipii’s sake. I lose track of time and thoughts as I stand in the ‘fresher, the warm water welcome. Around midday, I seek out General Organa to be debriefed on the mission the way I should have hours ago. Poe’s jacket is like a safety blanket as I dodge familiar faces on the way, only to be confronted with the General’s softer-than-usual questioning.

I do nothing for the rest of the day, spending in mourning to myself in my room.

The following day starts out the same way. Poe stops by with breakfast and take Keipii off my hands, and I force myself to eat and wash, if only not to worry Poe and Keipii unnecessarily. I find myself bundled up in bed, thinking back to my experience on Pamarthe, the memories now oh so bittersweet.

Between the death of Niyele and the subsequent reminiscing, I realise that I haven’t made an effort to go visit my parents since they came to D’Qar. It’s been nearly two months since the Pamarthen incident, and guilt was suddenly engulfing me.

It needed to be located a safe distance from the base, so the new village takes a trek to walk to. Oh well - I feel like walking.

And so I do. It’s a bit tedious, but D’Qar is, overall, a pleasant planet. There are worse places to get lost in thought. I find myself thinking back over the past couple months. A few days ago, I lost one of my dearest friends. About a month and a half ago, I visited Yavin 4 for the first time. Nearly two months ago, the village I spent so much of my life in was nearly destroyed, and Keipii became part of my life. Almost four months ago, I completed Poe’s mission and brought him back to D’Qar. Half a year ago, the Hoth incident occurred, and, despite having been a part of the Resistance for years, I only then began to build my relationship with Poe.

The time has flown by. So much has happened in such a short time, I can only wonder what the future holds.

Construction on the village has progressed faster than anyone could have hoped. There’s a high chance that, if we win this war, the village will continue to be occupied, potentially even expanding, similar to what happened on Yavin 4 after the last war. No name has yet been officially decided for the settlement, but people have begun to refer to it as New Pamarthe. I like it.

Eventually, I find myself standing in front of my family’s new home. I take a deep breath and knock, the door swinging open barely seconds later. My mother blinks at me, taking in my appearance for a moment before welcoming me inside.

Voices come from the room my mother ushers me in the direction of. Inside I find the unexpected sight of Poe conversing with my father.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, interrupting the conversation. I give him a look of mock suspicion, though a small smile forms on my lips. Poe turns at the sound of my voice, surprised by my sudden appearance.

“Um, talking?” Poe tries, looking almost sheepish.

“He’s been checking in with all of us recently.” My mother tells me. I nod.

“Oh. Well, thanks. It’s appreciated.” I address Poe, my actions feeling almost restricted by the watchful eyes of my parents. He seems to notice it too, raising a brow at me.

“It was good talking to you, Mr and Mrs Y/L/N, but I should go,” Poe says to my parents before turning to me. “I’ll see you back at base, right?”

I nod, affirmative. “Yeah. Meet you in the dining hall?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Poe grins at me and takes his leave.

For a moment, I watch him go.

“He’s a nice boy.” My mother says offhandedly. I hum in vague agreement, ignoring the implications her words held.

I take a deep breath and steel myself. I just need to suck it up and face them - I owe them that much.

I turn to my parents and speak up. “So, I guess we have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?”


	18. XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: forgot to mention like half the fic ago but yeah I’m like 95% this fic is gonna have a total of 25 chapters

For the first time in the days that have passed since the unfortunate death of a dear friend, I get up and force myself to face my friends. Maybe they already know what happened. They probably don’t.

Either way, not matter how justified I was in my actions, it’ll take a toll on my relationships.

I knock on the door of a nearby room, Keipii leaning into my side. It swings open quickly enough, revealing Poe behind it. “Well, this is unexpected.” He says, grinning at Keipii and I.

“Figured I should be making an effort to do my job,” I tell him, shrugging nonchalantly. “Even if the start of the process is just having a meal with everyone else.”

“Small steps in the right direction.” Poe’s smile is truly genuine as he reaches out and gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

The three of us walk together to the food hall, the conversation flowing smoothly. When we arrive, there are already a fair number of people scattered around, and I find myself nervous.

It’s almost humiliating that, after all I’ve been through, interacting with people I’ve known for such long periods of time is what’s setting me on edge right now.

From across the room, I see Jessika spot us, beaming as she waves. Breakfast in hand, we join her and a couple other pilots at the table. Greetings are exchanged, and the sense of normalcy that comes with it is comforting.

“Hey, Y/N, I gotta ask,” Snap looks at me, almost mischievous. “Is that Poe’s jacket?”

“I- what?” I look down, realising that I’m still wearing it after Poe offered it to me a few days ago. Whoops. “Oh, sorry, I guess I kinda forgot to give it back.” I explain as I shrug it off. “Here-“

“Nah, keep it.” Poe waves his hand, stopping my actions. Around the table, brows are raised.

“Oh. You sure?” I question, not wanting to come off as too eager to keep hold of the garment.

“Yeah. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Poe flashes a smile. “You look good in it.”

I return the look, readjusting the jacket before returning to my food. I can feel the surprised eyes on the two of us.

“Well, shit,” Snap breaks the momentary silence. “Y/N won the bet.”

“Wait, what?” I question, my mind drawing a blank as my friends groan and mumble about their lost credits.

“Lemme take a guess,” Poe gives Snap a look. “This bet is why I kept catching you trying to get into my room?”

“There were a lot of credits at stake.” Snap shrugs. Poe chuckles, shaking his head, and I roll my eyes.

The conversation drifts away from the bet and towards more mundane topics, featuring the occasional teasing towards Poe and myself. It’s a welcome change of pace.

“Um, actually, have any of you seen Chertan around?” I ask the group. Knowing his relationship with Niyele, I need to stop avoiding him and talk things through.

“He, uh, he didn’t take the news well.” Poe tells me softly, and I sigh. It’s what I expected.

“He’s spent a lot of time in the hangar the past few days, probably trying to distract himself.” Jess offers.

“Right. Thanks.” I hesitate for a moment, reluctant to face the difficult conversation that’s to come, but I know I’ve left it long enough as is.

Pilots and mechanics alike mull around the many ships in the hangar, various droids scattered around them. Across the room, I spot Chertan. With a deep breath, I steel my nerves and make my way over.

Noticing my approach, he eyes me warily. The silence between us weighs us down, and I can already tell our friendship has been severed.

“Did they tell you?” I speak up, my voice quiet.

“Tell me _what_? How Niyele _died_?” Chertan’s voice is almost hoarse, his expression cold. “She was our friend. How could you _do_ that?”

“If I didn’t, all the rest of our friends would have died.” I say, numb.

“Are you seriously justifying yourself?” Chertan’s tone is bitter. Resentful. “How could you have been sure that she was betraying us? She would never do something like that! Even after all these years, all these years you’ve known her, you’d still _murder_ her like that?”

“Listen, Chertan, I know you and her-“ I start, getting cut off.

“She and I _what_?” He swallows thickly, and I can hear his voice cracking under the strain of the situation. “That we liked each other? That we spent all this time _stupidly_ dancing around it? Yet you didn’t stop for a moment to consider it. No, instead you _killed_ her, and spent _days_ just _hiding away_ -“

“Chertan,” I stop him, my voice as firm as I can make it in that moment, but I’m fast crumbling. “Chertan, please, just... just stop.”

“Why? You clearly don’t understand-“

“Yes, I do!” I snap back at him. I quickly try to regain my composure. “I do, I really, really do, okay? You have every right to hate me, trust me, _I know_ , because I _loathe_ what I did. She was the first friend I made when my family moved to Pamarthe, and she remained my closest friend. Killing her is the hardest thing I’ve _ever_ had to do.”

Chertan’s face is distraught. He looks me in the eye, and I catch sight of his tears. I’m vaguely aware of the tears on my own cheeks.

“Then why did you do it?” He speaks quietly, with the voice of a broken man, and my guilt is amplified.

“You know the answer to that.” Is the weak answer I manage to muster up. He nods, beginning to come to terms with the reasoning behind our friend’s death.

I still feel horrible about all that’s happened, but now the pressure has been alleviated, even if it’s just by a bit.

“I... I need some time to think.” Chertan speaks up after a minute. I nod in understanding.

“Yeah, okay. I, uh, I’ll see you at the memorial later?” He hums in response, and I leave him alone.

The memorial. The word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, yet another reminder of a comrade, of a _friend_ , gone. It was to be a small event, with only those who were close with Niyele attending. Word had gotten out about what happened, after all, and the majority wanted nothing to do with her memory. It’s a strange thing. On Pamarthe, she had always been so liked.

As I leave the hangar, the fatigue that has plagued me over the last days returns. The halted process of mourning has apparently taken a toll on me.

A hand on my shoulder draws me from my thoughts, and I am unsurprised to see it’s Poe. “How’d it go?”

In response, I shrug. “The way I expected it to go, really. Not great, but it could have been worse,” I sigh, closing my eyes. “He’s angry. At both myself and her. They were so close, but they avoided talking about their clear feelings, and now I’ve stolen her away from him forever. He _should_ be angry at me.”

Poe frowns at me, an emotion in his eyes that I can’t quite place. For a moment, he hesitates, but he pulls me close to him anyway.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” Poe speaks slowly, sounding as though he’s choosing his words carefully. “But I also think that you need to learn to stop blaming yourself.”

There’s a significant weight to his words. They tap into his own experiences, his own losses. They’re reassuring, even more so when I know some of those losses we’ve had to persevere through together. I hum in acknowledgement, my head resting on his chest. I can faintly hear his heartbeat.

For a minute, we just stand in a comforting silence, until we both simultaneously deem it time to get on with our day.

“Y’know, the minute you left the room, the other pilots at breakfast started hounding me for details about us.” Poe cracks a smile at me as he recounts the earlier occurrence, moving on from the prior topic. Absentmindedly, he entwines his hand with mine as we walk.

“Oh, stars, what did they say?” I laugh.

“Oh, you know, they were just interrogating me on the jacket thing, and why Keipii started calling me her dad, that sorta stuff.” Poe grins as we stroll down the corridor.

“Sounds like they had a great time.” I reply, and it feels good to have a smile on my face.

This time a year ago, if you’d told me I’d be walking hand-in-hand with Poe Dameron, joking with one another as we went to collect the child that adopted us as her parents, I’d have laughed. I’d never have even considered such a future.

Yet here I am, slowly reaching the point at which I can admit to myself why my heart is fluttering.

Part of me serves as a constant reminder that I have a job to do, that I have more important things to focus on. Instead, I’m finding myself beginning to listen to the part of me that just wants to enjoy everything life can offer after everything that’s happened.

Eventually, as we approach the food hall once again, Poe shifts the conversation. “I know you and Keipii have the memorial later, so if you need anything...”

“Thank you, Poe. For everything,” I smile reassuringly at him. “But I think this is something I should do alone.”

“If that’s what you want, the okay, but you know I’m there if you need me.” He says, pressing a quick kiss to my temple. I lean into him slightly, tightening my grip on his hand.

As if on cue, a familiar voice shouts to us, echoing in the corridor. I quickly push away any feelings that were just beginning to surface, preoccupying myself with Keipii barrelling towards us. Standing just inside the door to the food hall is Jess, waving, and I call out my thanks before turning my attention elsewhere.

“I guess it’s time.” I say quietly, taking a deep breath. The walk to the memorial location is long enough, and the sun will be setting by the time we arrive.

“You good?” Poe asks, his warm eyes watching me. I offer a smile and a nod, and with that, Keipii and I depart.

The journey there is silent, Keipii uncharacteristically not saying a word. She’s been through a lot, though. She’s seen a lot. Her behaviour isn’t surprising.

The memorial is a rough, rushed attempt at recreating a traditional Pamarthen funeral, but given the circumstances, it’s touching to see the effort that’s been put into it. A small, decorated raft sits at the water’s edge, waiting to be sent drifting away. The lake is one I know to be the largest body of water in the vicinity. I suppose it’s as close to the seas of Pamarthe as we’ll get.

Those gathered are the ones that had accompanied me during the mission to Pamarthe. The mission that I met Keipii on. The mission that changed Niyele as a person. The mission that ultimately lead to her death.

The ceremony is quiet, each of us consumed by our thoughts. We light candles, going one by one to set them upon the raft as soft words are spoken. I avoid making eye contact with anyone as it comes to me.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, swallowing thickly, my chest tight. Keipii squeezes my hand reassuringly. Together, we set down the final two candles.

The stillness of the lake is disrupted as the raft is pushed away from the shore. We stand watching as the sun sinks below the horizon, the small, flickering flames dancing on the water.

Niyele was a good person. She truly was, right up until her final moments. Tragedy befell her, though, and like many unfortunate others, she too was changed. It was a result of war, still breeding nothing but malevolence.

This memorial was intended to offer us some form of closure.

I don’t think I’ve yet got it.


	19. XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: bringing back some characters from earlier chapters btw. honestly didnt know where i was going with them when i started writing this chapter but hey here we are.

“Seeing as you’re all here, I’ll begin,” General Organa begins. “As you are all aware, Commander Y/L/N recently met with Captain Stit of the First Order. During the conversation, we picked up on intel potentially regarding a subject of our interest.”

“He mentioned a ‘Jedi-sympathiser’ located in Inner Rim’s Western Reaches,” I speak up, arms crossed as my gaze settles on the holographic map in front of us. “That being said, their search could be expanded into the general vicinity. It wouldn’t be as narrow a search, with planets like Rakata Prime, Jakku, and Takodana all being potential targets.”

“During the recent recon mission I was sent on, we discovered that the First Order raided the Empire’s old archives,” Poe continues. “Amongst other things, they took an incomplete map.”

“When he vanished, Luke Skywalker was searching for the unknown location of the first Jedi temple,” The General takes over, hiding the melancholy on her face. “It’s only a slim chance, but it is possible they are attempting to locate and hunt him down.”

Personnel around the Command Centre murmur to one another. _Luke Skywalker_. It was a name not often mentioned, and the concept of finding him after all this time was a strange one.

“He was a valuable member of the Rebel Alliance, and if this theory is correct, it is our duty to protect him,” General Organa announces. “We’ll begin sending teams out on reconnaissance missions soon.”

“When’s ‘soon’?” Someone asks a fair question.

“The first team will be sent out tomorrow, led by Commander Dameron. We’ll send as many teams out as necessary.” The General answers.

“What will happen when we find the map?” Someone else asks.

“Someone will be sent to retrieve it, and from there we’ll put it to good use,” General Organa says. “However, we have no way of predicting the situation, so we must remain adaptable. If there are no other questions, you are dismissed.”

Individuals begin to filter out of the room. I’m unaware of how intently I’m staring at the map in front of me until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“So, the Western Reaches, huh?” Poe says.

“I take it you’re going to be the one to retrieve the map?” I crack a smile.

“What makes you say that?” Poe asks, his tone playful.

“Because you’re _you_ , Dameron.” I reply, and he chuckles.

“Could be you.” He points out, but I shake my head.

“Nah, I highly doubt that,” Poe raises a questioning brow at me as I turn my gaze towards General Organa. “After the whole thing on Coruscant and my current state, I think the General’s a bit, uh, hesitant about sending me out.”

“Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself, or her, okay?” Poe tells me, hand brushing against mine.

“She’s treating me normally for the most part, it’s just... I don’t know, it’s something,” I sigh, turning my attention away from the older woman. I stand a little straighter and smile at Poe, opting for a change in attitude. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I can rest easy knowing the job’ll be done by the best pilot in the Resistance.” I grin, giving Poe a playful punch.

Poe laughs. “I don’t know, there’s another pilot that comes to mind.”

“Oh, really? Who?” I play along, quirking a brow, my smile not once faltering.

“You might know her: smart, high ranked, tough, saved my life a couple of times,” He smirks at me, fondness in his eyes. “Attractive, too. Yeah, she’s definitely a sight for sore eyes.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” I joke, and he shrugs.

“Eh, only the ones I like.” He replies. For a second, we don’t say anything, lost in the moment.

“C’mon, Poster Boy, we’ve got a job to do.” I smile at him, pushing from my mind any thoughts of this unspoken thing between us.

“You sure you’re okay taking the recruits today?” Poe asks me as we leave the Command Centre.

“Poe, I’ve told you, it’s fine,” I reassure him. “You’re going on a mission tomorrow, so go look after your X-Wing.”

He grins at me, taking my hand as he insists on walking me to one of the training rooms.

We stop just outside the room in which the recruits are waiting. “You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.” Poe tells me, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll see you later?”

“Naturally.” I smile as he gives me another kiss on the cheek before jogging towards the hangar. I watch him go for a moment, but remind myself I have work to do.

I step into the room to find a dozen or so recruits already watching me, all giving me similar looks. One grins at me and speaks up. “You two are so cute together.”

“Wait, what?” I respond, realising they witnessed Poe’s little display of affection through the open door. “Oh, no- Poe and I- we’re not- we’re not together.” I deny, stumbling over my words.

“You sure? I mean, when you were pointed out to us the first time, we were told ‘ _Commander Y/L/N is off the market, she’s Poe’s girl_ ’.” Another says with raised brows.

“You’re also wearing his jacket, and doesn’t your kid call him dad?” The first recruit adds.

“Oh my stars- okay!” I cut in with a clap of my hands. “You can speculate about our relationship _after_ we’re done training, but we’re still not together.”

“Mhm, whatever you say.” The second recruit hums.

Training new recruits, surprisingly, isn’t as bad as I had always assumed it would be. To be fair, these recruits were well into their training under the supervision of one Commander Dameron, so really, what was I expecting?

The newbies are good people, and soon enough I find the session is over. I dismiss them, leaving them to their own devices while I head to the dining hall in search of something to eat.

I’ve barely stepped inside the room when friends in orange overalls practically materialise by my side.

“Stars, Y/N! It’s been ages since we’ve last seen you!” Hyadum exclaims, linking arms with me.

“We know that ever since the Pamarthe mission, things have been a little rough,” Jenn says, imitating her girlfriend’s actions and linking with my other arm as they begin to walk, pulling me with them. “But hey, the Ivory Squadron’s missed our fearless leader.”

“Yeah, a lot’s happened,” I agree, thinking of things both good and bad. “I’ve got time to kill, though.”

Grabbing something to eat, we head over to a table. It’s empty, and though it’s likely due to most people being busy at this moment, it still serves as a solemn reminder of not only the broken friendship I have with Chertan, but the deaths of Biham and Graves. I’m struck by guilt. They died months ago, but they were members of my squadron. They were my friends.

I clear my throat, occupying myself with another topic. “So, how are things going between you two?”

“Actually, that’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” Hyadum takes Jenn’s hand, swallowing nervously.

“After everything that’s happened these past months, we realised that, y’know, everything can be torn apart in a single second, and we don’t want to waste time, so...” Jenn trails off.

“We want to get married. Nothing too big, of course,” Hyadum flashes a smile. “We were hoping to get your blessing.”

“My- my blessing?” I question, slightly confused. “Wait, don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely ecstatic for you two! I’m just wondering why you want my blessing?”

“You’re the commanding officer of the Ivory squadron. We know how relationships between comrades can cause problems, and we respect your opinion.” Jenn explains, the nervous bouncing of her leg causing the table to wobble.

“Thank you, really,” I smile appreciatively at Jenn’s words. “You absolutely have my blessing.” The reality of the situation catches up to me, and I find myself giddy. “Oh, stars, you’re getting married!”

I lean across the table, giving them a kind of distant hug, and the three of us erupt into excited chatter about the upcoming event. Something like this was a welcome distraction, and would be a great boost to morale.

“What did I miss?” A very familiar voice asks, sliding into the seat beside me.

“Just some wedding plans.” I answer Poe’s question with a grin, to which he raises a brow.

“We’re getting married!” Hyadum announces, grasping her fiancée’s hand. The two of them beam at us, and I can’t help but be proud.

“Seriously? Congratulations!” Poe leans forward while smiling widely at the two, slipping his arm around my shoulders.

“It’s just gonna be a small thing, and we don’t want it to be to much of a distraction from important work, so we’re hoping to have it in a couple days.” Jenn tells Poe, recounting details I’d just spoken with the couple about.

“I’ll do what I can to make it back from my mission in time for it,” Poe promises. A beeping from his datapad takes his attention. Skimming over the message, he stands to leave. “Well, duty calls. I’ll see you lot around later.”

He presses a kiss to the top of my head before jogging in the direction of the Command Centre. It’s a small habit he’s developed, one that’s become routine to me, so I’m slightly taken aback by Hyadum and Jenn’s smiling gazes.

“What?” I question, my cheeks warm as I look between them.

“It’s just funny, that’s all. I mean, do you remember the day you two first started interacting? The mission with the old Star Destroyer?” Jenn brings up the incident.

“You made it clear you though he was just some arrogant flyboy - you even took over his job on that mission,” Hyadum continues. “Yet here you are.”

“It’s not like we’re together.” I say.

“And how many other people would say the same about you two?” I’m quiet at Hyadum’s words, because she has a point.


	20. XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: fuck the ending of this chapter isn’t how I wanted it to go but here we are this is what i get for putting the chapter plan as “some cute shit idk” and having just seen the last jedi and just rolling with the moment
> 
> A/N 2: also generally i’m not usually a song-with-fic sorta person but if any of u are curious i was literally just listening to Compass by Zella Day for the last scene of this chapter

“Don’t do anything stupid out there, okay?” I remind Poe as he prepares to leave. He chuckles, pressing a lingering kiss to my forehead, an arm wrapped around me.

“Whatever you say.” He replies, grinning at me. It’s a teasing phrase, but it’s somehow reassuring.

“When are you gonna be back?” Keipii asks, tugging on Poe’s sleeve.

“Quicker than you can say ‘best pilot in the Resistance’.” Poe says, crouching down to Keipii’s height and smiling.

Poe turns and leaves us, climbing into his dearly loved Starfighter. We watch the famed black and orange T-70 X-Wing take to the skies, followed by Jessika Pava and Snap Wexley. It was the first reconnaissance mission searching for what was believed to be the map to Luke Skywalker, and everyone was anxious to see how it would go.

A few days later, though, and, as far as anyone knows, the mission is still dragging on. Back on base, meanwhile, a small ceremony is being prepared. Though it was intended to be a small, simple event, the villagers of New Pamarthe turned out to be more than willing to lend a hand in preparation.

Chairs either side of the makeshift aisle are full, leaving a number of people standing to watch. Both Jenn and Hyadum are wearing white dresses, given by the Pamarthens, and adorned with simple but attractive designs and patterns. At the end of the aisle stands General Organa, having offered to take the time to make the wedding official. On a cushion she holds two simple wedding rings, forged from scrap X-Wing metal.

Perhaps a seemingly strange choice of material, but given the fact that it’s what brought the couple together, it’s a meaningful one.

The exchanging of vows is kept simple and brief as there was still work to be done around the base. General Organa congratulates the newly-wed couple, and swiftly excuses herself, returning to the Command Centre.

“I’m so proud of you two!” I grin, pulling Jenn and Hyadum in for a hug. “You know, it’s not to late for you two to have a honeymoon. I can pull a couple strings here and there.”

“Thanks, but we just fine.” Hyadum tells me with a laugh.

“We’re too close to finding Luke Skywalker to take a break.” Jenn says, smiling.

“Well, if you need anything, just give us a shout.” Keipii assures the couple.

I raise my brows, but readily agree nonetheless. “Exactly what she said.”

“Thanks, we’ll keep it in mind.” Hyadum bites her lip, containing her laughter.

“Anyway, have a happy wedding day!” Keipii beams up at the pair. “Also thank you for the food,” The little girl glances at me and whispers. “Can I go to the table now?” I nod, and the kid runs off.

“Well, congratulations,” I look at the people wanting to edge their way into the conversation. “I think I’ll leave you to the rest of your guests though.”

As the married couple are swept away by others eager to chat, I find myself exchanging a few words here and there before finding a place to simply observe the event.

Surrounded by the happy energy, I lose myself in thought.

“Fancy meeting you here.” A voice says from behind me, halting my train of thought. I whip around and come face to face with Poe.

“Poe! When did you get back?” I exclaim, hugging him without hesitation.

“Earlier today,” He explains to me. “I had to get debriefed and freshen up a bit before coming here.”

“It’s good to see you,” I tell him earnestly, pulling back to look him in the eye. “Have you spoken to Hyadum and Jenn yet?”

Poe nods, looking over at the couple. I follow his gaze, seeing the pair conversing with Snap and Jess. “Yeah, I’ve congratulated the newly-weds. I left Snap and Jess to preoccupy them while I found you, though.”

“How’d it go?” I ask carefully, looking back at him. He sighs.

“Nothing so far. The General is making plans for the upcoming two missions.” Poe tells me, hiding his dejected tone.

“Hey, at least you’ve began narrowing the search,” I reassure him. I rest a hand on his cheek, making him meet my eye. “You going on the next one?”

“Not this one, no.” Is Poe’s simple answer.

We look back over at the newly-weds, watching as they proudly show off their wedding rings.

“It’s been a while since the last wedding.” Poe remarks offhandedly. I hum in agreement.

I glance back at him, noticing him fiddling with a necklace worn around his neck. On they chain hangs a simple ring. How have I not noticed it before?

“Since when have you had that?” I ask, nodding at it.

“Hm? Oh, this?” Poe lifts the chain, letting the ring dangle in the air. “I’ve had it for a while, it’s just usually hidden. It was my mother’s.”

Before I can speak, Poe is tackled by the little girl we both know and love. Keipii giggles as she squeezes Poe in a hug, having not known of his arrival back.

“Pa! You’re back!” She grins up at him, before fixating on the ring-necklace, pouting curiously. “What’s that?”

“This was my mother’s wedding ring,” Poe tells Keipii, crouching down to her level to show her the ring more clearly. “Someday, I’ll share it with the right partner.”

Butterflies flutter inside me at Poe’s words, but I push them away. We’re at war, I shouldn’t jump the blaster.

“You should share it with Ma.” Keipii smiles innocently. Poe laughs good-naturedly.

“That’s a judgement I could trust.” Poe says, his own smile widening. I roll my eyes, ignoring the burning in my cheeks, and ignoring the smile that’s slipped onto my face.

Fortunately for me, Keipii quickly moves onto the next topic, and starts nagging Poe to show her how to dance. He chuckles as he takes her hands, bringing her to the makeshift dance floor where she follows his lead, standing on his feet.

I watch fondly, my gaze and smile soft. Besides me, someone sighs. I turn to come face to face with Zebalea.

“You need to do something about this.” Gone is the teasing, nearly boisterous tone her voice usually has. Rather, she looks at me with near pity.

“I do,” I sigh, looking away. “But I won’t.”

No point in pretending I don’t know what she’s talking about.

“You’re still refusing to recognise it.” Zebalea murmurs, incredulous.

“We’re at war. Acknowledging that I might like someone...” I shake my head. “So much could go wrong.”

“That’s exactly _why_ you should act on these feelings,” Zebalea prompts. “You’ve never been intimidated by risks before. This is a risk worth taking.”

“And when something inevitably happens?” I retort, arms crossed, still refusing to meet her gaze.

“Then you cherish what you had, and use it to keep you going,” Zebalea urges me on. As she continues, she lowers her voice a fraction. “It’s better than regretting what you missed out on.”

I clench my jaw, not responding. She’s right, I know she is, but pride holds me back.

Zebalea takes a deep breath, audibly exhaling as she looks to where Poe and Keipii laugh together. “Just... do _something_. Before something bad happens.” With that, she leaves.

Her words invoke a sense of inevitability, as though they were a true foreshadowing of the future. They hang over me like heavy clouds as I distract myself with the celebration.

This isn’t a time to mourn a future I don’t even know. This is a time to celebrate unity.

The people of the Resistance happily chat amongst themselves until the drink runs dry and the food runs out, and even then stragglers remain at the site of the wedding. Such an event is not a common occurrence, and they grasp onto the welcome break with all they can.

“Something tells me it’s time to head back.” I say, an amused eye on Keipii.

“I’m only a _little_ bit tired.” Keipii protests, yet she still follows Poe and I as we begin to navigate back to our rooms.

“That’s tired enough, kiddo.” Poe ruffles the girl’s hair as she yawns, an admission to defeat in this debate.

“You looked like you were having the time of you life.” I say in reference to Poe and Keipii’s dance.

“I stood on Pa’s feet the whole time,” The kid admits, taking my hand as we walk. “Poe, can you stay with us tonight?”

“Depends on what your mother has to say.” Poe answers, looking over at me. I appreciate it.

“Sure, why not?” Keipii beams up at my answer.

Stepping inside of shared room, Keipii flops onto one of the beds, curling up and falling asleep despite having not completed any hygienic routines.

Poe slumps down into a chair, and I take the one opposite him. We sit in silence, not one of discomfort, and simply think.

“I’ll get back to my room when she’s completely out.” Poe speaks up, not wanting to intrude.

“She really admires you, you know,” I respond, keeping an eye on Keipii. “Thanks for looking after her during the wedding.”

“Any time,” Poe says, flashing me a quick smile, one that I return. “She’s a good kid. She’s lucky to have you.”

More moments of contemplation pass, the room around us moderately dark. I find my mind almost blank, though it comes close to lingering on Zebalea’s words.

“Y’know, come to think of it, I didn’t see you dance at the wedding today.” Poe mentions, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“I didn’t have anyone to dance with.” I say, shrugging, a meek attempt at avoid where this could be heading. He raises a brow.

“Well, now you do.” Poe says, standing and offering me his hand.

“I can’t dance.” I try in mild protest, a smile slipping onto my face.

“With that Naboo heritage of yours, I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” Poe gestures for me to take his hand. I do, letting a light laugh of disbelief as he pulls me to my feet and close to him.

He rests his free hand on my waist as I rest mine on his shoulder, and we begin to sway. When Poe starts to move his feet rhythmically, I internally cringe at the nervous giggle that bubbles out of me. Poe chuckles, readjusting his grip as he begins to hum.

Rather than paying attention to the close proximity and the beautiful voice, I focus on the pattern of the steps.

“Told you so.” Poe murmurs to me.

“Hm?” I look up him quizzically. A fond smile slips across his face.

“You’re getting the hang of this.” He explains, referring to the dance.

“Just following your lead.” I try to brush it off.

“That’d be a first.” Poe says, grinning at me.

“Oh, yeah? What’s that suppose to mean?” I enquire teasingly.

“From the first time we worked together, you’ve been doing things your way,” Poe tells me. I can’t quite place the soft emotion in his eyes and voice. “It’s worked out so far. You’re pretty much on your way to stealing my job.”

“Oh, shush. You and I both know that’s not true.” I reply, the curve of a smile gracing my face.

Poe hums in response, eyes darting down my face momentarily. I’m suddenly hyperaware of how close we are, our dance having slowed until we were unmoving, our noses almost brushing. A mirror of his actions, my gaze flickers to his lips.

“What are we doing?” I mumble, almost caught in a trance.

“I don’t know.” Poe murmurs back. He squeezes my hand, pulling me closer by my waist with his other arm. I hum softly in acknowledgment of his words.

“You really are reckless.” I barely manage to whisper, silenced by Poe’s mouth on mine. Dropping the hold of our fingers on each other, I slip my arms around the back of his neck, running my hand through his thick, dark curls. He runs his hands down my sides, wrapping his arms around my waist. His touch is warm as he pulls me impossibly closer.

It’s a moment in which we lose ourselves, pouring out our hearts. The kiss is full of a slow urgency, reminiscent of a slow fear, the knowledge that we’re living in the midst of a war, one in which we don’t know what will be taken from us next. Our overdue emotions begin to spill over.

And the buzz of that moment... the buzz of that moment fizzes on my lips as we break apart, breath heavy, but as Poe rests his forehead against mine, a weight rests upon my shoulders. We search each other’s eyes, knowing the truth, knowing how we feel, but the words that so desperately need to be said are caught in our throats. There’s not a trace of regret, but the uncertainty of our actions comes close enough to it.


	21. XXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so like... this fic is maybe kinda diverging from how they located Lor San Tekka in the comics since they’re ongoing and like the entire process of finding him hasnt yet been revealed? I’ll sort out the timeline further when I start working on the companion fic.

Two missions had been followed through in relation to the search for the ‘Jedi-sympathiser’. While they worked to narrow the potential area, they turned up little. The third team had left a few days ago, and was due to return today. Any news they brought with them would be welcome.

It had been nearly two weeks since the wedding between Hyadum and Jenn. Nearly two weeks since the incident with Poe. What happened was in the spur of the moment and impulsive.

Unsurprisingly, the traits shared with the occurrence are so very in our nature.

The issue was that the kiss didn’t solve anything. Poe and I live dangerous lives. The stakes are always high. Acknowledging the feelings we have is one thing, but actually acting on those feelings? The risks that came with such attachment are too much for even us.

If what we felt was true, then trying to avoid the obvious would cause trouble, yet still we left behind our habits. No more kisses on cheeks, no more hand holding. I started subconsciously avoiding him. Truth be told, it wasn’t helping. Instead, it left me with a feeling of hollow confusion.

I sigh as I sit on the duracrete of the hangar, choosing to take a break from working on my X-Wing. Noticing my mood, BB-09 bumps into my leg, beeping encouragements.

“Y/N, there you are!” I turn to see Karé Kun calling to me, Jess beside her. “You’re wanted in the Command Centre.”

“What’s happening?” I ask, standing up. I was close with Jess, but didn’t really interact with Karé as much.

“The Jakku scouting mission just got back,” Jess tells me as I catch up with the pair and we begin to head off. My astromech, rolling alongside us, gives a series of beeps and chirps direct at Jess, who shoot a look at the droid. “Yeah, they’ve got news, ‘09 - and will you ever stop calling me ‘The Great Destroyer’?” BB-09 responds with a whir of dissent.

Inside the Command Centre, there is already a number of people gathered. I take my place standing around the central table, across from Poe. Our gazes meet, but we just nod in acknowledgement of each other.

“I believe that’s everyone,” General Organa speaks up, eyes scanning over those in the room. Huh, it’s not that many. “In that case, let’s begin.”

“As you all probably know, myself, Kat, and Teditt just returned from a reconnaissance mission. We were scouting Jakku, and what we found has lead us to believe we may have found the individual with the map to Skywalker,” Curint announces. “We were surveying the Kelvin Ravine when we stopped in a small village to replenish our water supplies. The colony was called Tuanul, a settlement populated by members of the Church of the Force.”

“Were you able to identify the one in possession of the map?” General Organa questions, seeming to already know the answer.

“A human man recognised us as being members of the Resistance. He said his name was Lor San Tekka.” Kat tells her. The General nods.

“That’s who we’re looking for,” She says before addressing Poe. “Poe, I believe it’s time for you to reveal the details of the classified missions I sent you on.”

The Commander nods slowly as he begins. “The General already was suspicious that the First Order was looking for Lor San Tekka, the one with the map, after a mission where intel was pulled from the ship Hevurion Grace. After the obtainment of this information followed a number of classified missions,” From across the table, Poe gives me a look, one almost guilty. “Missions carried out by the Black Squadron. A while back, we went to the planet Ovanis. The mission was rough, but the Crèche people told me where they believed Lor San Tekka went. We followed the information up, taking us to the prison planet Megalox Beta.”

“The Crèche told me Grakkus the Hutt was the guy our man Lor visited next. The Black Squadron broke him out, and he gave us a list of locations. I went with C-3PO and Oddy Muva to Kaddak, but the First Order official Tarak ambushed us. That was the mission that L’ulo died on. Oddy went missing, and when we found him, he also died fighting the First Order,” Poe pauses, swallowing thickly. These were close friends he’d lost. “C-3PO had been monitoring the list Grakkus gave us, and lead to one of our most recent missions, taking us to Cato Neimoidia. Alongside the General, we found Lor San Tekka and busted him out of holding.”

“He made passage to Jakku, which is why our most recently issued mission was reconnaissance on said planet.” General Organa finishes. It’s quiet in the Command Centre as everyone process the information. I pinch the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes closed for a moment, mulling over everything I didn’t know.

“Wait, so... how does the work the rest of us were doing fit in?” I question, gesturing to the others around the table.

“Every mission counts in helping us gain the advantage over the First Order.” The General answers. She looks me in the eye, and I realise there is more she wants to say but she can’t do here. She’s an intuitive woman, she knows what it is I want to know, and I want to know the purpose of the missions I had been sent on.

“What’s the plan now?” Snap asks, leaning on the table, watching our General intently.

“Commander Dameron will leave for Tuanal on Jakku in a week. He will be the one to retrieve the map,” General Organa announces. I almost laugh, and Poe’s gaze flickers over to me, catching the ghost of a smile on my face. Just a few weeks ago, didn’t I say he would be the one chosen for this mission? “Those directly involved in this coming retrieval will be briefed in the coming days. Unless anyone has anything else to say, you’re dismissed.”

There’s a ripple of murmurs about the mission, but quickly enough the majority of those gathered begin to filter out of the Command Centre, myself amongst them, not necessarily keen on sticking around at the given moment. I’m a fair way down the corridor when someone calls my name.

“Y/N, wait!” It’s Poe. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” I reply shortly. Poe takes a moment, looking for the words.

“Stars, where do we even start?” He mutters, running a hand through his hair. Now that the nature of his missions has been revealed, I’m seeing everything he does in a new light, and I’m beginning to look past the front he put up to hide his stress.

“That’s up to you, flyboy.” I say, arms crossed. Poe seems taken slightly aback by my tone. Truth be told, I’m not entire sure why I feel so riled up by it all, but I figure it’s due to the reveal of these classified missions and the, ah, unfinished business between us.

“Is this about the missions? Y/N, listen, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about them. I trust you, and I’m sorry if I hurt you-“ Poe starts apologising to me.

“You know what, Poe?” I cut him off. “I am. I _am_ hurt. I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me, but I will _not_ have you apologise for it. The details of those missions were classified, even to your team members. You were just doing your job, helping the Resistance, and I have no actual reason to be upset or angry. Don’t apologise - you have no reason to.”

There’s a momentary pause. I sigh, and continue, my tone now much softer. “I- I thought I knew you better. I thought I would have noticed the stress you were under, and I feel _bad_ because I didn’t. I was so absorbed in my own world that I completely missed it. I’m honestly not bothered by you keeping the missions away from me - I understand that telling me would have just added to everything else you were dealing with - but you can talk to me, y’know? You don’t have to tell me exactly what’s going on, but you _can_ talk to me.”

Poe stares at me for a moment before pulling me into a tight hug. I’m quick to return the embrace as he buries his head into the juncture between my neck and my shoulder.

“You were my first choice of pilot to come with me to Kaddak, you know. Even if you aren’t in the Black Squadron,” Poe mumbles. “I couldn’t risk you like that, though. The mission was sensitive enough already.”

“Poe, when Terex ambushed you on the way back to base, stars, they didn’t even _tell_ me. I was off-world when L’ulo died,” I tell him, guilty that I wasn’t there to give the veteran pilot a send off. “ _You_ could have died, too, and I’m only just finding out about this mission.”

“I had BB-8 send a message back to base in case I died, but there was no way I actually would have,” Poe says. I pull back from the embrace and give him what must be an almost horrified look, since he immediately looks sheepish as he realises I didn’t know about BB-8’s message. “I have too much I still need to do before I die, and I promised myself I’d tell you everything.”

“And _is_ that everything?” I ask him. He hesitates, and I sigh.

“No. No, it’s not everything, but it’s most of it, I swear,” Poe tells me, looking me in the eye. “But we do need to talk about one more thing. The other day, we-“

“Yeah, I know. I know,” I sigh, rubbing my face. “Poe, listen, I don’t regret kissing you, but I don’t know if this is the best idea.”

“What do you mean?” Poe asks slowly, cautiously, his hands on my shoulders as he searches my face.

“I mean, you’d just gotten back from what I assume was a dangerous mission, and we’d just attended a wedding. How- how do we know we weren’t just riding the aftermath of that?” I say, grasping for straws. I try not to focus on the hurt in his eyes, but it’s hard when I’m also hurting myself. “And even if we weren’t, is it really worth the distraction? When we’re out there flying and fighting together, it’s not only unfair on everyone, ourselves included, if we start paying too much attention to each other, but it’s also dangerous.”

“Karé broke up with Snap for the same reason,” Poe says, almost quietly. “If anything, that made it worse for them.”

“I know, I just...” I falter in my words. “I don’t know if I can do it, and I’m sorry. You deserve better than this situation.”

Poe nods slowly, processing, acknowledging what I’ve had to say. He drops his hands and straightens up. He steels his expression, and I hate this conversation.

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to apologise,” He flashes me a brief smile, a quick attempt to reassure me. “I’ll see you around base, okay?”

As I watch him go, every step he takes I find myself loathing what I’ve said even more.


	22. XXII

As morning came, the weight of sleep lifted soon enough, but the weight of the coming mission did not do the same.

Today was the day Poe was to leave for Jakku, to collect the map from Lor San Tekka. It was a race against the First Order, a race with a lot resting on it. A select few members of the Resistance were clued in on it, to be briefed the morning the mission was to commence.

Knowing what the day holds, Keipii is quick to wake up. She accompanies me to breakfast, but the feeling that something _wrong_ is going to happen makes the food difficult to swallow. The young girl proceeds to follow me as I finish and leave the dining hall.

Not allowed to bear witness to the mission briefing, I make sure Keipii stays outside of the Command Centre. Inside, I join the few operatives and pilots who await General Organa’s words.

I meet Poe’s watchful gaze, and I am reminded of the guilt I feel.

The General enters the room, bringing with her an air of authority. She looks over each person gathered, and chooses to speak to the pilots first.

“Black Squadron, Commander Y/L/N,” She begins. “I’m sure you all already understand that you are here out of courtesy, a result of your prior missions.”

Nobody complains. We’d already figured as much.

“Lieutenant Connix, you will be required to keep an eye on incoming data. Any needed help will come from any of the other operatives here,” The General gestures to the people around her, before turning her attention to the one that’ll be carrying out the mission. “Commander Dameron, you know what to do. Head straight to Tuanal, located on Jakku. There, you will find Lor San Tekka. He’s an old friend and ally, and should give us the map if he knows who you are working with.”

“There is no way of knowing if or when the First Order will arrive, so you must be quick, Poe,” Leia continues to address the pilot. “And I need you - and everyone else - to be absolutely clear that, in the event that something does go wrong, we _cannot_ risk sending a rescue party.”

“Understood. Nothing will go wrong.” Poe responds, affirmative. Leia must have taken notice of the faint frown on my face, because she looks at me as she answers my unspoken question.

“If something happens out there, it would almost certainly be a direct result of First Order interference,” The General elaborates. “Commander Dameron is an important part of this organisation, but we cannot risk the lives of the many for the lives of the few.”

I know the only reason I’m really here is out of respect for the apparent relationship I’ve formed with Poe over the past months. I have no say in this mission, so I keep my mouth shut.

“Is everyone clear about their roles?” General Organa questions, to which nobody objects. “In that case, good luck, and may the Force be with you all.”

When those not needed in the Command Centre begin to leave, Keipii sticks her head into the room, looking for me, making her way over when she spots me.

“C’mon, we need to go say bye to Pa!” She says, tugging my hand. I glance over at the General, who is already watching me.

“I’m not sure what has happened between Poe and you these past few days, but I would recommend doing as the girl says,” The older woman tells me, her words laced with almost pained wisdom. “We’re at war, and you can never be certain of what is to happen next.”

I nod at her words, silent. With that, I’m being dragged through winding corridors by the young Pamarthen girl until we find ourselves in the hangar.

Keipii rushes ahead of me, easily singling Poe out amongst the scattered people. From a distance I watch as Poe noticeably brightens at her appearance, the two talking animatedly with one another. I almost ache, their interaction simply adding to the proof of how important the man has become.

“Poe!” I call out. He looks up at the sound of my voice as I jog over.

“What’s up?” He asks casually, Keipii deciding to give us a moment alone.

I hesitate for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I- just-“ I sigh, gaze flickering away from his face for just a moment as I collect myself. “Just... come home safe, okay?”

“That’s the plan.” He says, flashing a quick grin as he puts on his helmet.

“Good luck out there, Poster Boy.” I tell him, giving the pilot a small smile in return. Once, I would have kissed him on the cheek as a farewell, but this time around I don’t.

Somehow, watching him leave for this mission is possibly the toughest it’s ever been. I guess the circumstances are different, right down to the X-Wing he’s flying. It’s strange, watching Poe take to the air in an Starfighter not painted black and orange. Keipii’s hand is held in mine as we watch the ship disappear into the distance, continuing to stare into the sky after he’s gone.

Back in the Command Centre, there’s the buzz of chatter centred around the mission. The decision to keep Keipii out of the control room was an incredibly tough one, but at the end of the day, if - Force forbid it - something were to happen to Poe on this mission, nobody would want Keipii to have to experience that as it happened. She’s already dealt with the death of her biological parents.

I sit near General Organa, tapping impatiently on a table top as I tune into the various streams of conversation. Time passes painfully slowly, but eventually I hear the news that Poe has entered the Jakku system and was approaching the planet it was named for.

“General, Black Leader has landed in the Tuanal colony. Currently, all seems to be fine.” One officer - Kaydel Ko Connix, I think her name is - announces, exchanging a few more words with the General. I’m still on edge - I suppose it’s since, for the first time, I actually know the details of one of his missions - but I try to believe everything is fine. He’s fine. It will all be fine.

The minutes continue to tick by, unpleasantly slow. There’s little from Poe’s side, which could be reassuring, but it could also imply a number of less fortunate things. I continue to tap. No news should be good news.

“General, we have a problem,” Lieutenant Connix speaks up, focusing intently on the task at hand. “We’re reading signs of heavy damage to the S-Foil Servo Actuator of the X-Wing Startfighter Commander Dameron was piloting. The underslung blaster cannon is being utilised.”

I feel my heart sink and my throat tighten. Poe’s ship is not only taking damage, but also trying to deal it out, and that can only mean that’s he’s not alone out there. I move swiftly from my place, looking over the officer’s shoulder at the information on the Starfighter.

For too many painstaking minutes, there is no new information coming through. Suddenly, the entire display of the ship goes red, and I freeze. I feel sick, my blood running cold as I stare at the holo, horrified, scared.

They destroyed the ship.

“Y/N...” General Organa is good at hiding the pain she’s feeling, masking her voice with pity as she rests a hand on my shoulder. For a moment, I don’t respond, struggling to process what I just witnessed.

“No,” I murmur, the word barely escaping me. I’m still for a second longer before moving abruptly. “ _No_.”

“Commander Y/L/N, you do not have permission to do what I know you want to do,” The General warns me as I stride out of the Command Centre. “Poe knew the risks, and he knew there would be no rescue party.”

“Unfortunately, General, the Resistance is formed of rebels fighting for what they believe is right,” I say over my shoulder, pausing in the doorway. Of course she knew I would defy her in this situation. “And I _don’t_ believe in the orders you’ve given.”

I’m out of the room before anyone can stop me, sprinting towards the hangar. Once there, I make a move towards an X-Wing that does not belong to me. I run my hand along the metal of the unused ship, my resolve strong.

“Ma! What’s going on?” Keipii runs towards me, BB-09 by her side, beeping angrily.

“Keipii, listen to me,” I crouch down to her level, taking her hands in mine. “Poe might be in trouble, and I need to go and help him.”

“What kind of trouble?” Keipii asks, voice timid and eyes wide. “Will you be okay?”

“We’re not too sure, but he needs help. I’ll do everything I can for us both to come back alive and well, okay? I promise,” I tell the young girl. She nods, concern clear on her face. I pull her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. “You’re a brave girl, and we’re all so proud of you.”

BB-09 continues to chastise me for my actions, though the astromech still agree to help. From across the hangar, I see Snap, Jess, and Karé approaching.

“Don’t get yourself killed.” Karé says to me, holding out a blaster for me to take.

“We’ll look after Keipii, pretend we didn’t see you leave.” Jess reassures me.

“Just bring Poe back.” Snap finalises. I nod in understanding, bidding a wordless goodbye as I climb into the X-Wing.

Before I can be stopped, I’ve taken to the air, preparing for the jump to hyperspace.


	23. XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: oh, hey, look, it’s The Force Awakens. Also this chapter references chapter 4 if u need a memory refresher.

As the colony of Tuanal comes into sight, I feel my heart sink. The lack of movement as far as I can see is a horrific indicator of what occurred here.

I bring my X-Wing down, and climb out so very slowly, feeling sick at the sight before me; the X-Wing Poe took lies obliterated beside the corpses of every villager in the settlement. If everyone here is dead, the chance of finding Poe, BB-8, or even the map is slim.

I force myself to walk though, trying and failing to ignore the stench of burns and death emanating from both civilians and Stormtroopers. It’s clear that this is the First Order’s doing, but I can find no sign of Poe or BB-8.

“BB-09, where would you go if you survived an attack like this?” I ask. The droid beeps in response, rifling through its database in search of information on Jakku. After a minute I get an answer. “The Niima Outpost, hey?”

I tread carefully through the village, not sure of what I’m looking for. I make my way to the wreckage of the X-Wing Poe borrowed for the mission. He wasn’t amongst the bodies of the innocents in the centre of the colony, and after an inspection of the Starfighter, I find no sign that he was near when it was destroyed.

I feel guilty that, despite the many dead bodies scattered around, I’m hopeful of Poe’s survival.

“C’mon, ‘09. Let’s see if your hunch was right.” I return to my ship, having found nothing of use here. I feel bad, leaving the civilians like this, but I have no time to give them the ceremony they deserve.

I take to the air, BB-09 helping me locate the Hutt-founded settlement. If it really is Jakku’s most prominent point of interest, then I pray I have more luck there.

As I fly, my thoughts on the lacklustre planet are reinforced. There truly is nothing here but sand and scavengers. I dread to think how my life would have turned out if it was here I was born and raised.

Eventually, on the horizon I can see the Niima Outpost, but against the vast expanse of nothing it’s all too easy to spot the familiar shape of incoming TIE Fighters. They aren’t a sight I particularly want to see, but it’s a sight that lets me know I’m likely on the right track.

My X-Wing is over the settlement in seconds, arriving alongside the enemy ships. For a moment, I focus solely on engaging with the enemy, the S-Foils of my Starfighter locked in attack position. When I realise they’re shooting more at something on the ground than at me, I shift my attention downward. There, two people run from the First Order militia, with a particularly recognisable astromech rolling along just behind them.

Plumes of sand erupt into the air as the TIEs fire blindly. By my hand, a handful of the enemy ships explode in the air, but by now they’ve noticed who’s responsible and a few set their sights on me. I can’t hold them off for long by myself, and much to my inconvenience, I’m soon hit. It’s only at this point that I open my comms, hoping I’m able to send a message back to base. “This is Ivory Leader. We’ve located BB-8. I’m fine, but the First Order is looking for the droid too, and my X-Wing has been hit - this is likely going to be the last communication I’ll have with base until I get back,” The ship the three were headed towards is destroyed, and they turn to another ship. “BB-8 and the two civilians the droid is with look like they’re going to board a light freighter.”

I call out for BB-09 to drop out of the ship as the thrust engines fail. My astromech protests, but still ejects, hitting the sand and rolling towards BB-8. I follow suit, jumping from my X-Wing at a forgiving height mere moments before it crashes. From there, I sprint towards the old looking ship, kicking up sand in my wake.

Upon noticing me, BB-8 whirrs and chirps, bringing me to the attention of its new friends. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too, buddy, but we’re kind of in the middle of something right now!” I yell back to the orange-and-white droid.

The ramp into the freighter is already down, making our lives easier as we haul ourselves inside. “Gunner position is that way!” The girl points to a ladder, her pace not slowing for a moment, and the man she’s with takes off in that direction. I follow her to the cockpit, the two BB-units hot on our heels.

“You ever fly this thing?” The guy yells to us.

“No, this ship hasn’t flown in years!” The girl calls back.

“That’s always reassuring.” I say, my voice laced with sarcasm. The girl glares at me, clearly not understanding my presence. Rather than focusing on that, though, she starts flipping switches, mumbling encouragements to herself. I follow her actions.

The ship violently jerks up and to the side, dragging along the ground as we try to take to the air. After crashing through a a roughly built archway, we’re flying upwards.

“Wait, stay low, stay low!” The man shouts to us over the ship’s comms. “It confuses their tracking!”

“BB-8, ‘09, hold on!” I call back to the two droids, knowing the direction this is about to take.

“I’m going low!” The girl in the seat beside me warns, and the freighter suddenly plummets, swooping along the sandy terrain of the desert planet. The TIEs screech through the air, still hot on our tail. When they fire and our ship doesn’t return it, the Jakku girl is understandably frustrated, shouting to her friend over the comms. “What are you doing back there?”

“Are you ever going to fire back?” I yell at him, flicking a switch to my side to activate the shields. “Light, have you ever even done this before?”

“Once!” Is his short reply, and I can’t help but groan, truly beginning to hate this clunky old freighter.

Finally, our ship begins to shoot at the oncoming TIE Fighters. The shots miss, but it’s a start at least.

“We need cover!” The man calls to us.

“We’re about to get some!” Responds my co-pilot, but I catch the look of doubt of her face as she mumbles to herself. “I hope.”

“We’ve made it this far, we can make it ‘til the end.” I tell her firmly. She glances at me and nods, the ship swerving around a towering sand dune and into a starship graveyard. Here lie the broken remains of one of the Empire’s last stands against the Rebellion.

The broken bodies of Star Destroyers litter the landscape, and though they do offer some protection, they prove to be equally as dangerous. The sides of the freighter scratch painfully against the old tech, the TIEs barely avoiding them. The man manages to shoot down one of our enemies, but the moment is cut short as we’re hit.

“Uh, the cannon’s stuck in forward position, I can’t move it. You gotta lose him.” He tells us over the comms.

“Light, I wish I was in my X-Wing.” I mutter to myself. I keep my eyes forward, but as we approach the particularly large ruins of an Empire ship, I exchange a look with the girl beside me as we wordlessly formulate a plan.

“Get ready!” She calls back as we swerve, changing course to fly inside the wreckage. Her friend’s questioning of her words goes unanswered.

“Are we really doing this?” The man shouts as the scenery goes dark.

“Sure, why not, right?” I reply, adrenaline pumping. “It’ll be fun!”

The passage is narrow, and balls of fire obstruct our view as shots from the TIE behind us destroy old parts. After flying in darkness, our path is blocked, and we turn sharply, narrowly escaping through a gaping hole in the side of the craft. Still, the enemy pursues us, but the Jakku girl pushes our ship to the max, taking us high into the sky before cutting the engines completely. My heart pounds as the freighter falls through the air, but as the ship tilts I realise her plan.

Behind us, the TIE is hit by blasts from our locked cannon. The girl reactivates the ship’s thrusters, causing us to narrowly miss the ground below. We set our sights for the sky as the man whoops, the girl and I laughing in victory.

As we exit the atmosphere of the planet Jakku, the astromechs beep to one another in conversation alongside the pair of humans that I’m accompanying. For a moment, I stay in my seat, taking a minute to breathe and process the situation.

I join the others in the corridor in time to hear the girl reassuring Poe’s droid. “You’re okay, he’s with the Resistance. He’s gonna get you home. We both will.”

Immediately I know this is lie, and I’m ok edge. Organa didn’t issue a rescue - I had to directly disobey her orders to come here. Still, the First Order was after this man, so he must have something to say.

“BB-8, buddy! I was so worried!” I coo, dropping to my knees as the astromech notices me and excitedly rolls into my open arms. My own droid beeps indignantly, feeling left out. “C’mon, ‘09, you’ve literally not left my sight. I knew _you_ were fine.”

“You know each other?” The man asks me, and I stand up.

“I’m Commander Y/N Y/L/N of the Resistance,” I introduce myself, and I see him swallow thickly, averting his gaze. “I don’t know your names.”

“I’m Rey.”

“Finn.”

I nod, repeating their names to myself. “Finn, could I talk to you for a moment? Alone?” I request. He and Rey exchange a look, but agree nonetheless.

Rey leaves us, ducking into a nearby room out of politeness. I watch her for a moment before turning my attention back to the liar in front of me.

“Who are you really?” I question, my voice low. He hesitates, nervously looking away. “There was no rescue mission issued. I had to disobey direct orders from the General to come here. I know you’re lying, so _who are you_?”

He sighs in defeat, looking guilty as he answers my question. “My name’s FN-2187. I... I’m a - I was - a Stormtrooper.” Something about his face, his name, it’s familiar. I frown, trying to place it.

BB-09 beeps in alarm, and my eyes widen, my mouth falling open. “Oh my- oh my stars, I _know_ you.”

“What?” Finn looks confused as I pull him into a brief hug.

“Do you remember when Captain Plasmium was found dead on one of the First Order bases?” I ask, pulling back, and he nods. “I took her armour. You were in the infirmary, getting a physical examination or something when I walked in. _Light_ , you pretty much helped save my friend.”

“That- that was _you_?” Finn drops his gaze, processing the situation.

“Finn, how - _why_ \- are you here? And where did you get that jacket?” I ask, already putting together the pieces.

“I was at Tuanal when they killed everyone. I- I couldn’t do it, though,” He looks distraught. “I knew the prisoner they took was a pilot-“

“Poe.” I murmur.

“I helped him escape in one of the TIEs, but we crashed on Jakku,” The pity in Finn’s eyes tells me what I don’t want to know. “He- he didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, I’m still, replaying the Finn’s words over and over. My throat is tight as I slide down the wall, almost numb. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to choke back the tears.

“Are you done- oh.” Rey catches sight of me. I pay her no mind, my thoughts consumed with regret.

The two astromechs roll over to me, their whirrs imitating the sound of crying. BB-8 seems to be hit the hardest, as ‘09 tries to comfort me. While Finn quietly explains the situation to Rey, BB-8 gives me their side of the story, and my droid displays a holovid.

Tears blur my vision, spilling over as I watch the recording. Of course BB-09 was in the room when it happened, but I assumed they were off and charging. The holovid of Poe and I dance together breaks me down. Rey and Finn give me a look of pity and sorrow as I sob, the holo eventually flickering out, ending in our kiss.

Poe’s dead, and our last two weeks together were spent uncomfortably avoiding each other. How could I have been so _stupid_ as to have just let him go?


	24. XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: merry christmas lol, and if you don’t celebrate christmas, i hope you have a good day regardless!

A pipe bursts, and the shrill whistle of escaping gas interrupts my thoughts.

“Help me with this, quick!” Rey calls, darting over to the leak.

“What’s going on?” Finn asks, following her. The girl hauls aside a grate as the ship starts beeping urgently.

“It’s the motivator. Grab me a harris wrench, check in there.” She says, sticking her head out of the alcove and pointing to a toolbox.

“How bad is it?” Finn asks, rifling through the box.

“If we want to live, not good.” Comes Rey’s answer.

“They’re hunting for us now. We’ve gotta get out of this system.” Finn says, not having much success in finding the wrench.

“BB-8 said the location of the Resistance base is ‘need to know’,” Rey tells us. “If I’m taking you there, I need to know.”

At this point, I pull myself together and join Finn in looking for the harris wrench. The man looks nervously at BB-8, tossing Rey the wrench as he eventually finds it. I shake my head as I listen to Finn explain his situation and beg BB-8 to tell Rey the location of our base.

“Pilex driver, hurry,” Rey says, poking her head back up. “So, where’s your base?”

BB-8 looks at Finn in what could only be described as disbelief, before looking to me for advice. I sigh, and answer the question. “The Ileenium system.”

“The _Ileenium_ system?” Rey repeats, clearly not pleased with the remote location.

“Yep, the Ileenium system, that’s the one,” Finn tosses Rey another tool. “Get us there as fast as you can.”

As Rey ducks back down, Finn gives BB-8 and I a thumbs up, one which the astromech returns, utilising it’s lighter.

“I’ll drop you four at the Ponemah Terminal,” The Jakku native offers a compromise. “I need the bonding tape, hurry!”

“What about you?” Finn questions, confused by Rey’s words.

“I’ve gotta get back to Jakku.” She answers as though it was obvious, giving the man a look.

“Back to Jak- why does everyone wanna go back to Jakku?” Finn complains loudly, waving the wrong roll of tape around. I watch, almost amused as the two bicker.

“If we don’t patch this up the propulsion tank will overflow and flood the ship with poisonous gas!” Rey yells, pointing at the roll of bonding tape.

“Hey, Rey, you’re a pilot, you can go anywhere. That’s what pilots do. Why go back?” Finn says, glancing at me, and I nod in agreement. He turns back to his friend. “You got a family? You got a boyfriend? A cute boyfriend?”

“None of your business, that’s why.” Rey retorts, the leak finally stopped. Before anything else on the topic can be said, the power of the ship suddenly shuts off, dowsing us in the red dim of the emergency lights.

“That can’t be good.” Finn mutters.

“No, it can’t be.” I second the notion. I run to the cockpit of the ship, Finn and Rey close behind me, and start flipping switches and pressing buttons.

“Someone’s locked onto us,” Rey says, mimicking my actions. “All controls are overridden.”

The ship clangs. Finn climbs up onto the seats, peering out of the freighter as we’re bathed in a red light.

“See anything?” Rey asks.

“Oh, no,” Finn murmurs as our ship is swallowed by a much larger one. “It’s the First Order.”

“What do we do? There must be something.” Rey says.

“You said poisonous gas.” Finn mentions, turning to the girl.

“I fixed that.” She responds.

“Can you unfix it?” I question, catching onto Finn’s plan. Rey gets up, running to the grate, grabbing a gas mask as she goes. We follow suit, clambering into the compact area below the floor of the ship.

“Do you think this will work on the Stormtroopers?” Rey asks, fiddling with her prior work, the ship humming as power returns.

“Yeah. Their masks filter out smoke, not toxins.” Finn answer. Huh, useful info.

“Hurry.” I urge, peering out from the grate at the entrance to the ship, heavy footsteps approaching. I duck back down mere moments before the door slides open.

As we put on the masks, we listen to the low conversation being had, words being answered with soft, inhuman groans. I wince as a tool slips from Rey’s hand, clattering against the metal. It goes silent above us.

Suddenly, the grate is hauled away, revealing our hiding place. Alongside a Wookiee stands an old man, blaster pointed in our direction. “Where are the others? Where’s the pilot?”

“We’re the pilots.” I answer, gesturing to Rey and myself.

“You?” The man questions as his friend growls in disbelief.

I glare up at him, yanking down my mask to ensure he hears me clearly. “Hey, I can fly an X-Wing better than you could ever dream, old man.”

“No, it’s true. We’re the only ones on board.” Rey interjects, getting me to shut up.

The Wookiee growls again, and Finn gives it a look. “You can understand that thing?”

“And ‘that thing’ can understand you too, so watch it. Come on out of there,” The man orders, and we oblige. “Where’d you get this ship?”

“The Niima Outpost.” Rey answers.

“Jakku? That junkyard?” The old man questions, to which Finn readily agrees with his criticism of the planet. “Told you we should have double-checked the Western Reaches. Who had it? Ducain?”

“We stole it, from Unkar Plutt.” Rey says quickly. “He stole it from the Irving Boys, who stole it from Ducain.”

“Who stole it from me!” The man understandably doesn’t sound happy about the situation. “Well, you tell him that Han Solo just stole back the Millennium Falcon, _for good_.”

I feel my stomach drop at his words, feeling like an utter idiot as he walks away. I’m a Commander in the _Resistance_ ; I should be able to recognise Leia Organa’s husband.

“This is the Millennium Falcon? You’re Han Solo?” Rey does little to prevent the excitement seeping into her voice.

“I used to be.” Is Han’s short answer.

“Han Solo? The Rebellion General?” Finn questions.

“No, the _smuggler_.” Rey says.

“Wasn’t he a war hero?”

“Yeah, and he’s also my boss’s husband.” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. BB-09 chirps, laughing at me.

“This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs?” Rey continues to gush.

“Twelve!” Han shouts the correction, and I start off in the direction he was headed, almost smacking into him as he walks back out of the cockpit. “Hey, some moof-milker put a compressor on the ignition line.”

“Unkar Plutt did,” Rey says. “I thought it was a mistake too, puts too much-“

“-stress on the hyperdrive,” Han finishes. He pauses for a moment. “Chewie, throw them in a pod, we’ll drop them off at the nearest inhabited planet.”

“Um, excuse me, but _no_ ,” I huff. “Listen, old man, I’ve had a rough day-“

“-We’ve all had rough days.” Han cuts in, and I glare.

“It’s true. She just found out her boyfriend - husband? I don’t know - died, and she needs to complete his mission.” Finn defends me, and something flashes in Han’s eyes. At this moment, I hardly see the point in correcting the boy on my relationship with Poe, and I don’t want to delve back into the grief of it all right now.

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss.” Han offers, but he doesn’t slow down.

“We need your help.” Rey chimes in.

“My _help_?” Han looks at us in disbelief.

“This droid needs to get back to the Resistance base as soon as possible,” I continue, losing my patience. “You _should_ be helping us because not only was this mission set by General Leia Organa herself, but this droid is also carrying a map to Luke Skywalker.”

This is enough to make Han stop, considering our words.

“You _are_ the Han Solo that fought with the Rebellion,” Finn says, his voice soft. The man turns slowly to face us. “You knew him.”

“Yeah, I knew him. I knew Luke,” A faint smile appears on Han’s face as he reminisces.

For a second, it’s quiet, but the moment is cut short by a dull thudding. “Oh, don’t tell me a Rathtar’s got loose.”

Han takes off running in the other direction as Finn makes a sound of horror. “Wait, did you just say Rathtars? Hey, you’re not hauling Rathtars on this freighter, are you?”

“I’m hauling Rathtars,” Outside the Falcon, Han checks a security feed. “Oh, great. It’s the Guavian Death Gang, must have tracked us from  
Nantoon.”

“Well, this is just making my job _so_ much easier.” I mutter, words dripping with sarcasm.

“What’s a Rathtar?” Rey asks as we move further into the large ship.

“They’re big and they’re dangerous.” Is all Han needs to say.

“You ever heard of the Trillian Massacre?” Finn questions.

“No.” Is Rey’s innocent answer.

“Good.” I say, hand resting on my blaster.

“I got three of them going to King Prana.” Han fills us in.

“Three? How’d you get them on board?” Finn enquires.

“Used to have a bigger crew.” Han doesn’t need to expand on his answer, the Wookiee growling in emphasis.

The older man leads us to a hatch, opening it up to reveal tunnels just below the floor, and gestures for us to get in. “Get below and stay there until I say so, and don’t even think about taking the Falcon.”

“What about BB-8 and ‘09?” I immediately say.

“They stay with me until I get rid of the gang, then you can have them back and be on your way.” It’s not what I want to hear, but I reluctantly agree anyway.

“What about the Rathtars? Where are you keeping them?” A _thunk_ on the door behind us answers Finn’s question, and the three of us quickly head below deck.

We watch as Han’s shadow moves away, listening as a stranger starts accusing him. “Can you see them?” Rey whispers as we crawl in the direction of the voices. As the two above us continue to debate, we pause, catching sight of them through the grate.

“They have blasters.” I murmur.

“A lot of them.” Finn and Rey say in unison, looking directly up at the enemy group.

The Guavian Death Gang continues to argue with Han about owed money, bringing up some ‘Kanjiklub’, and right on cue, the sound of a door sliding open echoes through the corridor. As the new-comers start speaking to Han in a foreign dialect, we start crawling towards them.

I stop dead in my tracks as I hear what the Guavian Death Gang leader has to say next. “Those BB Units - the First Order is looking for one just like them,” The man pauses, and I’m really hating how the day has turned out. “And three fugitives.” Finn and Rey halt, looking at each other worriedly.

“First I’ve heard of it.” Han says, trying to play it off, and I’m grateful. The three of us below the floor start speed crawling, until Rey makes us stop, coming across some controls.

“If we close the blast doors in that corridor, we can trap both gangs.” She whispers her plan to us.

“We can close them from here?” Finn questions.

“Resetting the fuses should do it.” She answers, messing with those in front of her, the lights on each one turning red.

The ship goes dark, and from deep inside sounds a guttural call. My heart drops. “Oh, no.”

“‘Oh, no’ what?” Finn gives us a look.

“Wrong fuses.” Rey states. It doesn’t take a genius to realise which doors she’s messed with.

Above us, the shouts of the gangs turns into cries for help, the ship rumbling as the Rathtars screech. The three of us start speed-crawling, truly regretting our actions here today. We come across another hatch and scramble out as roars echo throughout the ship.

“What do they look like?” Rey asks as we sprint down corridors. Her question needs no verbal answer as one is presented before us as we round a corner. For a moment, we watch in horror as the creature devours the gang members it has in its grasp.

“They look like that.” Finn says, pulling Rey away from the scene as we run. Why in the galaxy could King Prana want these?

We continue to dart down corridors, narrowly escaping the beasts until a tentacle wraps itself around Finn, dragging him away as we scream his name. We run after him, but when I make a move to grab my blaster, I find that at some point I must have dropped it. I curse as we lose sight of Finn.

Rey continues to call his name, and we can hear him faintly calling for her. Following the noise, however, brings us to a display console. Rey, wide-eyed and breathing heavily, taps something in on the keypad, waiting for an opportune moment and slamming down a button. Elsewhere on the ship, a door slams shut, severing the appendage that held Finn.

We find him and, out of breath and adrenaline pumping, he tries to tell us what happened. Rey humbly passes it off as luck, and we’re once again running.

In a stroke of good fortune, we stumble into the hangar, Han, the Wookiee, and both droids already there. “You, close the door behind us! You, take care of Chewie!” We’re ordered by the older man.

We rush into the Falcon, Han and Rey headed to the cockpit as Finn and I attempt to tend to the injured Wookiee. Something thumps against the ship, and my reaction to catching a glimpse of a Rathtar attempting to eat the cockpit is probably inadequate, but at this point I just want to be done with the situation.

“Hang on back there!” Han yells to us as the ship begins to rise. Finn shouts back a reassurance, digging through a box of supplies.

The ship jolts forward, the familiar jump to hyperspace having never been so reassuring. In the cockpit, alarms beep and lights flash. Beside me, Finn struggles to bandage the Wookiee - Chewie, Han called him. Chewbacca? - and I take a moment to slump back and try to regain my senses. Han and Finn continue to yell, Chewie roars when BB-8 rolls over to try and help, and the alarms continue to blare. This isn’t the way I saw this mission going.

Suddenly, the systems stabilise, and it goes quiet except for Chewbacca’s complaints to Han. Finn leans on a table, accidentally activating an old looking game. Rey leaves the cockpit, joining us.

“So, fugitives, huh?” Han questions, hands on hips.

“The First Order wants the map. Finn is with the Resistance; so is Y/N. She’s a Commander,” Rey explains. Finn looks away, guilty. “I’m just a scavenger.”

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” Han nods at BB-8. The astromech turns to me for advice, displaying the map when I give encouragement.

The blue hologram fills the room, surrounding us all. “This map’s not complete, it’s just a piece,” Han says, observing it. “Ever since Luke disappeared, people’ve been looking for him.”

“Why did he leave?” Rey asks. Rumours always circulated on base, and I had heard a number of different reasons.

“He was training a new generation of Jedi. One boy, an apprentice, turned against him, destroyed it all,” Han tells us. It’s almost strange, finally knowing the truth. I stay quiet. “Luke felt responsible. He just walked away from everything.”

“Do you know what happened to him?” Finn asks.

“A lot of rumours, stories,” Han says. “People that knew him best thought he went looking for the first Jedi temple.

“The Jedi were real?” Rey speaks up, moving closer.

“I used to wonder about that myself, thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil, the dark side and the light?” Han admits, before turning to look at us. “Crazy thing is... it’s true. The Force, the Jedi, all of it. It’s all true.”

The moment of awe is interrupted by a beeping from the ship.

“You want my help? You’re getting it,” Han tells us, and I can’t help feeling relieved. “We’re gonna see an old friend, she’ll get you and your droids home. This is our stop.”


	25. XXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: exactly a year ago I began this fic, and somehow today it’s come to a close. Thank you all for sticking by me throughout this story, and I hope you’ll stay around for the companion fic and the eventual sequel!

Falling out of hyperspace reveals the rich blues and greens of the planet we’re headed to. The Millennium Falcon flies close to the landscape, rolling hills surrounded by numerous lakes spread out before us.

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.” Rey whispers, and I feel a pang of pity for the life she’s lived.

We come to stop in a clearing, the forest we’ve landed in surrounding a stone castle that towers above the foliage. Rey’s the first one out of the ship, taking in the sights and sounds of the flora and fauna she missed out on growing up. I hang back for a minute while Han gathers equipment.

“Hey, Solo, listen, I don’t know what we’re walking into here-“ Finn starts, his voice low.

“Did you just call me Solo?” Han interrupts.

“Sorry, Han- Mr. Solo,” Finn corrects himself before going on. “You should know, I’m a big deal in the Resistance, which puts a real target on my back. Are there any conspirators here? Like, First Order sympathisers?”

“Listen, ‘Big Deal’, you got another problem. Women always figure out the truth,” Han pushes a blaster into Finn’s arms. “ _Always_.”

The older man glances over at me. “Hm? Oh, I knew from the get-go,” I say, shrugging. “I think Rey’s lived life in too much isolation to realise, though.” Han gives Finn a look before leaving the ship, passing me a blaster as he goes.

Finn takes a deep breath before we leave with Chewie to join the others. For a moment I feel like we’re intruding on a conversation between Han and Rey, but they bring the topic to a close, and we set off down one of the dirt paths towards the castle.

“Solo, why are we here again?” Finn asks, antsy about the whole situation.

“To get your droid on a clean ship,” Han answers. “You think it was luck that Chewie and I found the Falcon? If we can find it on our scanners, the First Order’s not far behind.”

The entrance to the castle is an impressive display of flags from across the galaxy, decorating the base of the looming statue portraying a foreign race I’m unfamiliar with.

“You wanna get BB-8 to the Resistance? Maz Kanata’s our best bet.” Han continues.

“We can trust her, right?” Finn asks, ever on edge.

“Relax, kid. She’s run this watering hole for a thousand years. Maz is a bit of an acquired taste, so let me do the talking,” Han tells us. “And whatever you do, don’t stare.”

“At what?” Rey, Finn, and I ask in unison.

“Any of it.” Is the vague answer we receive as we enter the building.

Mellow music plays throughout the cantina, patrons of numerous species and cultures taking up almost every seat, the atmosphere bustling with life.

“Han Solo!” A voice calls out, and it goes silent, save for the sound of a shattering glass. Every head turns in our direction. Han sighs.

“Hey, Maz!” He replies with a wave, and the music and chattering resume.

Through the crowd weaves a small, orange woman, and I realise the statue outside is of her. This must be Maz. “Where’s my boyfriend?” She questions.

“Chewie’s working on the Falcon.” Is Han’s answer.

“I like that Wookiee,” She says. I exchange looks with Finn and Rey. “I assume you need something. Desperately. Let’s get to it.”

By this point, I’ve learnt not to question things like this, and follow her. Still, this place is full of shady people, and I’m on edge with BB-8 out in the open like this. Maz leads us to a round table, taking a seat as she listen intently to the astromech’s explanation.

“A map, to Skywalker himself?” Maz turns to Han and laughs. “You’re right back in the mess.”

“Maz, I need you to get this droid to Leia.” Han tells her, voice low.

“Hm, no,” She replies shortly. We look at her in disbelief as she continues to address the older man. “You’ve been running from this fight for too long. Han, go home.”

“Leia doesn’t want to see me.” He says, melancholic.

“Please, we came here for your help.” Finn pleads.

“What fight?” Rey asks, as curious as ever.

“The only fight: against the dark side. Through the ages, I’ve seen evil take many forms. The Sith. The Empire. Today, it is the First Order, their shadow spreading across the galaxy. We must face them, _fight_ them. All of us.” Maz tells the young girl, but she strikes a nerve with Finn.

“There is no fight against the First Order, not one we can win,” The ex-Stormtrooper states, leaning forward. I clench my jaw. “Look around. There’s no chance we haven’t been recognised by now. I bet you the First Order is on their way right-“

“Then we deal with them,” I snap, cutting him off. His argument is one I’ve been fighting against for a long time. “Cowardice never got anyone anywhere. If we don’t fight back, then innocent lives across the galaxy would have been lost for _nothing_ , and will _continue_ to be lost under the rule of the First Order.”

A clicking distracts both Finn and I from the debate. “Uh, what’s this? What are you doing?” The boy questions, watching Maz adjust her lenses. The woman squints at us, climbing across the table, knocking things to the floor. “Solo, what is she doing?”

“I don’t know, but it ain’t good.” Is Han’s seemingly unfazed answer.

“If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people,” Maz tells us, observing closely. “I’m looking at the eyes of those who want to run. A man who wants to run away, and a woman who wants to run towards the fight.”

I swallow thickly. Finn leans forward, and speaks in a low voice. “You don’t know a thing about me. Where I’m from, what I’ve seen. You don’t know the First Order like I do. They’ll slaughter us. We _all_ need to run.”

Maz returns to her seat and points across the Cantina. “You see those two? They’ll trade work for transportation to the Outer Rim. There, you can disappear.”

“Finn?” Disbelief laces Rey’s tone.

“Come with me.” Finn offers earnestly.

“What about BB-8? We’re not done yet, we have to get him back to your base!” She reminds him. The orange-and-white droid beeps anxiously. For a moment, Finn looks forlorn.

“I can’t.” He decides, leaving us behind. It’s not my place to feel this way, but I can’t help but feel almost betrayed by his actions, despite knowing exactly why he’s doing it. The hurt on Rey’s face is clear as day, and she too stands up and leaves, BB-8 following her.

Han and Maz discuss something, and I too excuse myself the conversation. I make my way outside, BB-09 hot on my heels.

I take seat on the stone steps leading up to Maz’s Castle, taking a minute to myself to think about everything that’s happened the past couple of days, and everything there is still to do. As my astromech chirps reassurances, I find myself thinking of home, of my family and friends, wondering what’s happening back on base.

My thoughts are interrupted when around me, people shout and cry out, pointing to the sky. I look up and feel my blood turn to ice at the sight of the angry red beam. I stand, filled with an incomparable dread. Even here, across the galaxy, the destruction of the system is visible. Han is now beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder. I cover my open mouth, tears filling my eyes as my heart goes out to the billions of innocent people that just mercilessly lost their lives. BB-09 beeps, frantic.

“It was the Republic! The First Order, they’ve done it,” Finn calls to us, running over. He’s breathing heavily, and glancing around he realises someone is missing. “Where’s Rey?”

The destruction of the Hosnian system leaves me feeling helpless, but as the familiar, distant screams of TIEs fill the air, I’m left with a deep-rooted feeling of dread.

Maz takes us back inside her castle, leading us to a passage underground. “I’ve had this for ages, kept it locked away.” She tells us. At the end of the stone corridor is a wooden chest. The small women reaches in, revealing to us a metal hilt.

“Where did you get that?” Han questions, recognising the object.

“A good question, for another time,” Maz places the item in Finn’s hands. “Take it. Find your friend.”

The way Finn instinctively holds it makes something in my mind click, and I realise that, of all the things that could have been given to us, this- this is a lightsaber.

There’s a boom, and around us, everything shudders and shakes. Maz speaks, her words hushed. “Those beasts, they’re here!”

When we make it above ground, the castle has already been reduced to rubble, flames burning and blaster fire filling the air. Han takes the lead, clearing out the first few Stormtroopers that notice us. Behind me, Maz shouts at Finn to go help Rey and BB-8.

Han and Chewie briefly split up from us, and as Finn utilises the lightsaber now in his possession, I watch his back, taking out Stormtroopers that don’t get too close.

I hear a shout of ‘traitor!’ behind me, but am too preoccupied to acknowledge it. When I turn back a minute later, I see Finn on the ground, a trooper preparing to bring their weapon down on him. I fire at the buckethead, distracting him long enough for Finn to crawl away. It’s Han that fires the finishing shot as I dash over to my friend.

“You okay?” I ask, helping Finn to his feet.

“Yeah, thanks.” He replies, breathless, Chewie and Han joining us.

“Let’s call it even.” I suggest, referring to his role in Poe’s escape from the First Order. Finn nods.

“Don’t move!” I turn to see a group of Stormtroopers surrounding us, every one of them with their blasters raised. “TK-338, we have targets in custody.”

Our weapons are snatched from us, and we’re shoved with blasters, being made to surrender. Hands on our heads, we’re lead through the ruined remains of Maz’s castle, helpless.

The Stormtroopers continue to relay messages back and forth to each other over their comms, most of it indistinct chatter to my ears. The group leading us away suddenly stops, though, something else brought to their attention.

“We have incoming at 28.6, move, move, move!” Comes the shout of their squadron leader, troops immediately positioning themselves in the direction of the lake.

The flair for the dramatic is not lost on me as incoming ships at high speeds spray water into the air behind them, creating a mist that follows them. My hands drop from my head as a grin breaks out across my face. “It’s the Resistance.”

I watch, ecstatic, cheering as I watch my friends begin swiftly clearing the area out, wishing I was up there with them. The Stormtroopers guarding us are shot down, and we’re quick to grab weapons and start firing.

I’m beside Finn when a TIE starts shooting at us, getting dangerously close when an X-Wing speeds overhead and takes it down. My heart skips a beat when I see the familiar black and orange design, and an almost teary smile is brought to my face as I recognise the skill of the Starfighter’s pilot.

“That’s one hell of a pilot!” Finn shouts at the display.

I whoop as the X-Wing loops back round. “Take ‘em down, babe!”

The enemy quickly realises that they are outmatched in skill, and begin to retreat. Finn and I run through the debris, just in time to see a cloaked figure carrying Rey into a ship. I stop, horrified by my friend’s capture, as Finn runs towards them, screaming out her name. We watch helplessly as they take to the sky, vanishing into hyperspace.

“He took her, did you see that? He took her. She’s gone.” Finn calls to Han as we regroup. He reassures the younger man he saw as he brushes past, making his way to the landing site of a transport ship.

I pull Finn into a quick hug, knowing exactly how he feels at this moment, having experienced it before myself. “We’ll find her. I promise.”

BB-8 makes an appearance, rolling past us to the ship from which a number of Resistance fighters exit. With the fighting over, from behind a pile of rubble emerges my own astromech - unharmed, much to my relief.

I make smalltalk with my droid, discussing the events of the battle as I give Han and Leia a chance to speak. It’s not long before it’s time to leave the planet.

While Han, Chewbacca, and Finn take the Millennium Falcon back to base, I know the General will have something to say about my actions, and I take the transport ship back.

For the most part, our journey is silent, but somehow that still speaks volumes about the disappointment my General feels.

Eventually, she breaks the silence. “I have every reason to ground and demote you.”

I don’t reply, knowing better than to argue back. The older woman sighs.

“Had it not been for your message about BB-8 on Jakku, I would,” I glance up at her words. “If you disregard orders like that again, however, you won’t be as lucky.”

I nod, quiet. “Yeah, that’s more than fair.”

Setting down on D’Qar is almost surreal. Part of me had felt as though we’d never make it back, and after the hectic couple of days I’ve just had, it’s kind of strange to be surrounded by busy Resistance members again.

I see Finn, and he nods at me from across the runway. He catches sight of something, though, and quickly runs off in that direction. BB-09 chirps, averting my attention to someone else.

“Keipii!” I call out. The girls sees me, rushing and jumping into my arms. I spin her around before sinking to my knees, holding her close.

“You’re okay. I wasn’t sure if you made it.” She murmurs. She must’ve heard my last transmission to base.

“I’m not leaving you anytime soon. I promised I’d come back alive, didn’t I?” I remind her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“You did,” She agrees after a moment of thought. “You also made that promise about Poe.”

My heart drops. Seeing Poe’s X-Wing at the battle of Takodana left me with a spark of hope, but truth be told, anyone could have been piloting it. Finn had all the evidence to believe Poe Dameron was dead, and despite his First Order roots, I trusted the man and his judgement.

Keipii frowns at my silence, confused by the look of heartache on my face. “Ma? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, my little galaxy,” I murmur, the guilt of telling her the truth of what happened weighing down my heart and my words. “Poe- Poe didn’t make it back from Jakku.”

Keipii’s eyes widen, full of fear and heartbreak, but something occurs to her and a deep frown replaces the expression. “What do you mean?” It hurts to see her like that. “He got back yesterday! He was hurt, but he was even more scared when found out you left to find him. He went to Ta- Takod- uh, the planet they just fought at, and he got back safe.”

I freeze at Keipii’s words, heart pounding.

“...What?” The whisper barely makes it past my lips.

“Where is- there he is!” Keipii tells me excitedly, point down the duracrete runway. I follow her gaze, instantly welling up when I see him.

“I love you, Keipii,” I kiss the girl’s head, reassuring her as I stand to go to Poe. “I’ll be right back.”

With every step I take, my pace quickens. Finn points in my direction. Shock and relief flashes across Poe’s face when he sees, and suddenly he’s sprinting towards me.

We collide, clinging to each other as sobs wrack throughout us.

“I-I thought you were _dead_.” I tell him, gripping the material of his orange flightsuit.

“Organa said there would be no rescues. What were you _thinking_?” He responds.

Poe pulls back, just enough to wipe his face with his sleeve before brushing away the tears on my cheeks. He presses his forehead to mind, laughter bubbling up out of us at the sheer relief of seeing the other alive.

“And you called _me_ reckless.” Poe chuckles, pulling me impossibly closer to him and kissing me deeply, a repetition of actions he took mere weeks ago. This time, however, there’s no trace of uncertainty in what we’re doing, just the vague regret that it took near death for us to throw aside our inhibitions.

For a moment we break apart. Those that bore witness to our action whoop, cheering for what they’d been betting on for so long. Poe, looking at me fondly, shrugs at the attention and kisses me again.

We’re both grinning into it, overcome by a sheer giddiness. Lost in the moment, we’re broken out of it by our General. “As pleased as I am to see you two together, we have work to do.” I pull back, smiling sheepishly at the woman as Poe positively beams, his arms still secure around me as my hands fall to his chest.

“We’ll be with you in a moment?” I try, and the General nods, a small smile on her face.

Poe hums happily, kissing me quickly once more before taking something off from around his neck, slipping the chain over my head to hang against my chest.

“Wait, are- are you sure?” I question, shocked as I realise what it is he’s given me.

“For all the reckless, impulsive decisions I’ve made,” He tells me. “I haven’t got any regrets about anything I’ve done with you.”

I’m speechless, staring at him wide-eyed. After a moment, I find my voice. “Stars, I love you.”

Poe grins as I pull him in for another kiss. “I love you, too.”

The weight of ring on the chain around my neck has already become a comfort.


End file.
